12 Years of Christmas
by Miss.Maraudeur
Summary: AU. It all starts with a chance meeting, a complete fortuitous encounter. But then it turns into some kind of silent tradition. For 12 years, Naomi and Emily meet in the same pub on Christmas Eve. A weird tale of a weird friendship that might just need the magic of Christmas to turn into something more.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Surprise! :D **

**I didn't want to announce it in EN because I wanted to keep the surprise, but I am back with a little Christmas tale for everyone :) **

**Now, this is a bit of an insane project because well... the _plan_ is to post one chapter every single day until Christmas day! I may need a lot of cheerleading to accomplish that though! **

**I hope everyone will enjoy the story! Please do tell me if this is something you're interesting in reading, if it's something I should continue!**

**Merry Holidays :D **

**.**

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**Chapter 1: The first Year**

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Emily Fitch was a lot of things, but hateful was not one of them. Actually, she was as far away from hateful as it was possible to be. Really, Emily had one of the kindest, biggest heart there was. She was usually extremely patient, almost to a fault and there was very little that made her lose her temper. Still, if there was one thing she had to admit she _did_ hate, it was when her twin sister Katie dragged her out whether she fancied it or not. Which, unfortunately for Emily, was the case tonight.

At least, the streets were much brighter than usual so it wasn't too creepy to be walking around at this hour, Emily thought as she tried to follow her sister, the stupid heels she had made her wear making her ankles wobble. Of course, with the sets of coloured lights twirled around almost every lampposts, it was no wonder everything was so bright. That had to be the best thing about tonight being Christmas Eve, Emily reckoned.

Along with the city's lampposts, several house fronts had also been decorated. Lights and tinsel were wrapped around railings or stuck along rooftops. There were Christmas wreaths on almost every door and sometimes candy canes or nutcrackers set up on lawns. Some houses were beautiful, some looked ridiculous, but with the very small layer of snow covering everything, Emily was loving it all. Even the over ambitious houses that had so many lights it was blinding. She loved Christmas, she couldn't help herself.

"Hurry up loser!" Katie snapped, bringing Emily out of her happy contemplation.

She frowned and hurried the pace.

"I said _hurry_" her sister repeated.

"I _am_ hurrying!" Emily shot back. "Or at least I'm bloody well trying. These heels you've made me wear are ridiculous"

"Urh, they're _hot_, you mean. Thanks to _me_ you're not like going to look like a _complete_ mong. So like, appreciate it, you cow"

Emily rolled her eyes, but thought better than to argue. She knew she wouldn't win with Katie anyway, she never did. Ever since they'd been kids, her sister had always had some sort of weird obsession with bossing Emily around. She always argued that she had to because she was the older twin, but Emily didn't understand how 6 minutes could constitute some kind of life binding protection contract. Besides, they weren't kids anymore. They were 17 and going to College, so Katie could very much fuck off as far as Emily was concerned.

Of course, it wasn't like she had the actual courage to _tell_ her sister that so she usually ended up following her around like some pathetic puppy dog. It didn't help one bit that Katie seemed to love having that much power over her.

"How much further do we have to go?" she asked grumpily, her arms wrapped around her small frame to try and keep the last bit of warmth she still had.

"Just like a block, will you _stop_ whining?" her sister replied irritably.

"We've been walking for _ages_!" Emily argued, not willing to let Katie win that easily.

"Yeah and we're almost there so like will you just fucking- Oh! There! We're here. See? Didn't need to be such a bloody mardy bum, did you?"

Emily glared at Katie, but her sister ignored her as she walked confidently to the club's entrance. Emily followed, but somehow she wasn't as confident as Katie. From where they were standing a fair few feet away, they could hear the music pumping from inside. The front of the club was illuminated with flashing lights, guarded by huge goons in tuxedos. There also was an enormous queue composed of what seemed to be hundreds of shivering kids that started from the entrance of the club and went all the way to the corner of the street.

Emily was less than certain they'd get in, but she followed her sister nonetheless as she walked in her stupidly short skirt and very high heels to one of the goons by the entrance.

"Hi" she addressed him with a big fake smile painted on her face. "I'm Katie Fitch, my boyfriend is inside, he's Danny Price, you see, Bristol Rovers"

Emily stood next to her twin, completely silent, her arms still around herself, her lips shaking from the cold.

"You on the list, love?" the goon asked in a gruff voice.

"Uh..." Katie went to reply, her smile faltering a little.

Emily raised her eyebrow next to her. She knew for a fact that Katie's dickhead of a boyfriend had never mentioned anything about a list.

"Maybe..." she said, uncertainly.

The goon grabbed a pad by the door and started looking at names.

"You're not on the list, sorry miss, gonna ask you to go at the end of the queue" the guy eventually said just like Emily had known he would.

"No" Katie said quickly. "Look, like, Danny is a bit ditzy, he probly just like forgot. So go ask him, he'll tell you"

"Look love" the goon said with an annoyed expression. "You're not on the list and that is that"

"But... My _boyfriend_ is in there" Katie continued, losing her temper a bit. "He's Bristol _Rovers_. I need to get to him"

"What you _need_ is to get the hell away from my face and into that queue" the goon replied flatly.

"How dare you?!" Katie shot back.

"Kay..." Emily tried to intervene, but her sister continued nonetheless.

"I'm Katie Fucking Fitch and I was _told_ to come tonight. You don't have any idea who you're dealing with! When my boyfriend finds out you've stopped me he's going be so mad! He's friends with the manager you know? I swear I'll have you like _fired_"

Emily groaned in embarrassment as the goon scoffed in disbelief.

"If your so called important 'boyfriend' had wanted to see you, he'd have put you on the list. Now fuck off before I start being a bit less nice"

"What?!" Katie exclaimed, but this time, Emily grabbed her arm forcefully.

"Shut up!" she hissed. "Very sorry, we're going" she continued, looking at the large man.

She dragged her sister away by the arm, ignoring the insults and threats she was still throwing over her shoulder at the club's bouncer. Every fucking kid in the queue was looking at them, laughing and taking videos of them on their mobiles. Emily had rarely been this mortified before.

"What the fuck Emily?" Katie snapped at her the minute they were out of view. "What's your fucking problem?"

"What's _my_ fucking problem?! Jesus Katie! You were making a total fool of yourself!" Emily exploded disbelievingly.

"What?! No I wasn't! That fucking idiot is _so_ going to lose his job I swear!"

"Oh grow up Katie! He was bloody right! If Danny had really wanted you there, he'd have put you on the list!"

"He _did_ want me there, fuck you! He _asked_ me to come!"

"Right... And I don't suppose you were blowing him when he said that, were you?" Emily scoffed, rolling her eyes.

"Fuck you!" Katie snapped back, her cheeks growing a bit red nonetheless.

"Why couldn't we just stay at _home_?" Emily continued, exasperated. "It's _Christmas Eve_! It's a _family_ matter. I bet precious _Danny_ is nose deep into some blonde slag's tits anyway"

"Fuck _off_!" Katie said angrily. "You're just jealous cause like no one invited you anywhere and you don't even have a boyfriend"

"Right..." Emily huffed, shaking her head.

Her insides were boiling with rage. She hated how Katie _always_ did that, always attacked her personally whenever Emily said something that didn't make her happy. According to Katie, everything always came down to the fact that she was such a 'loser' or the fact that she didn't have a boyfriend. What the fuck did she even know about what Emily wanted? Nothing. She knew absolutely nothing.

"Let's just go home" Emily sighed.

"No way!" Katie replied. "I dressed up. We're going out and if it's not in that stupid club, it'll be somewhere else"

With that, she was off and Emily had no choice, but to follow her. Sometimes, she really fucking disliked her sister. But she was still her sister and she wouldn't leave her to roam the streets at night on Christmas Eve on her own.

They walked for what seemed like forever according to Emily. Their heels were making a crunching noise on the ground, the air was slowly getting colder, the wind biting at their skin. Emily wanted nothing more than to call it a night, go home and cuddle up with her father on the couch to watch footy games on reruns. She didn't understand Katie's _need_ to go out. Why couldn't her sister be satisfied to just spend time with all of them in their house at least _once_ a year?

They continued to walk in silence. Emily had no desire to address her twin and apparently the later was feeling the same way. The more they walked, the fewer places there seemed to be. If they continued like that, they'd find themselves in a residential area with absolutely no bars and no taxis anywhere close.

When Emily felt certain her lips had turned blue, she decided that she'd had enough. Just as she opened her mouth to tell Katie they were going home though, her sister spoke up.

"Hey, what about there?" she said pointing at a pub in the distance.

Emily eyes travelled until they stopped on the pub in question. They widened when they actually saw it, her heart making an excited lurch at the sight.

If Emily had had to describe it in the most simple way, she'd have said that it was just beautiful. The front was made of an old grey brick, the door and windows of a thick dark brown wood. There was ivy growing from one side of the bar, crawling all the way up to the pub's rooftop ledge and sign. For Christmas, lights had been put around the large front window as well as threaded through the ivy. Inside, the lights were yellow and dimmed and Emily could see a few candles on the tables. She could also see the bar made of the same kind of wood as the door and windows and every machine behind it was old, antique looking and made of copper. The result was quite special. The place just felt familiar even though Emily knew for certain that she'd never been there before. It was so entirely perfect and so totally not Katie's kind of place. She turned to look at her sister with a curious expression.

"It's more your kind of place, yeah?" Katie said a bit sheepishly. "I thought like... why not, yeah? And well... there seems to be a few fit guys inside so..."

Emily smiled warmly. She knew her twin enough to know that this was her way of apologising for the scene she'd caused earlier. Of course, Katie would never have admitted it out loud so Emily just nodded and laced her fingers with her sister's.

"Let's go then" she said simply.

Katie grinned and together, they walked to the entrance. They let go of each other's hand as they stepped inside, the warmth of the place hitting them instantly. Emily's cheeks tingled and her smile widened.

There was a soft jazzy Christmas music mix playing in the background, barely audible underneath the pub's chatter. The air smelled of gingerbread and hops and it was wonderful. Katie elbowed her and when Emily turned to look at her, she had the most obnoxiously satisfied smirk on her face. Apparently, Katie could tell just how much she was loving the place. Emily felt herself blushing and rolled her eyes. She elbowed her sister back and Katie giggled.

They walked further into the pub until they found a free table. They sat down, took off their coats and the minute they were settled, Katie was getting up to go to the bar.

"Kay wait!" Emily shouted after her. "Here" she continued, taking a tenner out of her bag.

Her sister raised her eyebrows and scoffed at her.

"Oh _please_ Emsy, someone else is going to pay for our drinks" she explained just before turning on her heels, pushing her shoulders back and walking with a determined step towards the bar.

Emily chuckled to herself and looked at her go. Sure enough, a minute later, some lad had walked up to her. From the distance, Emily could see her sister bending a bit just so the bloke could have a good view down her cleavage. She rolled her eyes when her twin actually erupted into what Emily was _sure_ was fake laughter, a hand falling easily on the boy's shoulder. A few minutes later, Katie was walking back towards her with two pints of cider and a smug grin.

Emily shook her head at her, smirking as well nonetheless.

"How do you keep doing that?" she asked when Katie sit down.

"It's called being well fit and charming. You should try it sometime"

"Fuck off" Emily chuckled.

They sipped their drinks and Katie looked around for a bit.

"It's not half bad, is it?" she commented.

"It's _brilliant_" Emily exclaimed.

It was Katie's turn to shake her head and roll her eyes. Emily didn't mind though. For a night that had begun in the worst way possible, things were definitely looking up.

They chatted for a bit, drinking cider and warming up. It was nice, really nice actually. It had been ages since Emily had spent some real time with her sister, time that wasn't spent fighting or arguing. It was a relief to be able to just _be_ with Katie. Actually, things were going so well that Emily wondered if perhaps she shouldn't take advantage of the moment to tell her sister what she'd been dying to tell her for a while now.

Her heart started beating furiously at the thought of finally doing it. Her hands were trembling on her glass, her throat constricting. Could she really do it? Katie was in a good enough mood it seemed and it was just the two of them, wasn't it? Would there really ever be a better time? Emily doubted it. She had to do it now before it was too late.

She opened her mouth, her heart beating so fast she was afraid it would stop, but right when she'd been about to speak, Katie opened her mouth.

"Oh my _god_!" she muttered excitedly. "_Look_ at him!" she continued.

Emily closed her mouth and turned to look at whoever had caught her sister's attention. There, a few tables away, was a really fit looking bloke, even Emily had to admit. He looked tall, his shoulders broad, his teeth Hollywood white and straight, his hair dark and short. He was chatting with another guy, shorter, but quite cute too and just as Emily looked, he turned his head to smile at Katie. Katie grinned beside her.

"He is _so_ lush" her sister gushed.

"Why don't you go talk to him? Seems like he fancies you as well" Emily encouraged, all hopes of talking to her sister disappearing instantly.

"Yeah? You think?"

"Of course, he keeps looking at you" Emily assured her.

"Well, _yeah_" Katie agreed.

"So go on! What are you waiting for?"

"Come with me! His mate doesn't look half bad"

"No thanks" Emily replied quietly.

"Why not?"

"I just don't fancy him" she shrugged, looking everywhere, but at her sister.

"You don't fancy _anyone_" Katie said with an eye roll. "Okay then, you sure you don't mind if I go?"

"Promise" Emily replied, meeting her sister's eyes this time.

Katie looked at her for a beat or two as she tried to figure whether or not she was being sincere. When she was satisfied that she was, she grinned happily and stood up.

"Okay! See you later, hun" she called back and marched towards the boy, who grinned widely when he saw her approach.

Emily sighed to herself as she watched her go. She'd been so close to finally tell her sister, but now the moment had passed. She stared at her pint for a bit, playing with the edge with her index finger.

She'd been feeling so good a minute ago, but now she was feeling a bit blue. She couldn't believe she'd been so _close_ to telling her sister and now her chance was gone. For a moment there she had almost been able to taste the words on her tongue, feel them finally falling into the air, finally _exist_ somewhere else then in her heart and soul.

Emily lifted her gaze and looked at her sister openly flirting with the boy.

"Katie... There's something I need to tell you... I've known for a while now and well... the reason I never fancy the boys you show me is because... well... I don't fancy boys... at all. Katie, I'm gay" she muttered to herself.

Of course, voicing those words when no one was there to hear them wasn't the same. She sighed again and took a large gulp of cider.

Emily had no idea how Katie would react to the news when she finally got around to telling her. In all honesty, she was completely terrified that her twin would hate her for being so blatantly different from her. It seemed to Emily that, ever since they'd been born, Katie had always loved counting their similarities, even if they had always been a lot fewer than their differences. To know that they were so fundamentally different would be a shock to her twin no doubt, but Emily couldn't keep hiding who she really was. It was eating her up inside, all these lies and deception. Katie was her _twin_ for fuck's sake, she had to know.

But apparently, she wouldn't, not tonight at least.

Emily took another gulp, letting the liquid fill her mouth for a bit, letting her taste buds discover every little flavour. She placed the glass back onto the table and shot her sister another look. She seemed to be deep in conversation and enjoying herself.

Emily sighed to herself. Maybe she shouldn't have encouraged Katie to go on the pull. Now she was sitting on her own and there was no way to tell how long she would stay that way. It had barely been a few minutes and she was already sick of it.

She decided to chug the rest of her pint and got up to get another one at the bar. If she had to wait around for her sister, she might as well be properly tipsy, right?

Emily had just placed her order when something reflected the light right in her eye for a second. She squinted and turned to glare at the offensive object. She lost her frown the minute she found it though, her mouth going dry.

As it turned out, the offensive object just happened to be a silver watch wrapped around the wrist of one of the most breathtakingly beautiful women Emily had ever seen. Her heart started pumping wildly in her chest and her stomach gave an almighty lurch. Her mouth even opened a bit as she stared at the girl.

She seemed to be about her age with straight platinum blonde hair that stopped just above her shoulders.. Her skin was pale and looked as soft as skin could be, her features long and delicate, her nose straight and perfect and her lips... gosh, Emily could barely breathe. She gulped slowly, her eyes inadvertently falling to the edge of the girl's cleavage as she followed the exposed skin visible through the girl's V-neck T-shirt.

When Emily brought her stare back up, she felt her limbs go faint as her eyes connected with curiously amused blue ones. She closed her mouth and turned her face away, her cheeks bright red. From the corner of her eyes she saw the blonde girl giggle and smirk.

Emily bit her bottom lip in embarrassment as the bartender finally arrived with her brand new pint of cider. The second she had paid for it, she grabbed it briskly and took a huge gulp. She placed the glass back on the countertop, her eyes stubbornly fixed in front of her, her heart still beating furiously.

Emily stared for a while until she couldn't take it anymore. She turned her gaze until it was fixed on the blonde once again. The girl wasn't looking at her anymore, but seemed to be back in her own world. As much as Emily knew it was stupid to observe the blonde so obviously, she couldn't help herself.

When the blonde turned around and her eyes found Emily's once more though, the petite swore internally. She tried to distract herself, tried with all her might not to look again, but soon enough, she found herself glancing in the blonde's direction. This time, it felt like the blonde had been waiting for her, her ridiculously blue eyes fixed right on her, unblinking, unapologetic. Emily blushed furiously as she averted her eyes.

She counted to 30 in her head, trying to ignore the voice in her head- that sounded a _lot_ like Katie incidentally- that was telling her how much of a loser she was being, before turning around to look at the blonde. Her heart faltered when she saw that the spot previously occupied by the girl was now vacant. She turned back o face the bar, a bit crestfallen.

"So..." a beautiful voice suddenly said behind her, making her jump out of her skin. "How long do you usually do that?"

Emily turned around slowly, her heart hammering away, her hands trembling as she hoped the voice belonged to who she thought it did.

When her eyes locked with striking pale blue ones that were flashing with amusement, Emily knew she'd guessed right.

She half giggled, half choked. The blonde was even more gorgeous up close and Emily was not prepared for that.

"Wha-what?" she asked nervously.

"The little staring game" the girl explained with a shrug. "How long do you play it before you go up to actually _talk_ to the girl? Because, I'm telling you, after a few minutes it just starts being creepy"

Emily bit her bottom lip and felt herself shake.

"I... I'm sorry, I didn't mean..." she grumbled, her heart still racing.

The blonde tilted her head and looked at her curiously before a smirk crossed her lips.

"I didn't say you had been creepy just then, did I?"

Emily chuckled softly.

"No, I guess you didn't" she conceded.

They felt silent for a bit and Emily started squirming in her seat. The blonde didn't seem bothered though. She just kept looking at Emily calmly and perhaps that was the reason why she was feeling so nervous.

"I'm Emily" she ended up saying just to break the silence.

"Very nice to meet you Emily" the other girl replied.

They were silent for a few more seconds again. It was the blonde who broke it this time.

"So, _Emily_" she started, her voice deliciously melodious as she said her name. "You didn't answer my question... How long do you play the game, then?"

"I don't do that" the petite replied truthfully.

"Do what? Stare at girls? Because, I'd beg to differ..."

"No I meant..." Emily started, stopping as a wave of embarrassment hit her.

"Ah... You mean you don't ever get to the talking part?" the blonde asked.

"Well... yeah..." she mumbled in answer, her eyes shifting to her lap.

"No need to be so shy about it" the other girl reassured.

Emily felt herself smile gratefully.

"So what do you do then? You just come here on your own and... look?" the blonde asked, no hint of judgment in her voice, just genuine interest.

"Christ I'm not _that _sad" Emily shot back with a scoff.

The blonde chuckled along and shivers erupted on Emily's arms.

"I've actually never been here before and I'm not alone, I'm with my sister, but she's huh... busy" she explained as she turned to look a Katie who was still very much busy.

"Eh, would you look at that, twins. That's funny actually" the blonde mused.

"What is?"

"Well there's your sister trying to pull this bloke and then here's you... I don't think you were about to try and pull any bloke were you?" she teased, a big grin on her face.

Emily's mouth went dry and she averted her eyes for a moment.

"I... I don't know what you mean" Emily mumbled uncomfortably, her eyes finding Katie and her heart squeezing painfully.

The blonde was silent for a few seconds after that.

"She doesn't know?" she eventually asked calmly.

Emily's throat constricted painfully and she shook her head.

Silence fell around them again. Emily tried to control herself as her throat burned. Then, she felt a hand on her shoulder. Her entire body warmed up from the touch, but she also shivered. She dragged her eyes from Katie and locked them with the blonde's.

"It's okay you know?" the girl said softly.

"What is exactly?" Emily asked, not sure if the girl was referring to her being gay or the fact that she hadn't told her sister.

"Everything you fear isn't" she replied with a smirk.

Emily nodded, her eyes still locked on blues. The blonde didn't add anything and neither did she. They just continued to look at each other, their eyes unblinking and, just like that, Emily was overtaken with the urge to kiss the gorgeous blonde in front of her.

As the urge hit her, it seemed like the rest of the pub started to fade. All she could see was blue eyes and black irises and pale skin and really inviting pink lips. She squirmed in her seat a bit, hesitant, feeling like the urge was pulsing through her veins, intoxicating her, making her light headed. She knew she'd end up doing it if she kept staring into those eyes.

But then a voice yelled into the distance.

"Yo! Blondie! We're moving on, you coming?"

And just like that the moment was broken. The rest of the pub came rushing back and Emily blinked. The next second, the blonde had let go of her shoulder and was giving her a faint smile.

"Well I've got to go... It was nice meeting you Emily" she said.

"Wait!" Emily panicked. "I... Just... Am I going to see you again? Do you come here often? Or like, do you go to Roundview?"

The blonde chuckled.

"So many questions..." she teased. "It doesn't matter, does it?"

Emily's heart fell at the response. She panicked again when the blonde started to walk away.

"At least tell me your name!" She shouted after her.

The blonde turned to her with a smirk and shook her head.

"Isn't it more poetic not to know? Now I get to be that mysterious stranger you ended up chatting with in a quaint little pub on Christmas Eve"

"But... you know mine..." Emily tried to argue.

The other girl grinned wider and shrugged.

"Well you offered it..." she said.

Emily opened her mouth to argue some more, but stopped when the girl shook her head again and chuckled.

"Merry Christmas Emily" she told her and with that, she turned on her heels and disappeared through the door.

Emily stared after her for a long time even after she had. It wasn't until Katie came back to sit beside her that she snapped herself out of it.

"Hey loser!" her sister piped up. "Guess who got one _extremely_ lush guy's mobile number?"

Emily rolled her eyes, but smiled.

"Not going home with him then?"

"Huh _no_! I'm not putting out until he's brought me on _at least_ 3 proper dates" Katie replied indignantly.

"Well I'm glad you've got at least some sense" Emily replied happily. "Home?" she inquired.

"Yeah" Katie agreed.

They grabbed their coats from the table they'd been sitting at and walked back outside, shivering when the cold wind hit their skin. Despite herself, Emily looked around to see if she could spot the beautiful blonde. She was a bit disappointed when she realised she was nowhere to be seen.

"So?" Katie asked her. "Met any interesting boy while I was chatting with Ian?"

Blue eyes, blonde hair and a cheeky smirk came instantly to Emily's mind at the mention of someone interesting. She sighed slowly, wondering if she'd ever see that girl again. Then, she realised Katie was still waiting for an answer so she shook her head slowly.

"No... no boy" she replied.

"But there was that one girl" she thought sadly as her sister started telling her how maybe the next time Emily would meet her perfect lad.

Soon, she thought then. She'd tell Katie. Just not tonight.

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**So? What's the verdict?**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: You Guys! You really are the best! :D Thank you so much for the cheerleading and the love! It's helping A LOT. Making me work super hard to make sure I manage to stick to my very demanding schedule! **

**Can't tell you how much I appreciate it! **

**Oh I feel like I should tell you all that this 'story' might feel a bit like a collection of One Shots! It's sort of is that, but every chapter IS tied in to the previous ones! Still, since the concept of the story is that they meet every Christmas Eve, it feels like One Shots!**

**Anyway, hope you like the new one!**

**.**

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**Chapter 2: The Second Year**

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Emily looked a complete mess. If usually she looked quite hot with her beautiful mane of fiery red hair, her soft but carefully applied make-up and her kind smile, she looked the total opposite tonight, her hair all tangled up, her make-up staining her cheeks and her smile nowhere to be seen. She couldn't have cared less though, not tonight, not right now, not ever, she felt.

She walked into the night, her arms wrapped tightly around herself as she choked on hiccoughs and tears fell down her cheeks. She had lost track of how long she'd been crying. She'd lost track sometime between leaving her house in a hurry and getting onto a random bus.

This was so not how her night had been supposed to end, she thought sadly, a big hiccough making it through her throat along with a sob. It was supposed to be okay. It had taken her so much strength, so much courage. It was supposed to _count_.

Yet, somehow, it _hadn't_ and there was nothing she could do to take it back. It was out now, _she_ was out.

She continued to walk, the wind freezing her to the bones, her extremities burning with the cold. Emily welcomed the pain though, it was a nice distraction.

She couldn't believe how badly it had gone. Of course the redhead had known that telling her family she was gay was never going to be simple, she had known it would be unpleasant at best. Still, she hadn't expected it to be _this_ awful. She hadn't expected for Katie to snap and tell her she was lying. She hadn't expected for her mother to look at her as if she'd contracted a particularly disgusting and contagious illness. She hadn't expected for her father to just laugh it off as if it was a big joke. She hadn't expected for her brother to just sit there and pretend it hadn't happened.

She had hoped, foolishly perhaps, that she'd find at least one ally amongst the bunch. Sure she had known full well that it wouldn't be her mother, but she'd thought her _twin_ might have sided with her and if not bloody James was always raving about the weirdest things, surely he didn't mind lesbians?

But no, she'd been alone and even when she'd started crying and had sworn it was all true, she'd remained alone. Then, just because she'd dare thought it couldn't get worst, her mother had told her that she ought not to sit at the table if she was to say such 'foolishness'.

Of course, Emily's response had been that it _wasn't _foolishness and if no one was ready to accept that not only did she not belong at the table, but she didn't belong in the _house_ at all. She'd waited for someone, _anyone_, to back track. No one had. Her mother had told her not to be silly while everyone else had remained silent. She'd looked at them all one after the other in complete disbelief before standing up, grabbing a coat and storming off. She'd only been half aware of the shouts following her as she disappeared into the night.

And that was why she was here now, probably a good while later, walking in the streets of Bristol on Christmas Eve on her own. Not even the beautifully decorated houses could make her feel better this year.

She walked for a while, aimlessly it seemed. She walked and cried and when she felt like she was all cried out she started to shiver. She wasn't sure where she had ended up. The more she looked at the neighbourhood, the less sure she was that she'd ever been there before. Yet, there was something familiar about it. Something about the trees and the houses, something that felt like she knew where she was, yet her brain couldn't make the connection.

She continued to walk, sniffling often. Her heart started beating nervously at the prospect that she'd gotten lost. And just when she stared getting actually worried, she turned a corner and saw it in the distance. Small and quaint, with its light-laced ivy and brick front and wooden door. It was the pub she'd gone to with Katie the year before.

And just as soon as she saw it, Emily's feet started to walk towards it, her mind forgetting about her awful coming out for a second to think about a certain blonde she'd met in that beautiful antique looking pub.

It was quite peculiar, Emily thought, how even a year later she could still recall exactly how the blonde's lips had curved when she smiled, how her voice had arranged itself when she'd laughed and how her eyes had seemed to always contain a hint of confidence mixed in with mischief.

Emily felt herself sigh. It had been a _year_ yet she hadn't seen the girl again. She had looked for her too. You couldn't meet someone like that and _not_ look for them. The girl had piqued Emily's curiosity, that much had been certain from early on. So every day at College, Emily had looked for her, her eyes always searching, always alert. After months though, Emily had been forced to conclude that the stranger just didn't go to Roundview.

She hadn't tried to come back to that little pub looking for the blonde though. It's not that she had forgotten about the place really, but somehow, Emily had felt weird about coming back. Tonight though, it fit and as she pushed the door open and was hit with the same odour of gingerbread and hop, her heart slowed a bit. A wave of calmness washed over her and she breathed slowly.

Emily was still feeling pretty low though when she found a table and sat down. She stared at her nails for a bit, breathing in as slowly as she could to try to keep the sudden calmness she'd found by walking into the pub.

It didn't work for long. It was hard to remain calm when the only thing that came to her mind once she'd stopped running was 'now what?'. So she'd come out and her family had shoved her confession back in her face. So she'd stormed out to prove a point, to prove that she _wouldn't_ go back on her words, that she wouldn't pretend she had never said anything. But now what? What was she supposed to do?

She didn't want to go back home, not under these circumstances. She didn't want her family thinking it was all right, that all was forgotten, but she also didn't have the strength to pursue the argument. There was only so much rejection she could take in one night.

But if she didn't go home, where was she supposed to go? It wasn't like she had friends of her own that could accommodate her for the night, she thought sadly and she didn't have enough money to pay for a decent hotel.

Emily was getting a bit desperate, images of herself freezing on a park bench invading her mind, when someone interrupted her musings.

"Well hello Emily. Fancy seeing you here" a very cheeky familiar voice said.

The redhead turned around just in time to see none other than the same blonde stranger she'd met the year before slide into a seat next to her. She was just as gorgeous now as she'd been the year before, Emily thought. Her hair was a bit longer then it had been, falling to her shoulders in soft curls. Her eyes, god her _eyes_, were still this particular pale shade of blue, filled with mirth and cheekiness. There was a huge satisfied smirk plastered on her face, but the second her blue orbs properly fell onto Emily's face, her grin faded.

"Hey..." she said softly, scooting her chair closer to the redhead. "What's wrong?"

"Hi..." Emily replied weakly, bowing her head to hide the obvious tear tracks on her cheeks as much as possible.

For a few seconds, they remained silent. Emily had the impression that the blonde wasn't too sure whether she should stay or not. Somehow though, her presence made Emily feel better and the redhead was overcome with a sudden urge to make her stay.

"So huh... how have you been?" she tried asking cheerfully, her voice coming off awfully hoarse.

"I... good..." the blonde replied uncertainly.

"Oh well, great" Emily nodded, her eyes falling to her trembling fingers.

She breathed in deeply to try and control the wave of sadness that was quickly engulfing her, but when the blonde placed an uncertain hand on top of hers, a sob escaped her lips and a few tears fell down her cheeks. Emily wiped them up with the sleeve of her jacket and bowed her head lower in embarrassment as she sniffled.

"Emily..." the blonde whispered, her voice softer, calmer than Emily had ever heard. "What happened?"

"I..." she tried to explain, more sobs coming up her throat.

The blonde waited patiently, her thumb making patterns on Emily's hand as she cried. When the redhead had regained some sort of control, she tried speaking again.

"I... came out" she said sniffing as more sobs fought their way up her throat.

She bit them down stubbornly as the blonde muttered a low 'oh', her thumb stopping its motion.

"Wait here" she then instructed, before getting up and walking to the bar.

Emily wiped her tears away as she watched the other girl wave the bartender over. She couldn't believe what a loser she was being. She'd spent the entire year hoping she'd see the elusive blonde again and now, here she was, _with_ the girl and all she could do was cry. Fucking pathetic.

About a minute later, the girl came back with a pint of lager and a steaming mug. She placed the mug in front of Emily and started sipping her own drink.

"I... You don't have to do that..." Emily mumbled, her cheeks red, her eyes fixed on her hands.

"A simple thank you will suffice" the blonde brushed off easily. "Now, congratulations on coming out. Must have taken a lot of courage"

Despite herself, Emily chuckled deeply. Of all the things she had expected the other girl to say 'congratulations' hadn't been part of it.

"Why are you laughing?" the blonde asked, her familiar smirk slowly coming back onto her lips.

"Because this is just... Have you _seen_ us?" Emily continued, shaking her head in disbelief.

"I'm not sure I'm following..."

"We've met exactly once, a _year_ ago, yet here we are in a pub sitting together and I'm _crying_ and your first reflex is to congratulate me" she explained.

"Well when you put it like that" the blonde replied through a few chuckles of her own.

Emily smiled at the sight. She had to admit the blonde was a lot more beautiful when she was smiling and laughing. There was something in her eyes that just seemed to sparkle then. A bit as if there was this distant star, right behind the blue orbs and every time something made her laugh, it would light up and illuminate the girl's entire face. It was dashing, completely mesmerizing and Emily could barely look away.

She forced herself to though after a few seconds when she realised she'd been properly perving on the other girl. She set her eyes on her steaming mug instead. She grabbed it between her fingers, feeling the warmth instantly. She brought it close to her nose and inhaled deeply. It smelled of apple and cinnamon.

"It's spiced warm cider" the blonde said as Emily blew on the liquid and took a sip.

Her taste buds exploded as the hot beverage ran down her throat and seemed to fill her stomach. Emily closed her eyes and took another sip, a slow smile forming on her lips.

"I... well I thought alcohol would be a good thing and huh... warm cider is usually pretty comforting so..." she heard the girl say.

Emily opened her eyes again and locked them with blues instantly. For the first time ever, she could tell that the blonde was shy, like she wasn't too sure if she'd done a good thing or not, like she wasn't sure if she'd made Emily feel better. Somehow, that simple thought made the redhead smile sincerely.

"Thank you" she said, her voice thick with emotion.

The blonde's lips parted into a huge proud grin and Emily's heart fluttered.

"You're welcome" the girl said with a shrug. "So did you... want to talk about it? Your coming out I mean... You don't need to, but..."

Emily bit her bottom lip as the faces of her family came rushing back to her mind. She exhales shakily and licked her lips.

"I... It just didn't go so well..." She admitted.

"Right... Who did you tell?"

"My entire family..."

"Your entire family? Like... All at the same time?" the blonde asked in surprise. "Jesus! Did you like drop it in the middle of dinner or something?"

Emily blushed and nodded shyly in response.

"I just... _Christ_... It just came pouring out" she explained. "My mum was badgering me about why I had never brought a boy home and my sister just started saying how I was this difficult cow who never fancied anyone and my dad was laughing and then my mum started saying that I couldn't be _that _picky and it just felt... for a moment there I was sitting and it felt like they weren't talking about me at all, it felt like they didn't _know_ me at all... And I don't know why but something just broke inside my chest... I... I needed them to _know_. And it just... I said it"

The blonde nodded slowly, her eyes attentively watching every inch of Emily.

"Wow..." she eventually said. "Like I said, lots of courage"

"Thanks..."

"So what happened then?" The blonde inquired politely.

Emily scoffed bitterly as she remembered just exactly how her family had reacted.

"Then everything froze. They all just stared at me for a really long time before my sister said 'Don't lie Emily'. After that my dad started laughing, saying how it was such a good joke and my mum got really upset, told me I was disrupting Christmas dinner..."

"Well that's shit..." the blonde stated, looking incredulous.

"Yeah..." the redhead muttered, her throat constricting once more.

Emily didn't want to start crying again, so she grabbed her mug and took another sip. As if she could tell she needed a few minutes, the blonde didn't try to continue the conversation and instead drank as well.

"They wanted to brush it all off, you know?" Emily continued when she felt strong enough not to cry. "They wanted me to go back on what I had said so I... I just left. I couldn't go back pretending... I... I couldn't"

The girl nodded again, letting Emily drink a few more sips before speaking up.

"I think you shouldn't have to go back to being someone else. I mean, doesn't seem to be anything wrong with you, despite the fact that you stare at complete strangers with no intention of talking to them whatsoever" she teased.

Emily blushed at the comment and rolled her eyes.

"Shut up..." she shot back weakly, making the other girl laugh.

"Alright so you stormed off, then?"

"Pretty much" the redhead confirmed.

"And you found yourself here because...? You were hoping you'd run into that hauntingly beautiful blonde stranger you'd met the year before, weren't you? Thought you'd get her to buy you a drink?" she continued, her eyes flashing with mischief.

"Hauntingly beautiful? Oh my god! Bit full of yourself, aren't you?" Emily shot back with a giggle.

"I'll remind you that _you_ were the one perving on _me_! I'm just saying what I know you're thinking" the blonde said with a wink.

Emily shook her head, her cheeks hurting from trying to control her grin.

"Seriously though, why here?" the blonde asked.

"I don't know..." the redhead replied. "I just sort of found my way here... I... I guess I like it though, you know? It's... there's a vibe in this place I can't help loving... It feels _old_, but like... beautiful old"

"Beautiful old?" the girl asked, her lips curved and her eyebrow raised.

"Yeah! Like... antique, you know?"

"I'm more of a modern kind of girl" she said with a shrug.

"No!" Emily counter argued immediately. "Antiquities have _souls_. Like this bar! You can tell it's seen so much!"

"It's a bloody bar! It's not like it's _alive_" the blonde laughed.

"But it _is_! All things have souls!"

"Righttt... I think you've had enough cider..."

"Oh shut up!" Emily giggled, her cheeks red. "I just like antiques... I've _always_ liked it better... Even when I was little. Every time we'd go to my grandparents I would be _obsessed_ with their stuff, whether it was my gramps' football collection or my nana's old jewelery... I just... I like old stuff"

The blonde didn't reply anything this time, but looked at her curiously for a moment. The longer she stared, the more nervous Emily became. So nervous that she eventually felt like she had to break the silence.

"I guess I _did_ get a drink from an okay looking blonde though, so that's a bonus" she said cheekily, making the girl burst out laughing.

"Okay looking? Ouch" she replied, looking highly amused.

"Just being honest, sorry"

"Yeah, course you are" the girl replied sarcastically.

They giggled together and Emily was finally feeling good when her mobile started ringing. She picked it up frowning, her heart falling to the bottom of her stomach when she saw the word 'home' flashing across the top. Her laughter died in her throat and she quickly ignored the call. When she looked up again, the blonde was looking at her curiously.

"Are you sure you shouldn't take that?" she asked her carefully.

Emily stomach lurched uncomfortably.

"No... I don't want to talk to them..." she said bitterly.

"Maybe they're calling to apologise..." the girl suggested.

"You don't know my family!" Emily scoffed.

"No... that's true... But..."

"But what?"

"Well I know _you_... Sort of... And I just... well I just don't think you're the kind of person who can turn their back on their family"

"You've got it backwards, they're the ones turning their backs to me"

"Clearly not if they're calling you..." the blonde argued.

In that moment, Emily hated her a bit for making so much sense. She bit her bottom lip uncomfortably and when her phone started ringing again, Katie's name flashing this time, she grabbed it and stared for a second.

"Just answer Emily... Give them a chance to make it up to you" the blonde whispered softly, somewhere very close to her ear.

Emily nodded before taking in a huge breath and pressing the answering button.

"Ems?" the voice of her sister immediately came through.

The redhead had to bite hard on her bottom lip not to burst into tears as she pressed the phone against her ear. She felt a hand grab hers on the table and found encouraging blue orbs staring right into her soul, it seemed.

"Hey" she muttered back to her sister.

"Oh my god Emsy! Where are you? Please come back, mum and dad are freaking out!"

"I... I don't know if I can..."

"Look, is this about what happened a dinner? Like forget about it" Katie said quickly.

"That's the thing Kay, I don't _want_ to forget about it. I _can't_"

"Oh god you're still on about that? Please Emsy you're not _gay_, you're just being stupid"

"No" Emily interrupted her, her voice wobbling dangerously.

Somewhere between her anger, sadness and disappointment, she realised that her hand was being squeezed and she calmed down.

"Look Katie, I'm _not_ being stupid, alright?" she said firmly. "I'm gay and if you can't accept that... Well... If you can't accept that then I don't think I should come home"

There was a short silence on the other end of the line, a silence that didn't feel quite so short to Emily. She held her breath as her sister seemed to think.

"Okay" she eventually said, her voice softer, gentler than it usually was. "Okay Emsy"

"Okay?" the redhead repeated.

"Yeah, okay. Just... please come home..." the other twin whispered.

"What about mum and dad..."

"Well dad seems to have figured out it wasn't a joke and he said he didn't care who you loved as long as it made you happy" Katie started.

Emily fell her lips turn into a smile as tears of relief sprung to her eyes.

"And mum?" she said with a sniffle.

"Mum said that she was confused and that she doesn't understand it, but she also said that it's Christmas and you don't belong anywhere else than home with us. She said to tell you she's sorry she asked you to leave the table"

Emily swallowed the huge lump that had formed in her throat at her sisters words as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. They were tears of joy and relief though and when her eyes found the blonde's, her disbelieving smile morphed into a huge grin of pure glee.

"So like... are you coming home? D'you need a lift?" Katie asked a bit sheepishly.

"Yeah... yeah I'll come home" Emily said nodding along even though Katie couldn't see her. "I'll take a taxi"

"Okay!" her sister exclaimed happily. "Hurry up Bitch!"

Emily felt herself giggle in response, the insult feeling oddly comforting because of its familiarity.

"Oh and Emsy... I love you, yeah? Like... yeah..." her sister finally added, her voice filled with regret.  
"It's okay Kay. I love you too" Emily reassured.

She had never been good at being spiteful and as she hung up the phone she knew that despite how badly her family had reacted, she had already almost forgiven them.

Emily placed her mobile back into her coat pocket and the blonde let go of her hand. The redhead blushed when she realised her fingers missed the contact the second it was gone.

"So that didn't go too bad, I'm guessing?" the blonde inquired, her voice sounding a bit tight.

"No..." Emily conceded. "I mean, it's not perfect... My sister said that my mum doesn't understands it, but... well, they wanted me to come back and they're not asking me to pretend it didn't happen"

"Good thing"

"Yeah..." she agreed, getting up slowly from her seat.

Emily had expected the blonde to stand up as well, but even as she buttoned her jacket, the other girl didn't move.

"So huh..." she started shyly. "I sort of have to go..."

"I'd gathered as much" the blonde replied with a smirk.

"Right well..."

Emily stared at the other girl, unwilling to move. She knew she had to go and she _wanted_ to go in a way, but in another, she really didn't want to leave the blonde. The fact that once again Emily didn't know if she'd ever see her again wasn't helping.

"You don't go to Roundiew, right?" she asked. "Because I've never seen you there and... yeah..."

The blonde continued to smirk and looked at the redhead for a while before replying.

"I guess I can admit that no, I don't go to Roundview"

"And if I was to come back here... On another night I mean... I... would I see you there... maybe?" Emily inquired nervously.

Her smirk unwavering, the blonde shook her head slowly.

"Oh okay..." Emily replied a bit crestfallen.

"Sorry"

Emily stood there again in silence, the blonde observing her in amusement. She shifted her weight on her feet before asking:

"And I don't suppose... I don't suppose you'll tell me your name before I leave?"

The blonde chuckled this time as she shook her head.

"Why?" Emily asked her a bit dumbfounded.

"Really? You don't see the poetry in not knowing?" the blonde asked.

"Not really" the redhead admitted.

"Oh well... That's too bad then"

It was Emily's turn to shake her head. She continued to stand there for a few seconds as she slowly built up the motivation to leave. Then something in the corner of her eye caught her attention and her heart leapt in her chest.

"I... Thank you for listening to me... You really didn't have to do that" she told the blonde.

"It was nothing" the girl assured her. "I have a thing with leaving crying girls on their own anyway so..."

Emily nodded, biting her bottom lip for a second, before taking a step forward. She leaned in and pressed her lips delicately against the other girl's cheek. Her heart did a somersault in her ribcage as she caught a whiff of the blonde's perfume and as her lips took in the utter softness of the girl's skin. She lingered there perhaps a second too long before finally taking a step back.

When her eyes found the blonde's blues a second later, she noticed that they were a bit darker, a bit wider.

"What was that for?" the blonde asked with a hint of nervousness.

"Because I truly am grateful for you being there tonight... Also, mistletoe" Emily replied, pointing at the ceiling.

The blonde followed her finger until her eyes had set on a small branch of mistletoe tacked a bit clumsily to beam.

"Oh, well okay then" she said when she brought her gaze back down.

Another silence stretched between them and Emily sighed. She really had to leave.

"So I guess this is goodbye then" she said slowly, feeling like her disappointment could be heard in her voice.

"Yeah I guess..." the blonde replied.

"I... Maybe... Maybe I'll see you next year?" Emily asked uncertainly.

Her heart did an excited lurch when the blonde smiled widely and nodded.

"Yeah maybe" she said cheekily.

"Good" the redhead shot back pointedly. "Merry Christmas"

"Yeah, Merry Christmas"

When Emily turned around and walked away, she couldn't stop smiling. As she waved a taxi into the street and realised her lips were still tingling from the kiss she's placed on the blonde's cheek she figured that perhaps the girl had been right, all this mystery was making it all a bit poetic.

Still, her last thought as she climbed into the taxi was that perhaps the girl would tell her her name the next year.

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**Another one down! Please keep up the cheerleading! It's making my days! Really want to hear some feedback :) I love you all! **

**MM xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: It is late but it is not yet tomorrow! Guys, I've been so busy today! I am so sorry I couldn't post this earlier! Still, with all your love I couldn't NOT post today! Your words are making my Christmas magical and if this story is making yours just a fraction as special, then it is worth every second of it!**

**I feel like I should tell you that this is going to be a slow developing one, but then again, it is me... When have I _ever_ written anything that developed quickly? So yeah! Love you!**

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**Chapter 3: The third year**

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Emily had been picking at her Christmas pudding for an inappropriately long amount of time. She knew it wasn't polite by any means. She knew that the fact that she wasn't really listening to her mother's anecdote was far more impolite. Yet, she couldn't stop sticking her forks into the thing and she couldn't, for the life of her, pay attention to her mother's words.

"Emily stop picking at your food" the voice of Jenna, her mother, brought her back to reality.

"Sorry mum..." she whispered sheepishly as she placed her fork next to her plate.

Her mother gave her a pointed look before continuing her story. A second later, she felt Katie kick her under the table and when she brought her gaze up to meet her twin's, she had to bite down hard on her bottom lip to keep her laughter in check for Katie had given her a perfect replica of their mother's pointed stare.

Both Katie and her stared at their plates hard, tears forming at the corner of their eyes as they tried not to laugh out loud. She should have felt guilty in a way, Emily thought. It was Christmas Eve after all, the first Christmas dinner since Katie and she had started University in London. Her mother had gone a bit mental, cooking so much extra food that Emily felt sure they'd have managed to feed the entire neighbourhood.

She guessed she could understand her mother's excitement though. It had been at least two months since they'd come home and even she had been starting to feel a bit homesick. No matter how homesick she was though, you could only take so much family stories in one sitting.

"Then Charlene brought me the avocado mask instead of the cucumber one, can you believe that?" Jenna finished.

Noises of fake interest resounded around the table and her mother looked satisfied.

"So tells us , Katie dear, have you met a nice boy in London?" their mother asked, taking a spoonful of pudding as she regarded her daughter.

"Yeah well, there are a few lush ones, but one special..." Katie replied vaguely.

Emily grinned knowingly. Her sister had found a few guys to her liking alright. There was rarely a week when she didn't have date and the redhead had heard her sister at it way more often than was necessary in the past few months. Of course, Katie wasn't about to admit that to their mother.

They continued to eat in silence for a bit, but Emily could tell her mother wasn't done with the questions. Sure enough, about a minute later, Jenna lifted her gaze and stared at her.

"What about you Emily? Have you met any... well... someone?" she finished.

Emily fought the urge to roll her eyes. She knew her mother was making efforts, she really did. If this conversation had happened a year ago, there was no way her mother would have even asked. She'd have most likely avoided the subject entirely or maybe she'd have done the denial thing and asked Emily if she too had met a nice boy. In any case, she sure as hell wouldn't have asked her if she'd met someone, knowing full well what that 'someone' implied.

So yeah, perhaps her mother still couldn't ask her outright if she'd met a girl, perhaps her mother was still a bit stiff about that, but at least she wasn't trying to pretend her daughter was straight and Emily had to be grateful about that.

"Not really no" she replied offhandedly.

She heard Katie scoff in front of her and Emily glared at her. Of course her sister was completely undeterred. She raised her eyebrow real high in response to Emily's glare as if to challenge her to argue. When she didn't, Katie plastered an annoying little satisfied smirk on her face and Emily rolled her eyes again.

Okay so, sure, she hadn't been abstinent this past year. Could she really be blamed though? She was young, single and as it turned out quite popular with women. She wasn't sure if it was the red cherry hair or the button nose or just the confidence she'd gained in the past year, but there definitely was something that was making women gravitate towards her. She couldn't say she was complaining.

Despite it though, Emily hadn't lied to her mother. She _hadn't_ met anyone, not really. She'd dated all kinds of girls. She'd dated a painter from Marseilles who had the most beautiful hands she'd ever seen. She'd dated a fashion obsessed diva from Brighton who was fit as fuck, but a total drama queen. She'd even dated a sporty girl from Canada who just seemed to eat everything with an alarming amount of maple syrup.

They'd been fine, they'd been nice even, but they hadn't been special. They had made her smile, they had made her laugh and they had made her want to spend entire days without getting out of bed or getting dressed, but that had been it. None of them had made her chest explode with feelings. None of them had made her entire body tingle from her toes to the tip of her fingers. None of them had made her want to just stay silent for hours and just _look_.

Also, none of them had made her _mad_, made her want to rip their head off only to snog them forcefully afterwards. And really wasn't that what love was supposed to be? Wasn't love supposed to be this force, this completely indescribable thing that made you feel like you had been pushed off a cliff and were now falling? Wasn't love not knowing if your fall would end in crushing pain, but enjoying that blissful freefall feeling nonetheless?

Maybe she was an idealist, maybe her conception of that feeling she'd never even felt before was completely off, but one thing was clear to her and it was that those girls just hadn't been it.

Emily didn't know if she'd find it. Maybe one day she'd realise that this had been as good as it gets, but that day wasn't today. Today, she was young enough to dream of something more.

They finished dinner shortly after that, Jenna seemingly satisfied enough to stop her interrogation. Emily had a feeling her mother had actually been relieved that she hadn't met anyone. That way, Emily wasn't about to bring anyone home to meet the family.

When there no longer was any food left on the table, Emily's dad disappeared into the sitting room to turn on the telly. As subtly as possible, James followed him meanwhile Katie and Emily helped their mother clean up. It was a bit old school, Emily guessed, but Christmas dinners had been this way since she'd been a little girl.

As a woman, maybe she should have been offended, but when Katie turned on the radio in the kitchen and all three of them started singing along to the Christmas songs as they washed the dishes, she reckoned some things didn't deserve her offense.

This was how Emily preferred her mother anyway; cheeks red from drinking Sherry and hair messy from dancing, a permanent smile on her face as she sang loudly with her two daughters. Things rarely were this good at the Fitches.

Once everything was cleaned up, Jenna urged her daughters to go to the sitting room as she went upstairs to freshen up a bit.

Emily walked into the room and let herself fall onto the couch next to her dad. He lifted his arm instinctively and she cuddled up to him. Katie sat on the other end of the couch, her back straight and her legs crossed, texting on her mobile. James, for his part, was sprawled on the floor, flipping some magazines, not a care in the world.

They were still like that when Jenna joined them, sitting on the remaining chair, her glass of Sherry refilled. They watched telly together like that, no one talking, everyone at ease, and it was nice, it really was. The year before had been so horrible that Emily hadn't expected this year to be so sweet, so _typical_. Yet, it was all that.

Perhaps that's why she felt so guilty when the urge to leave gripped her heart.

It wasn't that she suddenly couldn't take her family anymore. It wasn't that suddenly she wasn't comfortable. Not at all. The real problem was that as typical and familiar and nice as tonight felt, Emily couldn't help thinking about the year before and how she'd found solace in another place.

She'd been lost and upset and she'd found that pub and everything had changed. She'd felt safe there, she'd felt good. And as much as she loved her home, she couldn't forget that little quaint pub that had replaced it the year before.

Of course, the fact that a really fit blonde Emily kind of longed to see would possibly be there was also making her want to leave.

Again, another year had passed and the redhead had seen no sign of the blonde anywhere. She'd hoped foolishly perhaps, that they'd run into each other. She day dreamed about it sometimes actually. She'd be walking down the street or walking into a store and just like that she'd bump into the blonde, sometimes literally, sometimes not.

In her day dreams, the blonde was always pleased to see her. In her dreams, she had that cheeky smile and those brilliant eyes and she'd set them on Emily and she'd ask her out or something. Sometimes she would tell the redhead her name, sometimes she wouldn't. More often than not, she'd keep it quiet, but Emily reckoned her day dreams happened that way because she just couldn't figure what the blonde's _real_ name was.

Because Emily could imagine, but nothing seemed to fit. So after a while of mental guessing, she'd just stopped imagining a name for the blonde at all. It worked just as well in her head.

Some days, Emily wondered whether she actually _fancied_ the blonde or if it was just a side effect of the context they always found each other in. Maybe it was a bit of both.

It didn't really matter in the end. It didn't change the fact that she could feel the urge of going o the pub, of seeing _her_, build inside her chest.

Emily licked her lips and fidgeted uncomfortably. Would it be that rude to just go?

She waited a bit longer until she really couldn't take it.

"Hey Kay... D'you want to go get a drink or something?" she asked a bit uncertainly.

Her sister lifted her gaze from her mobile and looked at her curiously.

"Like now?" she asked.

"Yeah..."

"Yeah okay, sure"

"You girls are leaving?" her dad interrupted, sounding a bit disappointed.

Guilt squeezed at Emily's heart, but she shrugged it off.

"Just for a couple of hours... We'll be back tomorrow morning for tea and presents" she explained.

"Of course you will!" her father replied indignantly. "You're not allowed to miss it" he joked.

"We wouldn't" Katie reassured.

"Is it okay with you, mum?"

"I suppose... Just don't come back too late"

"Great! Thanks" Emily exclaimed happily, pressing her lips to her father's cheek and getting up.

They walked to their bedroom together and the minute they were in, Emily walked to the duffle bag of clothes she'd brought.

"I'm going to take a shower" Katie announced.

"No! Don't! It'll take hours!" Emily whined.

"Bitch! I'm not going out looking like a slob"

"You look _fine_. Just change if you want but don't take a shower, yeah? Anyway I thought we'd go to that pub we went to, like... two years ago..."

"What? Urgh, _no_! I'm going back downstairs" Katie scoffed, starting to walk away.

"Katie don't!" Emily shouted, grabbing her by the arm. "Come on, it wasn't that bad"

"It was _your_ type of place, not mine"

"So? Please? You pulled the last time you were there, didn't you?"

"Well _duh_! I can pull anywhere" Katie said with an eye roll.

"Yeah, but... whatever that guy's name was, he was cute, no? Took you on nice dates, no?"

"True... He was a bit shit in bed, mind..." her sister mused.

"Well I'm sure you can choose your bloke more carefully this year. You've had plenty of time to train for it in London after all" Emily teased.

"Don't even start, cow! Like _you've_ not had any fun..." Katie defended, a big smirk on her lips.

She seemed to hesitate for a few more seconds, but there was a glint in her eye and Emily knew then that she had won.

"Alright, but we're not staying late and I'm changing!" she eventually relented and Emily cheered.

"Cheers Kay" she said, kissed her twin's cheek and was off to get changed herself.

It must have been about half an hour later that they finally arrived at the pub. It was just as cute and Christmassy as it had been the two years before. Emily grinned widely as they walked towards the door, her heart beating hard in nervousness.

When they stepped inside, her eyes travelled around the crowd and although there were quite a few blondes present, none of them were the one she was looking for. She was a bit disappointed as she walked with Katie to the bar, but she knew the blonde stranger- _her_ blonde stranger, her brain decided- was a sneaky one. She'd be there, Emily knew she would.

So she drank with her sister and she didn't let it bother her. She even joined in when a bloke started hitting on Katie and then invited them to join his group.

As the night advanced though, Emily grew a bit nervous. There had to be about an hour left before the pub's closing time and there was still no sign of the blonde. Maybe she'd been a bit too confident that the other girl would show. The girl had never promised her she would be there, after all.

With that new thought in head, Emily walked to the bar feeling a bit dejected. She glanced around the pub, not seeing the blonde and turned back to wave the bartender over with a sigh.

She had just placed her order when she felt a presence behind her.

"Were you looking for someone?" a voice asked her.

A huge smile appeared on Emily's face as she recognised the voice easily. Sure enough, when she turned around she was greeted by the blonde's sparkling blue eyes and her cheeky smile. Obviously, she was proud of herself for having surprised Emily.

The redhead bit her lip as she took in the other girl, still as fucking stunning as ever, her body lithe and long and firm.

"Well, I was looking for this hauntingly beautiful blonde" Emily began, noticing the girl's smirk widen. "But I guess she didn't show because I can't see her anywhere"

The blonde laughed loudly, her giggles melodious and infectious. Emily laughed along with her for a bit. When they stopped, the blonde's smirk turned into a much softer smile, a _pleased_ smile, as if she was just as happy to see Emily as Emily was to see her. Something deep inside the redhead's chest fluttered and she bit her lip again.

"I have to say, you're looking much happier this year" the blonde said. "Happiness looks really good on you"

There was something in her voice, something so honest and so simple that Emily blushed.

"Thanks" Emily replied. "And how are you miss poetic?"

"I'm good"

"Good"

They both grinned stupidly at each other, their eyes never breaking contact until the bartender arrived with Emily's drink. The blonde paid for it swiftly, brushing off the redhead's complaint with a wave of her eyebrow and ordered something for herself.

They didn't really say anything until the drink got there, but they did decide to sit at the bar. Emily had no desire to get back to her sister and, anyway, Katie was too busy flirting to care about her twin's whereabouts.

"So how's the lesbian life working for you then?" the blonde asked cheekily, taking a sip of her drink.

"Splendidly, thank you very much" Emily replied coyly.

"That sounds like someone has been busy..."

"Maybe..." she replied mysteriously. "Why? D'you mind?"

"No, why? Do you _want_ me to mind?" the blonde shot back easily.

They stared at each other, eyes flashing, sparks flying. Emily couldn't believe how quickly they'd fallen into their flirting pattern. She also couldn't believe how quickly her heart was beating. How could someone she'd met a grand total of three times now make her feel so much by doing so little.

"In my defence, London is full of really fantastic looking girls" Emily eventually said.

"You moved to London?" the blonde asked in surprise.

"Yeah, moved there for Uni. Why? Are _you_ living in London?" she shot back, hoping the girl would actually answer.

Of course, that wasn't her type at all.

"Maybe..." she replied mysteriously.

"Why don't you ever answer any of my questions?" the redhead inquired.

"It's poetic" the blonde said with a shrug and a huge teasing grin.

"Fuck off" Emily chuckled, shoving her lightly on the shoulder.

The blonde laughed and Emily dragged her hand close to her stomach, her fingers tingling.

"So what are you studying in Uni then?" the girl questioned after a beat.

Emily grinned and shook her head.

"If I don't get to know anything about you, you don't get to know anything more about me" she said smartly.

"Fair enough" the girl replied, looking a lot more pleased then Emily would have thought. "Let's talk about something neutral then, yeah? Music?"

"Okay" the redhead agreed.

And just like that, they started talking. They laughed and talked and drank and for a bit, Emily forgot there was anything else. She got lost in the other girl's speech, in the way she phrased her sentences, in the way words sounded in her mouth. She got lost a bit deeper every time the blonde said her name and every time she gave her a sparkling smile. She got lost and for a while there, she forgot that getting lost was usually a bad thing. Because if getting lost included that beautiful blonde, it was quite alright actually.

But of course, all too soon, the lights flashed around them and they were found. A few seconds later, Katie was walking up to her.

"Emsy, the pub's closing" she said, barely shooting a glance in the blonde's direction.

"Emsy?" the girl said, her voice dripping with amusement.

"Shut up!" Emily told her, grinning.

Katie, on the other hand, looked at her with a sceptical eye.

"Who the fuck are you?" she asked without preamble.

"A hauntingly beautiful blonde" the girl replied smoothly.

Emily chuckled loudly as Katie frowned. When her twin looked at her with a 'is this girl serious?' face, Emily rolled her eyes.

"You can call her Renée Vivien" she said smartly, delighted when the blonde laughed loudly next to her.

Katie looked at her as if she'd sprouted a second head before shaking her head in disbelief.

"You lezzers flirt in the weirdest fucking way" she said grumpily. "I'll catch a cab and wait for you outside. Wrap this up quickly, bitch"

Emily nodded before turning back to the blonde.

"Interesting personality" the girl commented.

"Yeah, she's well colourful" Emily shot back.

They looked at each other and sighed almost in unison.

"I guess this is goodbye then?" the blonde said, looking a bit sad.

"Yeah... I... I enjoyed our chat. Thanks"

"I enjoyed it too" the girl told her sincerely.

"Maybe we should do it again next year..." Emily suggested.

"Yeah... I think I'd be up for that..." the blonde agreed to the redhead's surprise, but delight.

"Great! Well, see you then. Merry Christmas" she said, before grabbing her coat to leave.

"What, that's it? You're not going to kiss me this year?" the blonde teased her cheekily.

"In your dreams" Emily said with more bravado than she felt, her cheeks reddening. "Besides, there's no mistletoe..."

"That's too bad..." the blonde said, her voice low.

Emily gulped and nodded. She was really tempted in that moment to lean in and kiss the blonde, but she had a feeling that somehow, it wasn't right. Somehow it would be like letting the blonde win. Ever since they had met, the other girl had always seemed to be a step ahead of her and Emily wanted to change that. So instead of kissing her, like she felt sure the blonde was expecting, she nodded and started to leave.

"Hey Emily" the girl called after her.

"Yeah?" the redhead replied, turning around.

"Hang on" she said, getting up as well and walking towards her.

Emily's heart beat furiously as the girl's perfume invaded her. Then, the blonde leaned in slowly and despite all she'd told herself about not letting her be right, not letting her win, Emily felt her eyes close.

She knew she'd been once again one step behind in their little dance though when she heard the girl giggle softly and felt her move past her lips. Then, Emily felt her breath on her ear and she shivered.

"Just in case you were still wondering... My name is Naomi. Merry Christmas"

And with that she was leaning back, sending the redhead a last victorious smirk before walking away. Emily looked at her go for what felt like a full minute, before snapping herself out of it and walking towards the exit.

When she found Katie there waiting for her, she was still grinning.

"Got you goodnight kiss, lezzer?" her sister asked.

"No" Emily replied with a shrug, her smile still as big.

"You look awfully pleased for someone who didn't get a good snog..." Katie shot back dubiously.

"It's not always about kissing, Kay..."

"Right... anyway, who was she?"

Emily's eyes shined and her heart lurched in her chest.

"Naomi... She was Naomi..." she replied softly.

Sometimes, being a step behind wasn't such a bad thing.

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**We've got a name! Yay :P Now I shall leave you to your night! Enjoy it. Cherish Christmas for it is my favourite holiday ever! (Or you know cherish your own special 'this-time-of-the-year-holiday). I am off to go work on the next chapter :D **

**MM xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: These are getting later! And sadly a bit shorter! **

**I'm sorry about both of those things! In my defense, it's honestly extremely hard to write a chapter every day! XD I don't want to give up though because you guys are too incredible! I mean I do know what each year sort of includes so it's not impossible, it's just hard! **

**This is the roughest version of a chapter there can be! I've just finished it so it's probably horrendously filled with mistakes! I'm sorry about that, but I really wanted to get it to you sooner rather than later!**

**Keep being fantastic human beings!**

**Oh, you'll see some of you have inspired me this chapter! Proof that I do read all the reviews and absolutely LOVE them! :D**

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**Chapter 4: The fourth year**

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Emily liked to think that she was a fairly spontaneous person. She had never really been one for plans to begin with, she prided herself in being always willing to experiment new things and she was always ready to go on a random adventure.

Despite all that, when a car containing some of hers and Katie's Uni mates stopped in front of her house on Christmas Eve, she was a bit shocked. They had just finished cleaning up after dinner when her mobile rang. Emily had looked at the phone, frowning uncertainly when she had seen the name 'James Cook' flashing.

The thing about James Cook was that he was quite a lot of trouble. Sure, he was fun and quite entertaining in his own special way. Sure he inspired laughter with his trademark dirty polo t-shirt, his boyish grin and ruffled sandy blonde hair, but that didn't stop him from usually putting them in all sorts of trouble.

The funniest thing was that even though Katie and Emily usually thought of him as a 'University friend', the boy didn't actually attend University. In fact, when she stopped to think about it, Emily didn't even know how they had ended up meeting him, let alone befriending him.

Emily was sure they'd started seeing him at parties first. Partying seemed to be, after all, the boy's main activity in life. She didn't know for sure, but she still suspected that their meeting and subsequent friendship was probably Freddie's fault. After all, the two boys had been best mates since elementary school. It was only logical.

Freddie was a tall boy with dark hair, dark eyes and olive skin that Emily had met one day in one of her classes. She had thought that he seemed to be a nice enough guy if only a bit dopy at times, but she hadn't really thought they'd end up actual friends. Of course though, when she had ran into him at a coffee shop one morning and had waved at him, Katie had gawked. She'd made it quite clear then that Emily needed to introduce them.

That was how they'd ended up talking more and somehow, some time after that, they had started talking to Cook as well. In retrospective, Emily couldn't say she regretted it. They were a nice duo- who apparently had been a trio up until the last member of their 'men gang' had decided to go to Cambridge. From all she'd heard about this third friend, JJ, Emily thought he sounded like a really adorable boy. She had never met him though.

"Emilioooo!" Cook had yelled into the phone the minute Emily had put it against her ear.

"Christ Cook, you're going to make me deft!" she had replied with a chuckle.

"Come outside, me favourite lezzer!" he had continued forcefully, ignoring the petite woman's response.

"What?" she had replied, confused as hell.

"Come outside!" He'd repeated. "Oh and bring that sexy twin of yours. No man and woman left out tonight!"

Emily had rolled her eyes even if he couldn't see her. She'd grabbed her sister as he'd requested though and when they'd stepped outside, they had seen them, Cook, Freddie and Effy, all sat into some old blue station wagon, sloppy grins plastered on their faces.

"Emilio! Katikins!" Cook had greeted them, throwing his arms in the air from the car's window.

"Jesus Christ Cook! How did you get our address?" Emily had demanded, dumbfounded.

"Yeah, how?!" Katie had said as well, looking a bit alarmed.

"Chillax babes, both of ya! I didn't know, did I? But apparently Effy did, dincha love?" He'd explained pointing at the girl sitting behind the steering wheel.

Even if neither Katie nor Emily had any clue how the girl had gotten their address, they weren't that surprised this time. Knowing their address without either of them having told her was definitely the sort of thing that made Effy... well Effy.

They'd met Effy at the end of the previous year. It was Katie this time who had met the ridiculously elusive brunette. Effy was everything her sister would have looked for in a friend when they were in College, but she'd still been surprised when Katie had introduced them. She'd been even more surprised when they had introduced Effy to the two boys and both of them had seemed to take a fancy to her. Emily had expected her sister to be jealous, but apparently she'd thought wrong.

Actually, the two girls had seemed to get along so well that Emily had suspected them of shagging at one point. It's not that she had ever thought her sister could be bisexual or something, but there really was something uncanny about her friendship with the brunette. Apparently though, she'd been wrong. She had confronted Katie about it once and her sister had laughed. She'd told Emily to stop imagining lezzers everywhere and they'd moved on.

"Okay... So, what exactly are you doing here n Christmas Eve? I thought you guys were in Cardiff" Emily had asked them.

"Well yes, but as it turns out, Freds' old man was being a dick, Effy's mum was drunk off her tits and mine was her usual fucker self, so we decided to ditch those party and make our own little Christmas celebration. What d'you say?"

"What do you mean our own celebration?" Katie had asked.

"I mean full on, pub crawl, drinking frenzy, Christmas thing, don't I? Come on girls!"

Katie had looked at Emily hesitantly for a bit until Cook had groaned and rolled her eyes.

"Come _on_!" he'd insisted. "It'll be _memorable_ I promise ya! Besides, I stole me mum's credit card. Party is on her tonight..."

Katie had grinned widely before throwing her sister a look Emily knew meant she'd been won over.

"Well why didn't you say that first?" She'd said, sealing the deal.

And that was how they'd found themselves packed into an old station wagon, listening to Motörhead, Cook bellowing at the top of his lungs. They had parked the car eventually and had began what would be one hell of a night.

At the first pub, Cook had bought them all rounds of tequila shots along with drinks. Emily had tried to be reasonable, she'd _tried_ to control her drinking. The thing was, she didn't want to get too drunk in case it made her forget that here was _one_ pub she really needed to get to tonight. Even if, like every year before that, Emily hadn't seen Naomi again, it didn't stop her from wanting to meet up.

There was just something about their little tradition that was getting to Emily. It wasn't like it was official, it wasn't like Emily still genuinely expected this weird friendship to turn into one that was a bit less _occasional_. Despite all that, she really did want to see the blonde. So what if it was only a Christmas thing? She enjoyed the other girl's company and she didn't want to go another year without it. Actually, she couldn't bear the thought.

So yeah, because she had wanted to keep some of her wits, Emily hadn't wanted to get too inebriated. Of course, as noble as that resolution had been, it hadn't lasted long.

After perhaps the third pub they'd walked into, Katie had gotten mad at her.

"What the fuck is up with you? Quit being a boring cow and just _drink_, will you?" She'd said.

Emily hadn't wanted to listen to her, but then Effy had walked up to her, an enigmatic smile on her face.

"Hey Ef" Emily had greeted.

The brunette hadn't even bothered to answer, walking closer still to the redhead, her smirk firmly set. She'd settled somewhere behind Emily, her thin arm circling around her, her long fingers opening to reveal a lone pink pill.

"Ef, no... I don't..." she said shyly, but had stopped when the other girl had giggled, her breath falling on Emily's ear.

"What are you afraid of Emily?" Effy had tease.

"Nothing..." the redhead had defended, her heart beating loudly in her chest.

"Then let go..." she'd whispered softly.

And Emily had. She'd grabbed the pill and had swallowed it and that had been that. It was around maybe that time that the night had taken a much fuzzier turn. Her surroundings had started spinning almost instantly, her senses had tripled, her heart had accelerated and her head had gotten heavy.

Still, somehow, Emily had found herself guiding their little group right into the one place she really longed to be.

And that's where she was now. How long they had been there though, Emily had no clue. Still, she was feeling rather good, her lips fixed into a contented smile, a mug of hot cider in her hands. She took a sip and hummed to herself, her entire body warming up, her entire brain screaming comfort and _Naomi_.

_Naomi_, she thought fuzzily. What a really pretty name. It fitted her poetic blonde perfectly. Like beauty, beauty fitted her blonde perfectly, she reckoned. She started giggling on her own. Where _was _her blonde?

"Someone looks a tiny bit intoxicated" a voice muttered into her ear.

Emily turned around, feeling like her entire chest had expanded.

"Naomi!" she exclaimed loudly as her eyes met the other girl.

The blonde looked at her with wide eyes and a completely shocked look on her face.

"Scratch that, someone is really fucking intoxicated!" she corrected giggling.

"Not that bad" Emily said, with what she thought was a casual shrug.

Her head spun though and she lost her footing.

"Jesus!" the blonde exclaimed as she grabbed the redhead by the arms to keep her on her feet.

Emily giggled loudly, her hands grabbing Naomi's biceps. She giggled louder when her brain registered how firm they felt.

"Okay, mayybee" she conceded.

The blonde looked at her doubtfully and Emily let her. Her own eyes started to roam Naomi's face, taking it all in, her heart beating loudly when everything felt so familiar.

"Your eyes are really blue, d'you know that?" she said lazily.

"Urh... yeah..."

"But like, _pale_ blue. Like... like... like _pale_ _blue_ blue, yeah?"

"Oh my god... how much have you had to drink?" Naomi chuckled.

"Just like... Oh and you've got a scar on the side of your nose, had you noticed?" she continued, her vision getting a bit blurrier.

"Yeah... It's a remnant of chickenpox..." the blonde replied.

"Oh my _God_!" Emily exclaimed her eyes becoming wide. "Have you just revealed something about yourself?!"

Naomi looked dumbfounded for a moment and then she started chuckling.

"I guess I have..."

"Wow! We need to celebrate! Let's do a _shot_!" Emily said happily.

"I think you've had enough..." the blonde told her.

"Nones- _Shit_!" the redhead started, just before her legs wobbled and she fell into Naomi's arms again.

She locked her fingers behind the blonde's neck to keep herself from falling.

"Ems?" the blonde inquired softly. "Are you okay?"

Emily's heart fluttered and she grinned sloppily at the nickname. She lifted herself back up, leaving her fingers behind Naomi's neck. Her eyes racked over the other girl's face, her breath a bit laboured.

"You're real, aren't you?" she asked, her voice low.

"What?" Naomi giggled.

"You're real, yeah? I mean, you're not some stupidly attractive Christmas ghost, yeah?" she asked genuinely curious.

The blonde laughed hard and shook her head.

"You think I could be a Christmas ghost?" she teased, sounding the most _Naomi_ she had all night.

"Or a Christmas angel" Emily confirmed with a nod.

Naomi's lips curved into a satisfied smile, then, her grip hardening on Emily's waist, she leaned in. She let her nose drag along the redhead's cheek and Emily shivered, her fingers twitching on her neck. She brought her face closer, her nose almost touching the blonde's skin, her senses filled with her perfume.

"Do I feel like a ghost?" the blonde asked directly in Emily's ear.

"Sometimes you do..." the redhead replied her voice shaking.

Naomi giggled in her ear.

"I'm not a ghost Emily" she said.

"Promise?"

"Promise, I'm very real" she said through another chuckle.

"Good..." Emily grinned. "In that case, come meet my friends!"

She tried to step away, but the minute she let go of Naomi, everything spun out of control and she crumpled to the ground.

"Emily!" the blonde exclaimed.

"S'okay..." she tried to brush off. "I'm good..." she continued, trying to get up.

Her stomach had lurched during the fall though and she wasn't feeling so good anymore. Her head felt heavy and she couldn't see anything properly. She tried to squint to find some focus, but it didn't work. That's when the panic hit, gripping at her heart, terrifyingly overwhelming.

"Na... Naomi..." she whined, her voice a bit shrill. "Naomi, Naoms, are you there?"

She couldn't see her anymore, she couldn't see anything or anyone and she was panicking. Her heart was feeling like it was about to explode, her stomach tied in knots.

"Emily, Ems! I'm right here" a voice muttered in her ear, a strong arm grabbing her around the waist.

She felt her body being lifted, but she still couldn't see. She could feel Naomi's perfume though so she cling onto the body that was carrying her, breathing with difficulty.

She focused on placing one foot in front of the other and then, suddenly, everything was much colder. For the first time in a while, she noticed she was actually hot, ridiculously so. She could feel the sweat on her forehead now, her vision slowly clearing up, her lungs filling up on fresh air.

A minute later, she blinked and saw concerned blue eyes looking at her.

"Are you feeling better?" Naomi asked her, her voice definitely not as confident as usual.

Emily blinked a few more times, licking her lips slowly. Her breathing had slowed back down now and she could see. They were standing outside, Naomi and her, just beside the pub's main door. She nodded slowly.

"Yeah... thanks..." she said, closing her eyes, feeling like the weight of her body had tripled.

She slid down the wall and sat on the cold snowy ground.

"Ems?" Naomi asked.

"Humm?" she hummed, her eyes still closed.

"Ems..." the blonde repeated, her hand finding the redhead's cheek.

Emily let her draw pattern on her cheek. She opened her eyes though when she felt the girl's fingers brush aside her fringe.

"Hey..." Naomi muttered when their eyes met. "You okay?"

"Not... I don't know..." she replied truthfully.

Her heart was still feeling weird, her body so warm although she could feel the cold wind on her cheeks. Naomi placed a hand on her forehead.

"You're boiling..." she assessed, worry evident in her voice.

"You're worried?" Emily said, a slow smirk forming on her lips.

"Yes, I am" Naomi admitted, a frown forming on her face.

Emily lifted a hand and dragged her fingers on the blonde's frown.

"Don't worry..." she said.

"What did you take?" the blonde ignored, sounding upset now.

"I... I don't know..." Emily replied sheepishly.

"What do you mean, you don't know?" she asked, her voice curt.

"I just.. Ef gave me a pill and I..." she babbled, her eyes filling with tears. "I'm sorry..."  
"Woh Ems! Hey, don't cry" Naomi muttered, her voice no longer cold and angry. "Emily..."

She raced her hand on the redhead's cheek again, her thumb brushing a tear away when it fell from Emily's eye.

"It's okay... Don't cry" she said, her blue eyes sparkling so bright.

"But... I've ruined Christmas..." she said, her bottom lip trembling.

Naomi's face broke into a smile and she giggled.

"Gosh, you're adorable..." she mused, looking at the redhead with so much affection that Emily's heart thumped loudly.

"I'm sorry..." the petite woman repeated.

"It's okay, don't worry about it" Naomi reassured her.

Emily tried to nod, but she stopped when a searing pain shot through her head. She winced and closed her eyes for a second.

"This isn't how I wanted Christmas to go..." she eventually said when she opened her eyes again.

"How did you wanted it to go?" Naomi asked.

"I wanted to get to know you..." she admitted.

The blonde smiled at her cheekily.

"Well you _did_ learn a few things..." she said with a shrug.

"No I didn't..." Emily argued.

"Of course you did! You learned that I had chickenpox as a kid and that I'm not a ghost. Better than nothing right?" she laughed.

"I guess..." the redhead replied. "I wanted to learn more serious things about you though..."

Naomi looked at her hesitantly for a few seconds, her teeth chewing on her bottom lip.

"You did... you did learn something serious and important" she whispered, looking at anything, but Emily's eyes, her cheeks reddening. "You learned that I worry about you..."

Emily contemplated her in amazement for a long time after she blonde had admitted that. She waited patiently for Naomi to finally meet her eyes. When the girl finally did, she gulped slowly.

"You're right. I did learn something important this year..." she muttered.

Naomi blushed harder and Emily stared in wonder. It was a really weird look for the usually so confident blonde.

"Will I... Will I learn more next year?" she asked tentatively.

"Yeah... Okay" Naomi agreed with a smirk.

Emily beamed.

"So I really haven't ruined our Christmas Eve tradition?" she said in astonishment.

The blonde chuckled.

"Our Christmas Eve tradition, eh? Have our meetings turned into a tradition?" she pondered out loud.

"I think so, yeah" Emily said with a firm nod.

"Then I guess you haven't ruined our tradition" Naomi finished with a wide smile.

They looked at each other for a bit after that, no one adding anything, Naomi's fingers still caressing the redhead's cheek softly. It was so nice and tender, so different. Emily was loving it though. She never wanted it to end and, of course, as soon as she thought that, it did.

"Emily?!" Katie's alarmed voice resounded into the night.

She heard Naomi sigh and the next second, Katie was appearing before her.

"Oh my God Emsy! Are you alright?!"

"Yeah... just a bit tired..."

"What happened? Did she hurt you?!" Katie continued, throwing Naomi a glare.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" the blonde scoffed in surprise, sounding a bit offended.

"No! Gosh Kay! She took _care_ of me!"

"Oh... okay then..." her sister said slowly. "In that case... thanks, _I guess_"

"You're welcome..." Naomi replied sarcastically, with an eye roll.

Emily saw her get up on her feet and her heart tugged painfully inside her chest.

"You should take her home" the blonde told her sister roughly. "Merry Christmas Ems" she then added, her voice back to its softer tones.

"Merry Christmas" Emily replied right away. "Thank you for taking care of me..."

"No problem" Naomi said sincerely that time.

"See you next year" the redhead said.

"Yeah, see you" the other girl confirmed, before giving her one last smile and walking away.

Emily watched her walk away until she couldn't see her anymore. Somewhere inside her brain, she was aware that Katie was talking to her, but she didn't pay attention, couldn't bring herself to care.

Naomi cares about me, she thought happily. And that was all that mattered.

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**So yeah, Naomi is not a Christmas ghost/angel! Although I thought the idea was lovely! :D I will do my best to get the next chapter earlier tomorrow! In all honesty it has to be done earlier because I'm going snowboarding in the evening!**

**Love you all, thank you forever and ever!**

**MM xxx**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: I really tried! :( Man I'm sad I didn't manage to post yesterday! I swear to you all I tried so hard! But yeah I just couldn't find enough time! I really want to wrap this tale up on Christmas though so I'll try to find a way to update twice at one point... Maybe once in the morning once late at night, but yeah! I am motivated and you guys are the best cheerleaders!**

**Warning: rough version again because I don't have time to re-read myself. So yeah, sorry for all the silly mistakes!**

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**Chapter 5: The fifth year **

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The streets were just as bright and decorated as ever. The air was cool, a very small breeze blowing. There was barely any snow, just a very thin layer covering the grass and houses. It was a Christmas Eve just like there had been many before.

As she walked, her hands deep inside her pockets, her knitted hat on top of her red hair, Emily could see families inside their houses celebrating together and she could hear in the distance some adventurous Christmas carol singers. It was the perfect temperature for walking outside, it was the perfect time, the perfect ambience to be filled with the joy of Christmas and despite that, she wasn't feeling it.

It wasn't so much that she wasn't feeling very Christmassy or that there was something _wrong_ with Christmas this year though. By all means, she had had a really nice Christmas Eve dinner with her family earlier that she had enjoyed a lot.

Everyone had been on their best behaviours, even James who had a tendency to say the weirdest things. Katie had brought along her brand new boyfriend, a bloke named Jeremy who was actually rather decent, and both her parents had surprisingly been warm, friendly and welcoming.

Admittedly, it wasn't a weird behaviour coming from their father who usually trusted his daughters' judgement when it came to partner, but coming from their mother, it had been quite a shock.

But even Emily couldn't argue that Jenna had been positively charming and very acceptant of Jeremy. The redhead had almost choked on her stew when her mum had turned to her and asked:

"What about you Emsy love? When are you going to bring a lovely girlfriend home?"

They'd all stared, wide-eyed at the woman for a beat until Emily had asked a strangled:

"Christ mum, how much Sherry have you had?"

Katie had sniggered and Jenna had rolled her eyes.

"_Emily_!" she'd chastised. "Am I not allowed to ask questions about my daughter's love life?"

"I... sure! I mean I just didn't..." she'd babbled. "Sorry mum... And huh... I don' know actually... Haven't met anyone that special yet"

"Oh well, it's all a matter of time. A girl pretty like you, you're bound to find someone" Jenna had said happily.

Emily had turned to her sister, her face clearly wondering what the hell was going on with their mum. Katie had shrugged, clearly just as surprised as Emily and that had been that. After dinner, they had settled into the sitting room like they always did and they'd watched telly for a bit before Emily had decided to go.

So really, the fact that she wasn't feeling very merry right this instant wasn't because she had had a lousy Christmas, but rather because she was nervous as hell.

The thing was that she was on her way to the same cute and adorable pub she'd been going to for the past 4 years now and it was making her feel a bit nauseous. Because as fucked up as she'd been the year before, Emily hadn't forgotten a single detail.

She hadn't forgotten how completely wasted shed been, how incoherent and how silly. She also hadn't forgotten how lovely Naomi had been, how she'd cared for her, brought her outside and made sure she was okay. She had also not forgotten how the blonde's fingers had felt against her cheek, how they'd made her feel better, warmer.

Naomi had been lovely, that was a fact. But Emily couldn't forget that she'd been a complete mess and the thought was embarrassing as hell. Sure, Naomi had been great, but had she really had a choice? Emily knew the blonde had said she'd cared and she could remember that she had _looked_ worried, but surely she had felt obliged to stay with the redhead.

As she walked closer to her destination, Emily's heartbeat picked up. She knew Naomi had said they'd see each other again, she knew she'd said that the redhead hadn't ruined their Christmas Eve tradition, but Emily was worried nonetheless. What if the morning after, Naomi had changed her mind? What if she'd been disappointed, had thought Emily had ruined her Christmas? What if she just didn't show this year?

Emily could feel her stomach churning uncomfortably at the thought. It was weird in a way, weird that she felt so desperate to see the blonde girl because, really, she didn't know much about her. She seen her 4 years in a row on Christmas Eve. They'd discussed Emily's sexuality and chickenpox. They'd flirted but that was about it. When it came down to it, Naomi was a pretty much a stranger.

Yet, here Emily was, walking into the night, hoping with all her heart that the other girl would be there. Why? The redhead wasn't sure. But she was hoping nonetheless.

She spotted the little pub in the distance, its warm yellow light gleaming. She walked closer, her heart going a bit crazy, her hands shaking.

Emily replaced her hat above her ears, steeled herself as she came up to the front door. Then, she took a deep breath and walked in. The warmth hit her instantly, enveloping.

Emily's heart was beating so fast, it was uncanny. She walked further into the pub, trying not to panic when she didn't spot Naomi anywhere after a quick first glance. She tried to talk to her frantic heart, reasoning that the blonde _never_ arrived first so it was no reason to panic, but it didn't listen.

Her legs were feeling a bit weak and Emily couldn't believe how nervous she was. Christ, she'd gone on plenty of dates in her life and none had ever made her feel quite like this and this wasn't even supposed to be a date. It was pathetic really.

She walked towards the bar, determined not to let her nervousness get the better of her and as she walked past a large group of teens, she stopped. Because there, sat at a table in a corner, looking absolutely magnificent, her blonde hair glinting under the lights above her, there was Naomi. She had skinny jeans with black boots and thick woollen socks. She had a deep red Christmas jumper, white reindeers and snowflakes patterns on it. There was a glass of lager in front of her, half empty and she was playing absentmindedly with a coaster, her delicate eyes checking a clock on the wall every few seconds.

Emily's heart caught in her throat as her eyes travelled all over the other girl's body, then it released as she realised that she had come. Naomi had come and Emily _really_ hadn't ruined their Christmas Eve tradition.

With that happy thought, the redhead walked to the bar, ordered drinks for both her and the blonde and walked over. She had half hoped she'd surprise the other girl because, it had always been the other way around, but of course, when she was about half way there, Naomi turned around and blue eyes fell onto Emily's body.

The redhead tried to control her ecstatic grin, but when the blonde's lips curved happily, hers could only follow. Emily arrived at the table shortly after that, placing the brand new drink in front of the blonde before sitting down.

"Hi!" she greeted a bit breathlessly.

"Hey" Naomi replied.

"I... you came" the redhead wondered out loud.

The blonde chuckled and tilted her head cutely to the side as she observed the petite woman.

"Were you afraid I wouldn't?" she asked.

"Well... I wouldn't have blamed you after last year..." Emily explained, her eyes falling onto the table.

Naomi chuckled again.

"Oh please Ems, that was nothing" she assured her.

"No it wasn't" the redhead argued. "I was completely embarrassing and I wouldn't have been surprised if you hadn't shown up this year"

"Emily" the blonde said firmly. "You were highly intoxicated. It happens, it was _fine_. So stop fretting. Besides, I couldn't _not_ show, being a Christmas spirit and all..." she finished, the corners of her mouth tugging upwards.

Emily blushed profusely and groaned as she hid her face behind her hands. She heard the blonde giggle.

"Gosh... I'm so sorry about that" the redhead whined.

"Don't worry about it, it was sweet actually! You were hilarious"

"I was _stupid_!"

"Well... maybe a bit silly... But good silly, yeah? Please stop being so embarrassed. It was hilarious I swear! At least until you started feeling bad" Naomi finished, her expression turning serious.

They stared at each other in silence after that.

"Anyway, enough about last year, yeah?" Naomi said confidently, breaking the silent contemplation. "Let's make most of _this_ year"

Emily nodded, another blush forming on her cheeks at the blonde's suggestion.

"This is weird" she voiced out loud.

"Why?" Naomi asked her with a raised eyebrow.

"This is the first year we're meeting and it's... well... _planned_... I feel like I've never just sat there to talk to you"

Naomi nodded, biting her bottom lip.

"It _is_ a bit weird, isn't it?" she agreed as Emily nodded eagerly.

"Good weird though" The redhead added and it was Naomi's turn to nod.

Emily stared again, feeling a bit like this was all she did when faced with the blonde.

"So... you're here on your own this year?" the blonde eventually began, her voice a bit shaky.

Emily guessed that perhaps she wasn't the only one feeling nervous.

"Yeah, Katie stayed at home... She brought her boyfriend along and they were all cuddled up, soppy twats" Emily joked.

"Really? Your sister cuddling? I wouldn't have pegged her for a cuddler" Naomi mused.

"Why?" the redhead asked genuinely curious.

"Because she's been bloody rude every time I've met her!" the blonde exclaimed with a laugh.

"Oh... well... yeah, that's Katie" Emily conceded with a blush. "Sorry about that"

"That's fine. I'm just not sorry she's not here" the blonde replied cheekily.

"I'm not sorry either" Emily admitted and they laughed together.

Silence fell as they drank for a bit. Emily looked at the blonde from under her fringe. She couldn't believe she was actually sitting there with the other girl and they were just _talking_. She was boiling with questions, not sure if she ought to ask.

"What are you thinking about?" Naomi asked her suddenly. "I can _see_ you looking at me, you know?"

The redhead blushed hard and bit her lip shyly.

"I... I just have so many questions..." she admitted.

"You always do" the blonde replied with an eye roll.

"Can I ask you things? Have we finally progressed to that point in our friendship?" she teased.

"Well... I don't know... Just you asking and getting answers sounds far too easy" Naomi explained.

Emily rolled her eyes.

"You do realise that's how _friendship_ works, right? How getting to know one another works..."

Naomi smirked at her and raised her eyebrow.

"Well maybe boring, typical friendships... This is neither... So I think... Yeah, you'll have to _earn_ your answers" she announced, looking pleased with herself.

Emily chuckled disbelievingly.

"And how do I do that?"

"How about..." the blonde started, seemingly thinking hard. "Oh I know! How about I answer a question for each drink you buy me?"

"What?!" the redhead exclaimed. "How _cheap_ is that?"

"Well? You in or what?" Naomi shrugged, a huge grin on her lips.

"No! One question? That's a rip off! I get 5 questions for each drink!"

"_Five_?! That's way too many!"

"Well one is too little"

"Alright, what about three? You get three questions, but for each set of questions I get one veto"

"A veto?"

"_Yes_, a veto. Like the right to refuse the question..." the blonde explained slowly.

"I know what it _means_!" Emily shot back. "If you get a veto every set of questions, I deserve _at least_ one right to cancel any veto!"

It was Naomi's turn to ponder.

"Just the one time overall?" she inquired.

"Yeah okay, just the once" Emily agreed.

"Okay then" Naomi agreed with a nod. "Deal"

"Great!" Emily replied excitedly. "So I have three questions!"

"What? You need to buy me a drink first!" the blonde argued.

"And what do you suppose that is?" the redhead demanded as she pointed at the glass of lager she'd brought along earlier.

"It doesn't count! It was _before_ the deal!" Naomi shot back.

"You're drinking it, aren't you? Then it _counts_"

They both tried to stare each other down for a minute. If Naomi had expected Emily to back down though she was disappointed. The redhead held herself firm and unwavering until Naomi starting giggling.

"Alright, alright..." she conceded. "Go ahead"

Emily did a little victory dance on her seat and Naomi rolled her eyes in fake exasperation. The effect was a bit undermined though by the smirk that was also on her face.

"Okay... first question... What's your last name?" Emily asked.

"Vetoed" Naomi replied right away.

"What?! You're using your veto on _this_?"

"Yes I am!" the blonde confirmed.

"Why?!"

"We never agreed that I had to _explain_ the vetos! I'm just using it!"

"But why don't you want me to know your last name?" Emily wondered, a bit hurt.

Naomi's face changed instantly.

"Oh no, it's not _that_!" she said. "It's just... my last name is ridiculous... just... I don't want you to laugh so just forget it"

"What? What is it? Beaver? Cummins?" Emily asked, half giggling.

"_No_" Naomi replied pointedly. "Nothing like that"

"Then what?"

"I'm not telling you!"

"How bad can it be? Oh! Is it a shared name?"

"Huh..." Naomi gulped nervously.

"Because my mum was going out with a bloke called Marvin Price before meeting my dad and we always make fun of my sister because if that guy had been our dad then she would be called Katie Price! So is it something like that?"

Naomi stared at her with wide eyes, not saying anything so Emily continued.

"Is it? Gosh I can already imagine your name being... I don't know... Naomi Campbell? Ha! That'd be perfect!" Emily joked.

When she spotted Naomi's open mouth and look of complete horror though she started laughing hard.

"Oh my _god_! You name _is_ Naomi Campbell, isn't it?" she said through a fit of giggles.

"How did you even... _Christ_!" Naomi complained. "That's it, laugh it up..."

"I'm not!" Emily said, trying to control her chuckles. "It's just... unfortunate"

"Yeah well..." the blonde said grumpily.

Emily couldn't help thinking she was adorable with that annoyed pout on her face.

"I'm sorry! Not laughing" she said when she finally managed to stop.

"Yeah, you didn't laugh _at all_" the girl shot back with an eye roll.

"I'm _sorry_!" Emily pushed, biting her bottom lip.

"Yeah yeah... just get on with your questions..."

"Okay!"

And just like that they started talking. At first, because she didn't want to scare the other girl, Emily asked simple questions. What is your favourite colour: green, what's your favourite meal: I'm quite privy for curry... stuff like that. After a few drinks in though, she decided to ask more serious questions. After five years of meeting this girl, it was about time she reckoned.

"Alright" she began, looking at the blonde. "So what do you _do_?"

"What do I do...?"

"Like, in life... Do you study or...?"

"Oh... yeah. I'm in my last year of Uni" the blonde said.

"Me too" Emily replied happily. "Well, I could be finished, but I switched programs after the first year" she explained with a wave of her hand.

"Yeah? What were you in and what are you in now?" the blonde asked curiously.

"Oh no! If _I_ have to buy you a drink for every three questions, so do you!" Emily replied with a scoff.

Naomi chuckled softly before nodding.

"Alright, fair enough" she said, getting up confidently and walking towards the bar.

When she came back, she had 4 shot glasses between her fingers.

"Shots can't count!" Emily tried to argue, but the blonde shook her head.

"Course they do! It's not my fault you didn't think of that, is it?" she said cheekily.

The redhead tried to be mad at her, but she couldn't do it. She couldn't do it when Naomi was looking so charming in that damn Christmas jumper.

"One question. They will count for one question" Emily conceded, grabbing a shot and drinking it in one motion.

She cringed a bit at the strong taste of what she recognised to be vodka and replaced the glass on the table.

"So?" Naomi reminded her with a smirk.

"So, I did a year of English at Westminster and despite the fact that I did really like it, I decided to switch into photography at the Royal College of Arts"

"Westminster at first?" the blonde giggled. "Wow... Anyway, so photography? I didn't know you were an artist" she continued, looking pleased.

Emily giggled and shook her head.

"Well I wouldn't say an _artist_... I mean, what is an artist? What does it take to be an artist? I just... I like photography... I like capturing images, I like finding special images to capture whether its inanimate objects or actual living things"

"Don't tell me, you put _souls_ into your pictures, yeah?" Naomi teased.

Emily bit her bottom lip.

"Well... I try..." she explained shyly.

"You keep saying I'm poetic, but I think you'll find you're the poetic one miss..." Naomi started, but stopped with a frown.

She pointed at a glass shot.

"Drink up and tell me your last name" she said.

Emily made a point of rolling her eyes, but drank nonetheless.

"It's Fitch" she said once she was done.

"Okay, so you're the poetic one miss Fitch!"

"Maybe we both are?" the redhead suggested.

"Yeah okay... both sounds good"

They smiled for a bit until Emily decided to continue.

"Now I believe _I_ still had 2 questions... So what do _you_ study?"

"I'm in Politics and International Relations"

"Wow! That sounds serious! What do you want to do with that?"

"I'm not sure... Maybe work for a consulate or an organisation like World Wildlife Fund or Oxfam... I don't know yet" the blonde explained with a shrug.

Emily tilted her head to look at her. She couldn't actually believe it.

"What?" Naomi asked.

"I'm just... impressed, I guess" she said honestly.

"Why would you be?"

"Sounds to me like you're getting ready to change the world and that's impressive"

Naomi blushed cutely and averted her eyes at the compliment. Emily's chest warmed up at the sight. Wanting her words to really sink in and since she had used all her questions, she decided to go get another drink.

Naomi looked a bit less shy when she came back and placed another pint in front of her.

"Ems, this is the... what? fourth, fifth drink you've bought me? Are you trying to get me drunk?" she said with a smirk.

"Humm... And what if I was? Would you mind?" the redhead teased, fully aware that she had moved her chair a fair few inches closer to Naomi when she'd sat back.

Apparently the shots she'd taken had started having some effect on her because all she wanted was to be closer to the blonde. Naomi blushed and bit her bottom lip, but she didn't move away. Perhaps she didn't mind Emily's sudden playful mood.

"Nan, I wouldn't mind" the blonde finally answered, her voice thick. "I was just checking"

They stared at each other for a second too long for it to was just casual and then Naomi took a long gulp of her larger. When she had placed it back on the table, Emily breathed in slowly before continuing her questions.

"So you're studying politics... But like.. do you have a passion? I mean... not necessarily equality or stuff like that... but something more... I dunno... something else... Do you?"

Naomi blushed again and nodded.

"What is it?" Emily asked eagerly.

"Vetoed" the blonde shot back instantly.

"No! Counter vetoed! This is too important" the redhead argued.

Naomi bit her bottom lip and squirmed on her seat. It was clear to Emily that revealing this particular piece of information was a big thing for the blonde, so she reached a hand out and grabbed Naomi's.

"Please?" she asked softly. "I'd really like to know... And I... I'm not sure why, but I feel like any passion of yours would be a too important part of you for me not to know... So... Please?"

Naomi looked at her curiously for a long time after that. The redhead had no clue if she would answer or no and frankly, the blonde didn't look like she knew either. But then she licked her lips, sighed and her shoulders relaxed and just like that Emily knew she would.

"It's... dancing..." she relented with difficulty, not meeting Emily's eyes.

The redhead had to admit she was surprised at first, but then she guessed it at least explained the blonde's gorgeous body.

"Tell me about dancing..." she requested calmly. "What is it about dancing that you love so much?"

Maybe it was because Emily hadn't laughed, maybe it was because she was still holding her hand, but Naomi seemed to lighten up, a smile slowly forming on her lips.

"Just... the freedom of it" she started. "I've been dancing since I was a little kid and I... It's my safe place... And I don't mean the studio because I don't need a studio to dance, but like... when I start moving, when I'm doing movements, I fall into my own safe place. It's just me and my body and the music and no one can touch me there. I just feel... completely free and it's just a really fantastic feeling"

When she was done, it felt to Emily like her heart was overflowing with warmth.

"I knew you always were the poetic one" she tried to joke, her voice a bit too husky for it though.

She squeezed the blonde's hand in hers and both their eyes locked naturally. The air around then thickened, it seemed and neither one of them dared to blink.

How was it even possible that they always only saw each other once a year? Emily wondered. Why couldn't they see each other all year round? Because Emily wasn't sure she'd ever gotten along with anyone quite like she was getting along with Naomi... So why not?

"Where did you say your Uni was?" Emily asked, her eyes still firmly on the other girl's.

"I didn't"

"Well, where is it?"

"You're out of questions..." Naomi told her.

"Hang on" Emily replied instantly, but then the lights flickered and she knew it was too late to buy a drink. "No!" she swore as Naomi giggled.

"Better luck next year" the blonde said, disconnecting both her eyes and her hand from Emily as she stared to get up.

"No, wait!" Emily cried out, panicked. "Naomi please, where do you go to Uni?"

Then, in a spur of the moment, she took out 5 pounds out of her pocket and placed it on the table.

"Here, I'm buying one of your shot. Now drink and answer!" she demanded.

Naomi chuckled a bit surprised.

"Jesus! Calm down, will you?" she said with an eye roll, grabbing the shot glass and drinking it. "There"

"So?" Emily pushed.

"I go to Westminster... In London" Naomi admitted and Emily gawked.

"What?! You... What?!"

"It's not that special" the blonde giggled.

"Yes it is! Please give me your mobile number, we could go for coffee sometime or..." Emily began, but Naomi shook her head.

"I... Actually, I've been studying abroad..."

"Oh..." Emily said, her heart falling to the bottom of her stomach.

"I'm only ever around at Christmas because my mum is in Bristol... But yeah... I'm enrolled at Westminster, but I'm constantly in exchange programs. I did a year in Madrid, a year in New York and this year, I'm going to a University in Moscow..."

"Oh..." Emily repeated, disappointment filling her completely now.

Naomi looked at her guiltily for a bit before stepping towards her.

"Hey..." she said softly. "I'm sorry..."

"You don't have to apologise" Emily scoffed.

Even if she _was_ disappointed, Naomi really didn't need to apologise. It was great that she had the opportunity to travel like this.

"Take the last shot" the blonde told her.

Emily did without hesitation. Somehow, she felt like she needed it.

"What's your question?" she asked when the blonde didn't say anything.

"Will I see you next year?" Naomi whispered uncertainly.

"Of course you will" Emily replied instantly, feeling like her answer just couldn't have been otherwise.

Naomi smiled brightly and together, they walked outside. Once there, the blonde stepped confidently towards Emily and pulled her into her own body for a hug. The redhead fell into it without hesitation. They hugged for what seemed like too long for random friends, but Emily didn't argue and just let herself be enveloped by the other girl.

Eventually they had to let go though.

"I... There's one thing I want you to know" Naomi said before Emily had time to walk away.

"What?" the redhead asked, her heart beating unexpectedly fast.

"I... I could have stayed in Moscow for the holidays... or in New York or in Madrid... Every year, I have the choice to stay over there... Of course, I think my mum would be really disappointed if I didn't come home, so I do, but... Well... There is also huh... well there are traditions I'm not willing to break so... So I guess what I'm trying to say is... we'll always have Christmas... I'm sorry if it's not much, but... just know that there will always be that" Naomi explained.

Suddenly, the disappointment Emily had been feeling didn't feel so heavy. Naomi was right, they _would_ always have Christmas and Emily was okay with just that. At least for now.

.

.

**Soooo we've finally learned a few things about Naomi! yay! Hope you're still enjoying this! Just a few days till Christmas :D **

**MM xxx**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Year 6 was always going to be a bitch to write... And then, just because I was already taking long enough, work decided to get into the mix. Let's just say I haven't slept much these past few days!**

**That being said, I've included a little fanservice in this because I love you guys and because the chapter is quite late and... well... because I could. Hope you like it ;) **

**.**

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**Chapter 6: The Sixth year **

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.

Emily always loved the holiday period, she always had. She especially liked that little time frame, right before Christmas usually, where everyone had stopped running around to look for presents, that time period where everyone just stopped for a bit to be happy. She had always thought it was such a blissful moment, but she had never imagined she'd come to cherish it as much once she finished her studies.

When she'd been in Uni, she had thought Christmas couldn't get better than that for it was the absolute perfect relief to a stressful end of semester and nothing was as stressful to the redhead as end of semesters. But actually being done with school and trying to build a career was much worse as it turned out.

As hard as it all was and as hard as she'd been working, Emily had to admit that she'd been lucky to get a job for some urban magazine in London shortly after finishing Uni. Of course it hadn't been _just_ luck. She had spent a tremendous amount of time working on her photographs during her degree, enough time to build a proper portfolio that had gotten her the job. It wasn't, in all honesty, the best job there was- sometimes her assignments were ridiculously pointless- but it was a job and it was in her field. She also appreciated the fact that she could still manage to work on her own projects in between assignments.

Still, as much as she liked her life, it _was_ really stressful so when the holidays came around, Emily was more than happy to escape to Bristol for a bit. Since she was newest employee at the magazine, Emily hadn't gotten many days off. She'd only be in Bristol for three days, but they would have to be enough.

Besides, it wasn't like Emily had that many things she wanted to do in Bristol apart from spending some time with her family and, of course, go to a certain bar to see a certain blonde. It was a bit uncanny actually how much that latter incentive had become important to her. Sure, she liked Naomi and she liked spending time with her, but it hadn't been until she'd discussed the matter with Effy two days before leaving for Bristol that she'd realised that her little tradition with the blonde had become so... unshakable.

The two women had been hanging out at Emily's flat that evening. Effy had been her usual Grinch, complaining about the holidays and casually working her way through a few bottles of wine in the redhead's sitting room as Emily was packing her bag.

"I don't understand why we even have to go home" the brunette had whined.

"Come on Ef, it's _Christmas_. Can you hear me if I'm in my room?" she had asked as she moved around her bedroom.

"Ems, your flat is about the size of a large cupboard... I can hear you fine no matter which room you're in" Effy had scoffed.

"Right... well, as I was saying, Christmas is _the_ holiday that's supposed to require family" Emily had argued.

"Exactly my point. Can't we just skip it? Let's just go to Ibiza instead, what d'you reckon?"

"Ibiza? Urgh no thanks" Emily had scoffed.

"What's wrong with a place full of beaches and a bright hot sun?"

"Just not my scene. Why don't you ask Katie to go with you?"

"You _know_ Katie is doing the whole 'meet the parents' at Jeremy's this year..." Effy had replied with an eye roll.

"I reckon she might just skip it for _you_" Emily had shot back, a hint of bitterness in her voice.

"Christ's sake Emily, it was _one_ kiss! You know bloody well that Katie and I are _friends_! Besides, she's well loved up with Jer" the brunette had said with an exasperated sigh.

"It never stops being weird though..." she'd mumbled under her breath. "Anyway, _I_ actually _want_ to be with my family for Christmas" she'd continued.

"Are you quite sure it's about your family?" Effy had inquired, a knowing smirk forming on her lips.

"Course I'm sure... what d'you mean?" she'd replied, a new edge to her voice.

"Are you sure it's got _nothing_ to do with Christmas-Naomi then?" her friend had pushed.

"Christmas-Naomi?" Emily had asked. "What sort of nickname is that...?"

"Well you only see her on Christmas... seemed fitting"

Emily had bit her lip for a bit before replying.

"Well... It's not _about_ Naomi... I mean, _sure_, I'm planning on meeting her, but I'm not like... going back _for_ her" she'd explained, feeling like she was lying at least a bit.

Effy had looked at her so intently afterwards that Emily had been sure she could see right through her. She had felt nervous somehow and when the brunette had opened her mouth to finally reply, Emily had gulped in fear.

"And you're sure that's a good idea?" the girl had said slowly.

"What do you mean?" she'd replied shakily.

"Well... You meet this girl _every_ single year... And it's been what? 5 years now?"

"6..." the redhead had corrected, her cheeks flushed.

"6 years then. So you've been meeting her for 6 years, but only ever just the once every year... I just wonder if perhaps it hasn't become damaging to maintain the relationship" Effy had explained slowly.

"What?! Damaging? How?" Emily had asked, incredulous.

"The relationship is hardly healthy Ems..." her friend had said with a pointed look. "You've become attached to this girl even though you hardly know her"

"I do know her..." she had tried to defend, albeit a bit flimsily.

"Hardly" Effy had insisted. "Yet, you insist on going back home every year and meeting up. It's unhealthy"

"But why? We chat, we have fun. We've formed a friendship. How is that unhealthy?"

"Because I doubt 'friendship' is the right term to describe whatever the hell you think you've developed with her" Effy had said with a shrug.

Emily's entire chest had felt like it had collapsed at her friend's words.

"Wha... What?!" she'd mumbled. "I... what else would it be?"

"I don't know. Because it's not a relationship either. You can't actually _date_ a girl you see once a year, yet I've known you 3 years and I've _never_ seen you in an actual relationship"

The redhead had chuckled nervously at what had sounded a lot like accusations.

"Well of course, Naomi and I aren't _dating_" She'd said. "And I'm sorry if I haven't had a girlfriend in ages... I mean... I go on dates sometimes..." she'd tried to defend.

"But are you even bothered? Look Emily, I don't mean to pressure you with this... All I'm saying is, this grey area you've put yourself into with this girl it's not normal and it can't be good for you"

Emily had nodded and neither of them had added anything after that. Their evening had carried on as if it hadn't happened and Effy hadn't mentioned anything about Naomi again, even when she'd given Emily a lift to the train station.

The redhead had been grateful too.

Although her friends words had stayed with her for quite some time afterwards, it hadn't stopped Emily from going to the pub on Christmas Eve just like she had planned. So what if Effy thought it was unhealthy? She didn't know them, did she? Her tradition with Naomi wasn't _unhealthy_. Perhaps it was a bit peculiar, but that was it. Besides, if their meetings made them both happy, who was Effy to say it wasn't a good thing?

Emily had been telling herself just that as she made her way to the pub. She was annoyed with herself though as she felt a little twinge of doubts deep in her stomach. _Was_ her relationship with Naomi abnormally weird? How was she supposed to know?

Those thoughts were churning in Emily's head as she pushed the door of the pub open. They continued to churn as she glanced at the place and walked to the bar when she didn't see Naomi. When she sat down at a table, shedding off her coat, a while later, the thoughts were _still_ churning.

But then, a hand travelled on her back from one shoulder blade to the other and a familiar voice spoke a cheerful 'hello stranger' close to her ear and the thoughts fucked off. By the time Naomi had sat herself in front of Emily, her usual easy grin on her face, her hair as bottle blonde as ever, her eyes still so fucking blue, it was like the thoughts had never been there at all.

"How do you _always_ do that?" Emily asked, comfortably skipping the hellos.

"Do what?" Naomi inquired curiously.

"Surprise me... Even last year when you arrived first, it's like you knew I'd arrived the moment I walked in... How do you do that?"

"Oh well, simple really, it's part of my Christmas spirit super powers" the blonde teased.

"Urgh..." Emily groaned. "You're never going to let me live that down, are you?"

"Oh no. No chance" Naomi confirmed happily.

"Bitch" the redhead grumbled, barely able to keep herself from grinning broadly.

The blonde chuckled, her eyes glinting in the light.

"So what's the plan this year?" she asked after a minute. "Are you getting me drunk again or...?"

"_No_" Emily replied pointedly. "Unless I _still_ have to get you drunk to get any sort of conversation out of you"

Naomi smiled, but shook her head.

"Good, so then, how have you been? How is life post Uni?" Emily asked, rather pleased.

"Humm, I've been good. Life is alright"

"Yeah? I'm glad to hear that" she replied genuinely.

Emily's heart accelerated as she let herself wonder where Naomi was now. She knew the blonde had mentioned going to Uni in London the year previously and she knew that, then, she'd been studying abroad, but perhaps her situation had changed. Perhaps Naomi was back in England now that she had finished her degree. Emily's heart picked up even more when she thought that maybe they'd be able to see each other more than just on Christmas this year...

"What about you? You've finished, haven't you?" Naomi asked, bringing the redhead out of her thoughts.

"Yes, I have"

"And what did you do with it? Where can I see your pictures?" the blonde asked eagerly.

Emily felt her lips curve into the biggest of smile at the other woman's enthusiasm.

"You'd want to see my pictures?" she asked before she could stop herself.

"Well _of course_!" Naomi chuckled. "Why is that such a surprise?"

"I just... I don't know... I mean... There's not much to show, really" Emily rambled. "I work for a small magazine... It's nothing-"

"Emily that's _brilliant_!" Naomi cut her off. "What magazine? Write it... hang on" she continued excitedly looking around herself.

She got up and walked to the bar and Emily watched her, her mouth wide open. A minute later, she was back with a pen and a napkin.

"Here, write down the name of the magazine" she indicated, her index finger tapping the napkin.

"Why?" Emily asked curiously.

"Because I'll need a subscription and my memory is shit sometimes and I don't want to forget this" Naomi explained simply, as if it had been obvious.

The redhead stared at her, words failing her. How could this ever be unhealthy? She thought. How could Effy ever think it was when Naomi was just so... _so_? Without warning, tears sprung to her eyes. Emily bit on her bottom lip hard to fight them back. Naomi still spotted them though and frowned.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked, her voice full of worry.

"No!" Emily exclaimed instantly. "Gosh not at all! It's just... I didn't expect that... You... I mean, Katie, who is my _twin_, bought a copy of the first issue that printed one of my pictures, but... I don't think she's even looked at the magazine since..."

"Ah, I had almost forgotten about your lovely twin" Naomi mused. "How is she these days? I miss our chats" she teased.

Emily chuckled, brushing a hand quickly to the corner of her eye.

"She's really not that bad" she told the blonde.

Naomi scoffed in response.

"Anyway... I'm just... you really don't have to subscribe" Emily said shyly, bringing the subject back to her work.

"Em... I _want_ to" the blonde assured her. "So just write the bloody name down, yeah?" she finished with a smirk.

The redhead smirked, feeling her cheeks blush hard. She wrote the name of her magazine down and when she was done, Naomi looked satisfied. She grabbed the napkin, folded it carefully and placed it in her pocket. When she was done, she dragged her blue orbs back onto Emily.

"Now, tell me about it" she said.

"About what?" Emily giggled.

"Your work, your photographs... All of it" Naomi demanded eagerly.

"Okay" the redhead agreed.

And she did. As she started telling the blonde about her job, its good parts, its less good parts, she got lost into her own little world. As she described photograph techniques and methods, as she explained her own personal preferences, as she even delved into long descriptions of what she hoped to accomplish, Emily was surprised not to feel self-conscious.

Normally, when she started discussing photography, she'd notice others getting bored and that would make her feel like the biggest dork there was. It was for that reason that she usually felt self-conscious whenever she broached the subject, but somehow under Naomi's observing stare she didn't. Perhaps it was because Naomi looked genuinely interested, Emily couldn't know for sure, but with the blonde she felt comfortable to discuss it all, every detail, no holding back.

Again, her thoughts were brought back to what Effy had said. She almost laughed then. How ridiculous had it been? How far off had her friend been? There was nothing unhealthy about her relationship with Naomi. It was _unique_, Emily would agreed on that, but it was a _good_ unique no matter what anyone told her.

"_God_, I'm sorry" Emily eventually said, her cheeks bright red. "I didn't mean to go full geek on you... I get a bit... intense when I start talking about photography..."

"Don't apologise" Naomi brushed off. "It's actually fascinating! And... besides, I kind of love seeing you talking about something with this level of passion... It's... it's beautiful Ems..."

"Thanks..." the redhead replied, feeling her blush intensify.

She bit her bottom lip to control her smirk. Her heart was beating fast and she was feeling a bit light headed. She had only had one drink, but somehow it had gotten to her head already. Or maybe it wasn't the drink, but Naomi's presence. Emily wasn't sure. It didn't matter though.

They continued to talk for a long while after that, trading stories of Uni and travels, one drink turning into a few. Emily told the blonde about some ragging parties she'd attended with her friends while Naomi told her of her time in Russia and other countries.

The conversation flowed easily between them, just like it always did. It never ceased to amaze the redhead actually how _easy_ things were with Naomi. In a way, Effy had been right, Naomi and she _did_ hardly know each other, but in another way, she had been so wrong. Sure, once a year wasn't much, but Emily _knew_ Naomi. She really did. They had a connection and that was undeniable.

They didn't do anything but talk and laugh and drink for a long time. And then, a song Emily loved resounded into the pub and the redhead jumped up from her seat.

"Oh my god I _love_ this song!" she exclaimed. "Let's _dance_!"

Naomi laughed and looked at her as if she'd grown a second head.

"What?!" she asked incredulously.

"Let's dance!" Emily repeated, extending a hand to the still sitting blonde.

"What _here_?" Naomi inquired.

"Well _yeah_"

"No! Ems, it's a _pub_"

"So?"

"So there's no dancefloor! And there's _no one_ dancing" Naomi explained with a pointed look around the place.

Emily grinned.

"What? I thought you _loved_ to dance" she teased.

"I do" Naomi replied, her brow furrowing.

"What's the problem then? Don't tell me you love to dance, but actually _can't_ dance..." Emily continued with a smirk.

"For your information, I've taken several dancing classes" the blonde defended hotly. "I'm a _great_ dancer"

"Prove it then" Emily challenged, her smirk ridiculously wide now.

She waited as Naomi's lips twitched between a thin line and a grin. It was obvious to Emily that the blonde was debating whether or not she found the idea of dancing in a pub too embarrassing to refuse the redhead's challenge.

"Come on Naomi... Don't tell me you're _afraid_" Emily pushed just a little bit harder.

And just like she'd known she would, the blonde cracked, rolled her eyes and got up from her seat.

"Okay, you're on Fitch" she shot back. "I'll show you just _how good_ I am"

Emily laughed as she followed the other girl. She was still giggling when they reached a spot where there weren't many chairs and Naomi stopped, seemingly satisfied with the space. Then, the blonde gave Emily one last confident smirk and just like that she started to dance. It took about 5 seconds for the redhead's laughter to die in her throat afterwards.

As it turned out, Naomi's cockiness over her dancing abilities had been completely and thoroughly justified and Emily reckoned she'd hardly ever seen anything so fucking beautiful.

When Naomi danced, it felt like the whole world had stopped moving, like it had just stopped to watch her move. And boy did she know how to move. Her limbs flowed so naturally, that it felt to Emily like they had always been meant to dance. Her movements were both elegant and graceful, but also forceful and ridiculously enthralling. Actually, the whole of her was enthralling, everything about her breathtaking. She was like fire, owning the space around her with raw beauty and power.

Despite how good she was though, it wasn't Naomi's actual dancing that caught Emily's attention the most. What had made Emily so serious and what was making it completely impossible for her to watch anything else was how fucking _happy_ the blonde looked. There was no tension in her shoulders, no worry on her face. She was free, completely and entirely free and Emily wasn't sure how to deal with that. Never before had she wanted to have her camera as bad as she did in that moment. She was dying to capture the image, to try to immortalise rawness.

She watched in silence and reverence until the song ended and Naomi stopped dancing. The second she did, her blue eyes found Emily's instantly and she smirked. Then, the pub erupted around them, cheers and applauses engulfing the blonde who, for the first time since she'd started to dance, seemed to remember just exactly where they were. She blushed adorably and Emily's smile returned.

Then, as if the whole ordeal had been planned from the beginning of the night, someone shouted for the bartender to turn the music up, tables and chairs were moved aside and other people got up to dance as well. Naomi and Emily looked at it unfold around them with stunned expressions, but accepted it readily.

Nobody was paying them any attention anymore when Naomi finally walked up to Emily, a grin firmly back on her lips.

"Well? What are you waiting for? I thought _we_ were supposed to dance" the blonde teased.

Emily felt intimidated all of a sudden because, sure, she could move, but not like Naomi could. As if sensing her hesitation though, the blonde's cheeky smirk transformed into a soft smile and she grabbed the redhead's hand gently with hers.

"Come..." she whispered just for Emily and that was all it took.

They danced together after that and Emily and that was that. They continued to dance and Emily chortled loudly when, at one point, Naomi decided to demonstrate her repertoire of ridiculous moves. It was all very friendly for a very long time until the blonde grabbed Emily by the waist.

"Come here a minute" she whispered in her ear.

Emily's heart jumped into her throat as Naomi pressed herself against her. She wondered for a second why she had grabbed her like that until the blonde withdrew her mobile from her pocket and snapped a quick picture of the two of them together.

Emily wanted to argue or at the very least ask Naomi to show her the picture, but the blonde put her phone back into her pocket and continued to dance. The redhead let it slide and the night carried on. Still, the mood had shifted somehow and if they had dance with a fair distance between them earlier, that distance had almost completely vanished now.

Naomi pressed herself against Emily and the redhead blushed. She tried to follow the other girl as they moved together, but she couldn't figure out how.

"I... I can't... I don't know how to..." she tried to explain lamely, but Naomi chuckled in her ear and she stopped talking.

"Just follow my hips" the blonde told her, her hands falling to Emily's waist, keeping them close together.

Emily did just that, because really, what else could she do? They fell into the same beat, they fell into the same world and as the redhead brought her arms around Naomi's neck, they were brought even closer together.

Emily heart was beating madly now, her entire body buzzing with this new proximity.

The petite looked up and her eyes found Naomi's instantly. Blues were flashing with many emotions Emily couldn't place and the sight sent a weird lurch to her stomach. The redhead looked at the rest of the other woman's face and her breath caught in her throat. She'd never seen her look like that, her cheeks red from the heat, her hair a bit messy and a carefree smile.

She had never looked more beautiful than she was looking in that moment, Emily reckoned. She opened her mouth to tell her, because Naomi _needed_ to know just how gorgeous she was, but just before the redhead had said anything, she felt the blonde's phone vibrate against her leg.

Naomi let go of her waist and Emily let go of her neck. Naomi answered her phone. Barely a few seconds later, the music was lowered and the lights flickered.

The crowd groaned loudly in disapproval.

"The bar is closing" she told the blonde when her phone was back in her pocket.

"Yeah... It's actually a good timing... I sort of have to go..." Naomi admitted with a guilty smile.

"Oh? Was that your mum?" Emily asked curiously.

Naomi bit her bottom lip and shook her head. She hesitated for a second before clearing her throat.

"No... huh... Actually... it was my boyfriend" she answered sheepishly.

Emily's own reply caught in her throat as Naomi's words sank in slowly. When they did, her heart deflated in her chest and she frowned.

"Your boyfriend?" she croaked.

"Yeah..." Naomi nodded.

"You have a _boyfriend_?"

"Yeah..." She repeated.

Emily opened and closed her mouth a few times as disappointment settled deep inside her stomach. Then, slowly, anger flared inside her.

"Why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend?" she asked hotly.

Naomi looked taken aback for a minute before stammering back:

"I huh... It didn't come up..."

"It didn't come up? What the fuck Naomi?!" Emily fired back, getting angrier.

"It _didn't_!" Naomi defended, her voice a bit rougher this time.

"I didn't even know you were interested in boys... Why didn't you tell me?!" the redhead asked, feeling completely betrayed.

6 years. They'd known each other for 6 years and Naomi had never even _implied_ that she was interested in men. Emily couldn't help thinking that she'd done so on purpose.

"Well we've never discussed my sexuality..." Naomi replied with a shrug.

"You could have said it _anyway_! You've never even mentioned it _once_" Emily said disbelievingly.

"So? Jesus Emily... What's the big deal?"

"I thought you were gay!" the redhead exclaimed forcefully.

"Well, I'm not. Besides, I don't really like people putting labels on me. I'm not a bloody jam jar" the blonde said snottily.

Emily scoffed and shook her head.

"That's not what I meant and you _know_ it" she shot back, her voice softer as her anger was replaced by disappointment.

"Look, I'm sorry. It never came up and I just didn't think to mention it..." Naomi said just as softly, guilt flashing in her bright blue eyes.

Emily bit at her bottom lip, trying to ignore the way her heart was aching in her chest and the way her throat had squeezed uncomfortably. She crossed her arms in front of her chest protectively, her brown eyes suddenly unable to look at Naomi.

"How long have you been with him?" Emily asked, dreading the answer.

How long exactly had Naomi hid the fact that she was taken from her? Had it been years? Had it been the whole time?

"Just a few months!" the blonde said quickly and the redhead's heart felt a bit better. "He's Russian... I met him at Uni"

At this, the petite's eyes shot back to Naomi.

"And he moved to England with you?" she asked.

"Yeah well... not really. I mean... He's just here with me for the holidays... I've not... I've not actually moved back to England..." the blonde admitted.

Emily's heart deflated even more. Why the fuck hadn't Naomi told her that earlier when she had asked her about her life after Uni?

"So you've moved to Russia with him?" She asked, her voice wobbling just a tiny bit.

"Oh _God_ no!" Naomi shook her head. "I've actually been accepted to do an internship in a non profit organization in Berlin and he decided to come with me to Germany for a bit..."

Emily nodded as she took in the information. She couldn't deny how disappointed she felt at this news.

"Still a globetrotter then?" she said sadly.

"Yeah..."

"So this is still just a Christmas thing, isn't it?" she asked, annoyed at herself for the bitterness she could hear in her voice.

Naomi bit her bottom lip uncomfortably before answering.

"Why are you making it sound so bad?" she said with a shake of her head. "It's not _just_ a Christmas thing, is it? It's... it's our Christmas _tradition_... It's our special thing..."

Emily only found the strength to shrug in response and Naomi suddenly looked alarmed.

"Ems..." she whispered. "It's... it's _our_ thing, yeah? I mean... you're still going to come next year... yeah?"

The redhead didn't reply to that either.

"Ems?" Naomi asked, her voice dripping with fear. "Please Ems, say you'll be there next year" she pleaded. "I don't know why you're so upset... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you... I... I thought... This is _us_, no? This is our friendship, no? We have Christmas... We always have Christmas..."

Emily looked at the blonde and as she saw the pained expression on her face, her heart faltered a little. She couldn't be mad at Naomi. The blonde was right. That _had_ been their friendship. That _had_ always been them. So why was she suddenly feeling disappointed? Why wasn't it enough anymore? Had she wanted _more_?

Emily sighed internally as she realised she didn't even know the answer to that question. She'd never even really thought about it, yet here she was acting like a jealous twat.

"I'm sorry" she said with a sigh, feeling tired all of a sudden. "I'm sorry, I was just surprised, I'm not upset" she continued.

Now she could see what Effy had meant about her relationship with Naomi though. This was what she'd meant when she'd told her they were stuck in a grey area and her friend had been right, it _wasn't _healthy. They couldn't stay in that in-between any longer. Emily had to make a decision. Either she accepted her once a year friendship- and friendship only- with Naomi or either she ended the tradition now.

"So... does that mean you'll be back next year?" Naomi asked hopefully.

Emily looked at the blonde carefully as she mulled it over. She looked at her soft skin and gorgeously riveting eyes. She imagined for a second a Christmas without her and her heart squeezed painfully. Then, she smiled.

"Of course I'll be back" she promised.

Her whole body felt lighter when a huge smile of relief appeared on Naomi's face and the blonde stepped closer to hug her to her chest. Emily hugged her back, inhaling deeply, letting Naomi's perfume wash over her one last time before she cemented her decision.

As she let her go, everything felt much better. There was no more 'grey area' no more 'in-between'. Naomi was her _friend_ and that would be all there was to it. It had to be.

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**Well things _had _to get a bit more complicated for this to last 12 years, didn't they? **

**I hope it was worth the wait! I'm sorry I didn't manage to get the story out for Christmas :( I'll do my best to finish it during the holidays though! Cheers everyone! Can't wait to hear your thoughts.**

**MMxx**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: I'm back! **

**First off, I'm sorry! I know I got you guys used to quick updates and this wasn't quick at all! If I can explain a little though, there was another reason why I wanted to get this story finished by Christmas other than the fact that it was sort of the concept and that reason is that I always knew I'd get real busy around New Year's. So yeah, I haven't wrote a single line in a week due to lack of time! So sorry.**

**Now, I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas. I hope every family behaved or if they didn't I hope it was in the good/funny kind of way! **

**Now, on to year 7!**

**.**

**.**

**Chapter 7: The Seventh year **

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By the time Christmas Eve rolled around the next year, not a lot had changed in Emily's life. She was still working for the same magazine, she was still living in London in the same tiny flat and she still had pretty much all the same friends. Really, she couldn't say her life had changed that much.

Still, if there was one thing she could say _had_ changed, it was the fact that she was no longer single. Emily guessed that, as far as changes went, it _was_ a rather relevant one.

The redhead had met Clara a few months ago. She would have liked to say that their first meeting was somewhat special, iconic, that their eyes had met in a crowded room, electricity had coursed through her and that she'd known instantly, but that would have been a lie. In fact, they had met several times before actually speaking to each other.

Clara was Audrey's cousin, one of Emily's work colleagues, and she had seen her for the first time in some posh bar the redhead hated instantly. They'd gone for a drink after a particularly rigorous photoshoot and somehow Clara had been invited. Although Emily had noticed her, she couldn't even pretend the girl had caught her eye or her attention, at least not particularly. She was cute, gorgeous actually, she even was Emily's type in sorts, but she was also rather quiet and shy and the redhead just hadn't really noticed her.

In fact, Emily, who usually had a decent gaydar, hadn't even realised that the other girl was gay until her colleague told her. She'd tried to pay closer attention to the girl afterwards, out of respect for her coworker more than anything else though.

If she was honest though, the one thing that had made her want to actually talk to Clara, get to know her, hadn't been her colleague's revelation or subtle encouragement, but a moment of pure geekness.

It had occurred when Carl, an absolute total wanker who Emily had the misfortune of working with, had tried to chat the girl up. He'd gone up to her, a sleazy smirk on his face and the attitude of someone who clearly thought they were God's gift to women.

"It's Clara, yeah? I'm Carl" he'd finished before the girl had had time to answer.

"Hi" Clara had replied politely.

"So Audrey tells me you're her gay cousin, eh?" he had asked without detour- or tact for that matter-, a small disdainful sneer on his lips. "What's up with that babes?"

Both Emily and Clara had stared at the wanker disbelievingly.

"Cause like, you're well fit. Can't imagine you not finding a real lad that'd do it for you. Besides, Audrey told me you were dating blokes before getting into pussy. So what happened?" he'd continued completely oblivious.

"Wow" Clara had scoffed softly.

When Carl didn't take the hint, she'd raised an eyebrow and had smiled tightly.

"Well, I _was_ really into cocks, obviously, totally loved them and not uncomfortable in my relationships at all or just, you know, figuring out my sexuality or anything" she'd said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "But then everything changed when the fire nation attacked"

Emily had laughed so hard she'd splashed her drink everywhere. Carl had looked completely dumbfounded but Clara had given her a satisfied look. And that's how it had started. After that, they had started talking and, as it turned out, Clara wasn't shy at all when you got to know her and she and Emily had a lot in common.

They'd gone on a few dates shortly after that, becoming an actual couple not too long afterwards. It had been a sweet and natural process and Emily had to admit she was rather happy.

As happy as they were and as well as their relationship was going, by Christmas, they'd only been together for four months and they'd both judged it was a bit early to meet the parents. Although Clara's parents lived in a small town just north of London, for Christmas the whole family usually gathered up north in Scotland at Clara's grandparents and both she and Emily judged that it would be simpler to part ways for the holidays. They'd have ample time to reacquaint themselves upon their return.

Jenna had been a bit disappointed at first when Emily had told her that her girlfriend wouldn't be coming to their traditional Christmas Eve dinner, but she'd gotten over it when Katie had told her she and Jeremy would be there.

Emily had been a bit scared her mother would nag her about it all night, but when Christmas Eve finally came around, Jenna was so happy to have her three children with her that she didn't bother the redhead at all about her absent girlfriend.

Emily was therefore in a great mood later, when she got ready to go to her little pub for her annual meeting with Naomi. She was finishing up her make up in the bathroom when Katie found her.

"Going to meet Naomi, I presume?" she said.

"Yeah" Emily confirmed.

"Can't you just like stay here for tonight?" Katie grumbled. "Why d'you have to meet her?"

"I don't _have_ to" Emily replied with a small eye roll. "I just _want_ to"

"Why?" her sister sneered.

"Because she's nice and I like to spend time with her and she's my _friend_" Emily explained slowly, trying not to get mad at her sister.

"And Clara doesn't mind that you're meeting her, does she?" Katie asked her, a pointed bitchy look in her eyes.

Emily rolled her eyes hard.

"I don't see why Clara would even mind... Besides she's got nothing to worry about. Naomi is my _friend, _not like... her competition" she replied, properly annoyed now.

"Oh my _God_!" Katie shot back. "You haven't even told her, have you?"

Emily felt herself blush.

"It's just a bit hard to explain and I just... forgot to mention it before leaving and explaining it over the phone felt wrong... Anyway, she wouldn't care" she defended.

"You keep telling yourself that" Katie scoffed.

Emily tutted in response.

"Whatever Kay" she said under her breath. "I'll see you tomorrow morning, yeah?" she continued as she walked over to her sister.

"I still don't think you should go" her twin told her.

"Enjoy the rest of your night Katie" Emily finished, giving her sister a light kiss on the cheek and leaving the bathroom.

As she grabbed a coat and a hat and shouted her goodbyes to the rest of her family, Emily didn't feel as confident as she had with her twin though.

The thing was, Emily hadn't been completely honest with Katie. She hadn't _forgotten_ to tell Clara about the blonde, she just hadn't. It wasn't like she had out right lied to her girlfriend though. She had just simply chosen not to bring the subject up and, of course, Clara hadn't known there was anything to bring up at all. Emily had felt rather good about that choice as well before leaving. It wasn't like she had a secret agenda where Naomi was concerned; she'd made her decision about that the year before. Still, Katie's little bathroom interrogation brought on a few doubts.

Should she have told Clara about Naomi? Should she feel guilty that she hadn't?

No, Emily told herself stubbornly. Naomi was a _friend_ and Emily had every right to go for a drink with her if she wanted to. Besides, Clara had never shown possessive tendencies. Even if she _had_ told her, the redhead felt certain she _wouldn't_ have cared.

She couldn't let Katie, of all people, make her doubt herself. So what if Katie thought Emily had other motives for meeting Naomi? What did she even know?

When Emily made it to the pub, she'd managed to work herself up a little. She walked towards the bar, fully intending on ordering a drink right away to calm herself. She was half way there when she was stopped by two strong arms grabbing her from behind.

Her heart leapt in her chest forcefully, her breath hitched and her muscles tensed as the arms wrapped themselves around her and she felt herself being pressed against a body. Just as she was about to panic though, a whiff of a familiar perfume hit her nostrils. _Naomi_, she thought, her body immediately relaxing. She was no longer feeling grabbed, but rather hugged.

She smiled despite her surprise as a voice whispered bashfully in her ear:

"You're here"

Emily chuckled.

"Of course. I said I would, didn't I?" she shot back.

The arm loosened around her and Emily was able to turn around. She was still grinning broadly when her eyes fell on Naomi. The blonde was smiling as well, although she was also biting her bottom lip, seemingly trying to control herself.

"Aww, you worried I wouldn't show!" Emily teased.

"Shut up" Naomi replied with an eye roll, her cheeks getting red.

They looked at each other for a beat, until the blonde chuckled and shook her head.

"Okay... maybe I _was_ a bit worried..." she conceded.

Emily's smile widened and before she knew it, Naomi had wrapped her arms around her waist and was pulling her into another, proper hug this time. The redhead indulged her, wrapping her own arms around Naomi's neck, her heart beating abnormally fast as her body was pressed flushed against the blonde's. She decided to ignore that last part though.

Emily wasn't too sure how long the hug lasted, but eventually Naomi let go of her and when they parted, the redhead noticed how red the other girl's cheeks were. Her stomach churned at the sight.

"So, huh... Drink and then a table?" Naomi mumbled and Emily nodded.

They finished the short walk to the bar and the second he saw them, the bartender beamed.

"Hey! You're the dancing girls!" he exclaimed happily.

Both girl blushed before nodding shyly.

"Look!" the man continued. "We've set up a little dancing area in advance this year. Feel free to dance at any given time. It was real bloody great last year! The boss decided to start a tradition"

"Oh wow! That's amazing" Naomi replied, genuinely surprised.

"Innit?!" he said cheerfully. "Now what can I get you both?"

They ordered and shortly afterwards they were walking, drinks in hand, to a table further back. They had sat for half a second before Naomi set her blue eyes on Emily.

"Can you believe we've started a _tradition_ in this pub other than our own?" she said happily, her eyes flashing with something Emily didn't really recognise.

"Yeah I know..." she said a bit pensive. "It's hard to believe _we_ did that... I mean... This is special, isn't it?"

"Well... I reckon that you and I, Ems, we can make pretty much anything special..."Naomi trailed off, her cheeks tinted red.

Her eyes were still firmly set on the redhead, glinting in the dimmed light, the corners of her lips curved slightly. Suddenly, it was like the air around them had gotten heavier somehow and Emily felt like the blonde's stare was burning her skin. She gulped slowly.

"So how was Berlin? Are you still there?" she asked to break the silence.

Since she'd been looking right into Naomi's eyes, Emily saw them light up at the mention of the foreign city.

"Oh Ems!" she said wistfully. "It was _brilliant_! I mean, Berlin is just... I can't even say... just _brilliant_" she repeated.

Emily chuckled.

"Care to elaborate a bit more?" she teased.

"I don't even know where to start..." Naomi admitted, biting her bottom lip pensively.

"Don't 'start'. Just talk. Tell me anything" Emily said softly.

"Okay... Well, I'll tell you about my favourite place, alright?"

Emily nodded vigorously and Naomi smiled.

"Right so the place is called Spreepark. It's this old amusement park, build in the late 1960's or something I think. At first it was the German Democratic Republic's only amusement park, but then when the wall fell the park was privatized. Anyway, after that a lot of really crazy things happened to it. I was never told the details, but I've heard it's a mix of drug smuggling, bankruptcy and like imprisonment. So yeah, that happened and the park just closed. So for years the park was abandoned and the only way you could go was by breaking in, right? But yeah in 2001 the owners decided to open it for touring and I'd heard about it and went to check it out. And Ems... It was just... _beautiful_. Beautiful in a completely weird way, but beautiful nonetheless. The vegetations has grown through the structures in places and there are these big fibreglass dinosaurs that are rotting all over the place or just like graffiti of moustaches on random park characters and it's just so... _unique_. I fell in love with it instantly, you know? After the first time, I went a few others. They built a little café inside so I'd go and have a cuppa and just... soak the place up, right?"

"That sounds amazing..." Emily whispered reverently, her head swimming with images of large dinosaurs with mouldy noses or huge rides turned into shrubs.

"That's not even the best part yet!" Naomi exclaimed happily.

"Okay, go on"

"Right! So yeah, I'd been going fairly often when I mentioned it to this friend I'd made at work, Karen, and when I told her I was paying for the tour she just giggled. Apparently, Spreepark or 'plänterwald' isn't something you can enjoy with a tour. Naturally, I asked her how else I was supposed to enjoy it so one evening she told me to meet her a few corners away from the place. When I joined her, she made me follow her to this one spot. At first it looked like a giant wall of shrubs but then she disappeared inside them and grabbed my hand and the next thing I knew we were inside the park. I was a bit shocked but then she laughed and said that entering the park after hours and therefore illegally was _still_ the best way to experience it. And in all honesty... She was fucking right. We started walking around and it was just... a bit freaky with its monstrous structures in the dark but also captivating. The sun wasn't completely set so the rays would reflect on the metal, it was gorgeous. I was already really fucking impressed, but then she brought me by the big wheel and started climbing the frame. I freaked out at first, but then she laughed again so I followed her. She climbed like half way to the top, but it was still really fucking high. I was shaking like fuck when I reached the seat beside her. I was genuinely terrified, but then... then she nudged my shoulder and pointed to the horizon and... I mean... the sun was setting in a usual pinkish orange, I could see the main part of the city in the distance, some tall buildings, their windows gleaming in the last bits of light left, there was no noise around us and we were bloody sitting on an old broken big wheel. It was exhilarating Ems..." Naomi explained, her voice in a whisper. "When the sun had set properly, Karen took out a flashlight and we climbed back down. I was in such a high from the view that I didn't realise how dangerous it was. Anyway, I thought it would be it, but then Karen walked me to another spot where a big fire had been made, a few other kids hanging around. We introduced ourselves, they laughed at my pitiful German. There were the remnants of like... I dunno a love lake thingy, these white swan-shaped boats, all around the fire. So Karen dragged me to sit into one and we did and watched the fire as some kids sang and told stories or jokes. I just... When the night was over I knew I'd remember it forever. I went back to Spreepark after that. Sometimes with Karen, sometimes on my own. Sitting on that big wheel became one of my favourite thing to do. I know it was totally reckless and fucking dangerous, but at the top of that thing, above everything else, I felt so... alive. Just free, you know? Anyway... That's... that's how Berlin was. At least for me"

Emily stayed silent for a few seconds before muttering a small 'wow'.

She'd rarely heard a story so beautiful and she probably could have listened to Naomi talk for days, she reckoned. She wasn't sure what it was. She wasn't sure if it was the way her hands would move on their own or if it was the way she'd play with her lips, sometimes biting, sometimes licking. She wasn't sure if it was in the way her eyes got lost at times, looking at nothing, but seeing everything it seemed or if it was the way they'd flash with every emotion. Emily really didn't know what it was exactly that made her so captivated by everything Naomi said, but she knew she didn't care as long as the blonde continued talking.

"Yeah..." Naomi agreed, a goofy smile on her lips, her voice full of dreams.

"So are you still there? Are you still in Berlin?"

"No actually..." the blonde said, shaking her head. "My internship ended in early December. I'm currently back at my mum's"

Emily felt something at the bottom of her stomach flare at the information.

"Oh..." she said carefully, almost offhandedly. "So you're... back in Britain then?"

"Hum, yeah. For now at least..." the blonde replied with a shrug.

"For now?" Emily inquired, her voice wavering a bit. "Do you want to leave again?"

"Yeah well... I mean... I got some sort of offer... I... It's this organisation in Montreal... They've offered me a contract" she explained.

"Montreal?" the redhead inquired. "In Canada? That sounds..." she paused. "Cold"

Naomi chuckled at the description.

"That's an awfully limited way to describe it" she teased gently.

"I'm sorry" Emily blushed. "I don't know much about it"

"Well, from what I heard, it's supposed to be really fantastic. It's not known really well I think, but I've met a few people who went and they unanimously fell in love with the city. It's like... this small city bursting with arts and festivals and different cultures and stuff... Oh and apparently the food is fucking marvellous so..."

"Oh... it _does_ sound quite appealing when you put it like that" the redhead conceded. "So you're going to go there then?" she continued, her voice not as happy as she would have liked.

"I... I don't know" Naomi whispered, casting her eyes down as she bit her bottom lip uncertainly.

"You don't?" Emily inquired, her heart jumping a bit.

"Yeah..."

"Why are you hesitating?"

"Well... it's a two year contract for starters... So if I go, I'll be gone at least two years..." she started, licking her lips nervously. "And like... this is exactly the kind of contract I've always imagined taking... And Montreal is actually really close to a lot of cool places, like New York City which I kinda miss, so that's great..."

"But?" Emily pressed gently.

"But well... I just... don't know..." she said so softly Emily almost didn't hear her.

Then, she lifted her eyes from the table and locked them with the redhead's. Emily was transfixed the second the blue orbs graced her sight. Gosh she really loved Naomi's eyes. They stared in silence for a few seconds and then the blonde gulped.

"Maybe... Maybe I just want to... stay... like... _here_... In England... For a bit you know?" she finished, her eyes burning into Emily's.

It was the redhead who gulped slowly this time. She nodded, her heart beating seriously fast now, her hands trembling a bit.

"Right..." she heard herself reply, her voice huskier than usual.

They continued to stare in silence and Emily felt like her entire body had been taken over by worms, worms that were making her jittery, worms that were crawling underneath her skin in an unsettling, but not unpleasant way.

"Anyway..." Naomi eventually said, breaking the eye contact. "I'm still thinking about it"

She nodded and soon enough, they changed the subject.

Slowly, the worms left Emily's body and she breathed a little more easily. They continued to talk easily after that and even though the redhead was feeling a lot more relaxed, she couldn't keep the thought that Naomi might be staying in England this year very far out of her mind. She didn't know why it made her shiver to think about it, but it did.

The night progressed with different topics of conversation and glasses of alcohol. Around them in the pub, some people were dancing on the new temporary dance floor and every time Emily looked at it, she couldn't help but smile proudly.

Eventually the conversation fell onto the subject of work and the second it had, Naomi exclaimed loudly.

"_Oh_! I almost forgot, fuck! I've been meaning to say forever!" she said disbelievingly. "You, Emily Fitch, are a secretive cow!"

"What?!" Emily shot back with a laugh.

"When you told me you were in photography and all I figured you'd be good, you know, because, well, it's _you_, but fuck me! Ems, you're not just _good_, you're amazing! Terrifyingly talented actually and I feel cheated! Why didn't you tell me you were this bloody fantastic?" the blonde explained, completely serious.

Emily opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came. She stared at Naomi incredulously for a minute before the other girl shook her head.

"I mean, I've been getting your magazine _obviously_ and I just... I didn't expect that at all..." she finished, her voice so affectionate Emily felt like her heart was about to burst. "Your pictures... You made me think at times that that stupid theory of yours about things having souls might actually be _true_!"

"They _do_!" the redhead said through a chuckle.

"Whatever" Naomi waved off. "What I mean is... Your pictures have something in them and like... even the fucking useless things you took because you were obviously on an assignment. Even those have this _quality_ to them. This... _essence_, like they're really organic things and not... well _things_ things"

Emily's cheeks were hurting from smiling so much. No one had ever complimented her work like that. Her entire chest felt warm and about to explode of happiness. She'd had shallow girls compliment her before but most of them hadn't seen her work at all and were just pretending. The second that thought came to her mind, Emily felt a twinge of doubt course through her. As much as she didn't want Naomi to be faking, she had to check.

"What was your favourite photo?" she asked as casually as she could, hoping with all her heart that the blonde would have an answer.

"Oh that's easy!" Naomi replied promptly. "It's the picture you took of the lead dancer in Rambert's latest show. Although I really enjoyed that portrait of Randy the homeless and even Gerry the puppy" she continued, a smirk crossing her lips. "Shall I mention more of your pictures or did I pass your test?" she asked and Emily blushed.

She chuckled nervously at being busted but she was also so happy that the blonde really _did_ know her work and wasn't faking.

"You've passed..." Emily said shyly and Naomi chuckled.

"Good" she said smugly.

"Stop looking so pleased with yourself" the redhead chided, rolling her eyes.

"Why? It _is_ my best look"

Emily snorted and rolled her eyes again.

"Anyway, why is it your favourite?" she asked, focusing back on the actual subject.

"Are you kidding me?!" Naomi exclaimed astonished. "Have you _looked_ at it? Ems I've _never_ seen someone capture the essence of dance in one shot before. It's not even just the dancer herself... it's like... it's like you've also captured her love of dance and that's just... I mean she has that _smile _that's barely there in the picture and I can't believe you managed to snap it. Besides, it's the _Rambert Dance Company_! I absolutely love their work. Becoming a dancer for that company was my _dream_ between the ages of 3 and 6"

"Really? Aww, that's cute! I can totally imagine it! Tiny little Naomi wanting to be a star dancer" Emily cooed.

The blonde blushed a bit when she replied:

"Childhood dream..."

"Oh that's okay. It's actually a valid dream... When _I_ was a kid I wanted to be a cat..."

"What?!" The blonde snorted.

"I thought they were pretty and fluffy and they seemed to have a great life okay!" the redhead defended, laughing along though.

"Fuck, _that's_ adorable" Naomi said with the sweetest smile and Emily's heart fluttered.

They giggled together for a bit, laughing harder when the blonde started asking her how she had imagined she'd look like as a cat. When they'd calmed down, a bit tired from their laughing fit, Emily bit her bottom lip and regarded the other girl.

"Naomi?" she asked.

"Hum?"

"Do you want to know how I managed to take that picture the way I did?" she said seriously.

"Yes!" the blonde said automatically.

"I thought about you" Emily revealed simply.

The other girl's cheeks flared bright red and her eyes widened in surprise.

"About _me_?!" she inquired.

"Yeah... last year when I watched you dance... I noticed this expression on your face, on all of you actually, like you were completely blissfully happy. I... it was like nothing could touch you. You had that glow to you and I... well it was breathtaking and I remember wanting to capture the image so bad then... So when my boss gave me the Rambert assignment I jumped on the opportunity. I snapped pictures throughout the entire show frantically, trying desperately to catch that _one_ tiny shiny glow, which, you know, is hard because these dancers have characters to play and the show was a drama... but then I _saw_ it and I snapped as many pictures as I could. I was lucky enough to get one of it and... yeah... that's how" Emily explained, feeling weirdly breathless once she was done.

Naomi stared at her completely still for what felt like hours to the redhead but probably was a couple of seconds. Then, very slowly, she reached a hand forward and grabbed Emily's. Shivers ran all the way up the redhead's arm.

"This is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me..." the blonde muttered, completely serious.

"Is it? I can't imagine anyone seeing you dance and _not_ saying exactly that..." Emily mused.

A slow smile etched itself onto Naomi's lips and she shook her head in disbelief.

"You're something else entirely, aren't you Emily Fitch?" she asked.

Emily' heart expanded in her chest and she breathed in deep, extra conscious of the pressure of Naomi's hand on hers.

She opened her mouth to answer, but then, her mobile started vibrating in her pocket. She retrieved it with her free hand and when she saw the name 'Clara' flashing across it, she felt an equal jolt of excitement and guilt course through her spine.

"Just gonna take this" she mumbled to Naomi and then pressed the phone to her ear.

"Hey" she said into the phone.

_"Emilyyyyy!"_ the voice of her girlfriend pierced through her eardrums. _"Emimi... Emily! Babyyyy! Hi!"_

The redhead chuckled genuinely. Clearly, her girlfriend was highly intoxicated.

"Well hello... you alright there?" she teased.

_"I am FANtastic! I've got you on the phone! Audrey! It's my Emily on the phone! Isn't it fantastic?!"_ Clara screamed.

"Oh God" the redhead chuckled as she heard Audrey yell back:

_"Yes, bloody fucking brilliant, now stop yelling!"_

_"Oops!"_ Clara sniggered. _"Anyway, how are _you?_"_

"I'm quite good"

_"Bet I could make you feel better"_ Clara said, her voice huskier.

_"Fuck _NO_!" _the voice of Audrey shouted in the background. _"You cannot have phone sex right now! I can fucking hear you!"_

Emily giggled as her girlfriend whined.

_"Sorry, my cousin is being an arse"_ she said.

"No she's not" Emily countered.

_"Yes she is! I wanna say sexy things to you and she won't let me" _Clara moaned.

"I don't think you really want to do that in front of her hun..."

_"But I want to say that I-"_

_"I said NO phone sex!"_

_"Oh for fuck's sake alright! Urgh!" _

Emily laughed loudly.

"Babes, how drunk are you?" she asked, a smile on her lips.

_"Hum..."_Clara started as she considered the question. _"Quite trollied"_ she finally answered.

"Just what I thought" Emily laughed.

_"When is Christmas over? I miss you..." _

"I miss you too baby" the redhead said into the phone.

In that moment, Emily was conscious for the first time since she'd answered Clara's call that she had still been holding hands with Naomi. The realisation came when, suddenly, the blonde's hand tensed and was quickly withdrawn. Emily felt the loss of the digits instantly and closed her own to stop them from twitching.

_"Ems?"_ she heard Clara say.

"Hum? Sorry, what were you saying?" Emily said quickly, feeling her heart beat weirdly.

_"I was saying, I can't wait to see you..."_

"Me neither"

_"Also, when I see you next, I am going to ravish you so completely that-"_

_"Okay that's IT!" _Emily heard Clara's cousin interrupt and she started laughing.

_"No! Audrey don't-" _her girlfriend whined in reply.

_"_Give_ me the bloody phone!" Audrey_ said.

_"Nooooooo, Ems baby I miss you! I'll see you-"_ Clara started to say and then the line was cut off.

Emily continued to laugh to herself for a few seconds, before closing the mobile and putting it back into her pocket. When she looked up and her eyes met troubled looking blue ones, her laughter died in her throat.

She didn't try to say something. She just sat and looked into Naomi's blue eyes, feeling uncomfortable although she wasn't sure why.

"You have a girlfriend..." Naomi eventually said, her voice even, flat.

"Yeah" Emily confirmed.

"You didn't tell me..." she said next.

It was the little hint of accusation in Naomi's voice that prompted Emily's reply next.

"It didn't come up" she said seriously, her teeth clenching for half a second.

Naomi's eyes widened and then she frowned. It was clear to Emily that the blonde wasn't sure how to take that comment; was Emily kidding or serious? In all truth, the redhead wasn't sure if she'd intended it as an accusation or a joke either. It was probably a bit of both.

The longer the silence stretched though, the more awkward things became. Then, Naomi's eyes filled with sadness and that made Emily flinch. She cracked a smile. Instantly, the blonde's lips curved upwards as well.

"Okay, I deserved that" she admitted as Emily nodded. "Right... so hum... girlfriend, eh?" she asked, her voice a bit higher than usual.

"Yeah... her name is Clara"

"Hum... Clara... splendid" Naomi continued, her voice just as high, her eyes no longer staring into Emily's. "Nice solid name, that"

The redhead cocked an eyebrow real high at that last comment and Naomi snorted.

"Okay forget that part... Anyway... how long have you been dating?" she inquired.

"Just 4 months"

"Oh, so it's fairly new"

"Yeah it is" Emily nodded.

"And what does she do for a living? Where did you meet?" the blonde asked.

For a second, Emily had a feeling she was being interrogated, but she shook the thought away. Naomi had the right to be curious.

"She's an assistant on various movie sets at the moment, but she wants to be a director one day. Gotta start somewhere right? And her cousin is a co-worker. We met through her" she answered diligently.

Naomi nodded approvingly, although she looked a bit stiff.

"Good..." she mumbled. "So hum... it's going well? I mean... She's a nice girl, right?" she asked.

"Yes, of course. She's amazing" Emily replied genuinely.

Something flashed across Naomi's eyes for half a second, but Emily had not been looking at that moment and therefore missed it. When she looked back at the blonde, the girl was serious and her expression was unreadable.

"So... you're happy, yeah? She makes you happy?" Naomi asked softly.

Emily bit her bottom lip shyly and nodded.

"Yeah... yeah she does"

Naomi smiled, although it didn't reach her eyes.

"Great" she said, her voice a bit robotic.

Emily nodded.

"I'm glad you're happy... You deserve to be happy..." she added and this time, her voice sounded more sincere, more human.

"Thank you" the redhead smiled.

They stared at each other for a while until something occurred to Emily.

"Hey, how about you? How are things with your boyfriend?"

"My what?!" Naomi asked, looking really confused.

Emily's eyes widened.

"Your _boyfriend_" she repeated. "You know... the Russian..."

"Oh!" the blonde exclaimed. "You mean Victor? Wow! I haven't thought of him in _ages_!" she said, reminiscent.

"So I take it you guys are no longer together..."

"Yeah, no! We broke up like... last February" Naomi replied casually.

"But... I thought he moved to Germany with you..."

"He _did_... Actually, that was the start of the problem... He wanted to be really serious. He started talking about getting a house together and kids and I mean _wow_! I didn't know guys could be this intense!" Naomi chuckled.

"Don't you _want_ kids and all that...?" Emily asked in a whisper, her heart squeezing painfully at the idea that the blonde might not want that life at all, but not knowing why.

"Oh maybe... I mean... I don't _hate_ kids... I just... I didn't want _his_... and especially not now" she replied.

Emily's heart felt lighter afterwards.

"I can't believe you thought I was still with him" Naomi chuckled. "Did you not hear my story about Spreepark earlier and how Karen showed me and all? I mean, no one wants to impress their _friend_ that much"

Emily's mouth opened in the shape of an O and Naomi nodded. She felt her cheeks burn red.

"But you said... you _said_ Karen was a friend" the redhead said confusedly.

"Oh she is _now_" Naomi explained. "She wasn't for a bit"

Emily nodded. She had this weird dual feeling at the bottom of her stomach. Part of it was feeling queasy, part of it definitely didn't enjoy talking about Naomi's conquests, but another part was actually happy that this time the conquest in question was a woman. Emily guessed it was reassuring in a way to know that Naomi really _was_ definitely interested in women that way. She wasn't sure why it was though. Decidedly, there were a fair few things Emily couldn't explain.

Another silence installed itself between them, but before it had time to get awkward, the lights flickered. They both looked up and then at each other again.

"Guess this means it's over" Naomi said with a half smile.

"Yeah..." Emily nodded.

They grabbed their coats and walked to the exit. They stepped outside and the second they did, Naomi pulled out a pack of fag, pulling one out between her lips and lighting it the next second.

"I didn't know you smoked..." Emily commented.

Naomi looked at her and nodded a bit sheepishly.

"I... I'm trying to quit actually" she admitted.

"Let me help you then..." Emily replied, walking up to Naomi.

The next second, she had plucked the fag right out of the blonde's lips and had thrown it on the ground. Naomi gawked at her for several seconds, her gob wide open. Emily couldn't help but laugh loudly.

"I can't believe you just did that!" she said, half shocked, half impressed.

"Well, these things are bad for you so..."

"I'm not sure I should thank you regardless..."

"Oh no, you definitely should!" Emily teased, her smirk not as confident as she felt it should have been.

She looked at Naomi for a few seconds, wondering why things were so stiff between them.

"Naomi... We're okay right?" she asked uncertainly.

"Of course" the blonde replied. "Why wouldn't we be?"

"I don't know..."

"Then don't worry about it"

When Emily still looked a bit worried, Naomi sighed and walked towards her, her arms slipping around her shoulders and bringing her closer. Emily sneaked her arms around the blonde's waist and finally felt her body relax. They stayed like that for maybe a minute, maybe more. Then, slowly and a bit begrudgingly Emily thought, they let go.

"So should I take your number this year? I mean if you stay in England..." Emily asked, a hint of hope flaring in her chest.

Naomi's expression turned guarded in a fraction of a second.

"Actually... the more I think about it the more I think I'm going to take that offer... I mean... It's a great offer and Montreal sounds really amazing... Besides, staying in England sounds a bit too much like settling down... I don't think I'm ready for that" the blonde explained with a shrug, her eyes looking at everything but Emily.

"Oh okay..." she said, feeling crestfallen, but not that surprised.

She sighed.

"But I'll see you here next year, right? I mean, you'll come back for Christmas?" she inquired, looking at the blonde.

Naomi's eyes lifted and met Emily's. Her guarded expression had vanished.

"Always" she said firmly. "You'll _always_ find me here on Christmas, Ems. I promise"

Emily's heart fluttered and she beamed.

She liked that promise. She liked it a lot. Again, she wasn't sure exactly why she liked it so much. She'd have to figure it out one day, she reckoned. She'd have to figure it all out. But not today.

.

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**I hope this was worth the wait! I hope you guys are still interested to read the end of this despite it's not Christmas anymore. Let me know okay? Take care of you guys! Lots of love! **

**MMxx**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Yay :D So glad you guys are still on board! Thank you so so much for the lovely comments and such. It's a wonderful way to get back to my writing, let me tell you!**

**That being said, I am slightly giggling at how eager you guys are for them to get their shit together :P Isn't that always the problem though? When will they just **_**get **__**it**_**! They are made for each other right? Well, **_**we**_** know obviously, but they don't. All in good time folks ;) **

**P.S: Did anyone get the Avatar reference last chapter? Any Avatar geeks out there? **

**.**

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**Chapter 8: The Eight year **

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.

The next year, Emily was so busy that it seemed to roll by faster than any previous year Emily could remember. She wasn't sure if it was due to the fact that she had slowly gained experience and notoriety at work and her boss had started sending her on nicer, but tougher and longer assignments or if it was the fact that her relationship with Clara had continued to bloom and evolve and suddenly demanded more out of her.

Whether it was work or Clara though, it was undeniable that Emily had been busier than ever this past year. So busy that she had barely found the time to work on her own photographs and personal projects and that, she had to admit, was a bit of a problem.

As much as she liked her job, Emily had always dreamed of putting up her own exposition. Finding the time to work on her dream had never been a problem before, but with her extra work load and all the time she needed to devote to her relationship, it had become one.

It wasn't like there was much she could do about it, was there? She didn't want to switch job and besides, she _liked_ that she was finally being assigned to bigger projects. They usually required more out of her, that much was only normal, but they also demanded some creativity that hadn't been needed before. And it was inspiring, God it really was. Emily had always loved that most about photography. She'd always liked that she could express a part of her silently, wordlessly. She'd always loved that she could _think_ of something, _feel_ it inside her heart and then put it forth. It was this love, this _need_ for creativity, for self expression that had made her switch degrees in Uni. And now that she could actually put some of her passion for photography into her work, there was no way she'd let it go.

And as for Clara, even if the relationship was also quite time consuming, Emily didn't want to break it off. The truth was, she loved Clara, she really did. They fitted together on so many levels, they made so much _sense_. They were happy together, rarely ever argued and when they did, it usually was for silly reasons and blew over shortly afterwards. They weren't living together, but they spent most nights together at either one of their flats. They'd developed a life together and Emily liked it. She liked their life together and she loved her girlfriend. Clara was smart and funny and gorgeous. Sure, the girl was also a bit demanding at times, but it wasn't _that_ much of a problem. They were good. Or at least, Emily thought they were.

It was probably because of this certainty that they were good, that they were solid, that Emily couldn't have guessed how everything would unfold.

It all started in September, Emily reckoned. It was, after all, the first time Clara brought up the subject. The redhead could still remember where she had been. Sitting in her living room, her laptop in her lap, her brow furrowed as she edited a set of pictures from a recent project. It had been casual then, that first time. Clara had sat down next to her, her hand finding the back of Emily's neck, the redhead immediately purring at the contact.

"This a good time to talk to you?" Clara had asked, knowing that sometimes when Emily was too focused on her work it was best to let her be.

"Huh uh" the redhead had nodded.

"I was just wondering, what are our plans for the Christmas Holidays this year?" She'd asked, her fingers gently massaging.

"Hummm..." Emily had moaned, almost not paying attention. "I don't know... Why?"

"Well... I was sort of thinking... We've been together a year now and you've never met my family... What if you came to Scotland with me for Christmas?" she'd said casually.

Emily had felt herself tense instantly, her fingers freezing on the keyboard. Clara had felt it too.

"Something wrong?" she'd said, her fingers stationary on the redhead's neck.

"No..." she'd replied more because it was the right thing to say than because it was true.

"You don't want to meet my family?" Clara had asked, hurt apparent in her voice.

"Of course I do!" Emily had argued. "I just... I'm not sure yet what the plans are for Christmas in my family this year... I mean, if Katie's coming and all... you know how my mum gets..."

"Only from what you've told me..." Clara had replied, retrieving her hand from Emily's neck. "I've not actually met her, have I?"

"Clara..."Emily had sighed. "Do we have to talk about this now? It's September..."

Her girlfriend had been a bit reluctant, but they'd dropped the subject. It _had_ only been September after all.

When she'd brought up the subject again in October though and Emily still hadn't wanted to discuss it, Clara had dropped it with a little more difficulty. The redhead had managed to convince her not to get into it by bringing up her extra work load and the fact that she still didn't know Katie's plans. It had worked. But only for October.

When November rolled around, nothing could make Clara drop the subject.

"I called Katie" Clara told her one day in early November.

"What?! Why?"

"I wanted to know her plans for Christmas" she said simply.

Emily felt a pang of anger erupt deep inside her chest.

"For fuck's sake Clara..." she muttered irritably under her breath. "Why did you do that?"

"Well _clearly_ you weren't going to. Someone had to" her girlfriend replied smartly.

The redhead couldn't have hidden the look of frustration that flashed across her features if she'd tried. She hated when Clara spoke to her like that.

"Want to know what she said?"

Emily shrugged and Clara pursed her lips, visibly annoyed by the redhead's disinterest.

"She said she and Jeremy were going to his dad's for Christmas..." Clara provided anyway.

"Okay" Emily said, not meeting her girlfriend's eyes.

"She said they'd make it to Bristol for New year's" she continued.

"Okay" the petite repeated.

Clara paused for a few seconds, clearly waiting for Emily to add anything, but when the redhead didn't she sighed heavily.

"So... Since Katie won't be there for Christmas... I figured we could spend Christmas with my family and then spend New Year's with yours..." the brunette suggested.

Something in Emily's stomach churned uncomfortably. She bit her bottom lip uncomfortably.

"Well?" Clara urged, expectantly.

"I don't know..." the redhead replied slowly.

"What?" her girlfriend asked disbelievingly. "What don't you know?"

"I just... Christmas has always meant Bristol for me..." She argued.

"And Christmas has always meant Scotland for me..." Clara countered.

"I know... I'm not asking you to come to Bristol instead I'm just saying that the idea of spending Christmas elsewhere feels wrong..."

Clara stared at her for a few seconds.

"And you're not willing to think about it?" she asked eventually, her voice filled with disappointment.

Emily's heart squeezed painfully in response.

"No, of course not... I mean, of course I'll think about it" she said quickly. "Let's drop this for now though, yeah? I'll think about it, but not like... now... yeah?" she asked desperately.

Reluctantly, Emily could tell, Clara nodded.

The rest of the night had been well awkward and when they'd gone to bed a few hours later, Clara had turned her back to Emily. The redhead had sighed and cuddled her anyway.

She'd thought about it afterwards, she really had. She'd even called Katie herself to confirm her sister's plans, feeling like the worst human being ever when she'd ended up half begging her twin to come to Bristol. Katie had refused, obviously.

In all truth, Emily wasn't sure why she was so desperate to be in Bristol for the entire holidays. She wasn't sure if it was because she truly couldn't imagine spending that time of the year away from her family or if it was because she didn't feel ready to meet her girlfriend's family. Maybe it was a bit of both. Maybe it was something else. All she knew though was that it all felt wrong somehow.

After their last fight, Emily had dreaded the day Clara would bring the subject up again after that. She'd foolishly hoped it wouldn't be brought up at all, but she knew her hopes were futile.

"Did you think about it?" Clara asked one evening.

Emily's breath hitched in response, her heart beating fast, her palms starting to sweat automatically.

"Yeah..." she replied slowly.

"And?"

The redhead bit her bottom lip nervously, preparing herself.

"I... I don't think me going to Scotland is a good idea..." she started explaining slowly.

"Why?" Clara asked, the roughness of her tone making Emily wince.

"I just... Christmas means Bristol... I can't imagine it elsewhere..."

"So you're not willing to make an exception?" her girlfriend said incredulously. "And what? Am I just supposed to spend every Christmas with _your_ family now because you're not willing to make exceptions?"

"No... of course not..." Emily sighed. "You can go to Scotland if you'd like... I'm just not going to come along..."

Clara's eyes widened and a flash of hurt crossed her features.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" she scoffed.

"What?" Emily asked confused.

"You're serious? You think I should just go to Scotland and you to Bristol?"

"Well... yeah?" the redhead said uncertainly.

She couldn't understand why her girlfriend seemed so angry all of a sudden.

"So if I understand you correctly, your 'plan' for Christmas is that we spend it apart? With no possibility of spending it together?" she asked, her voice shaking with anger.

"It's only a few days..." Emily defended with a shrug. "Besides, it's the only solution I can see"

"The only solution?!" Clara exclaimed. "What about you inviting me into _your_ family?! What about _that_ solution?!"

The redhead opened her mouth to reply, but the words got stuck in her throat.

"Fuck's sake, you didn't even consider the option, did you?" her girlfriend said completely incredulous. "That's great Emily... really fucking wonderful..." she shook her head, her voice bitter.

The petite woman stayed silent for a few seconds, until tears welled up in Clara's eyes and the girl got up and walked to the door purposefully.

"No that's not..." Emily tried to explain, getting up as well to follow her girlfriend. "I... I thought you wanted to spend Christmas with your family!" she said.

When Clara didn't turn around, but continued to gather her stuff to leave, Emily grabbed her wrist gently.

"Clara, babes, of course you're invited!" she said.

The brunette turned around and Emily was startled to see tears down her cheeks.

"Baby..." she muttered softly, her heart catching in her throat. "Please don't go... you can come to Bristol with me if you want..."

"Do you want me to come?" Clara asked her completely seriously.

"Of- Of course" Emily replied with a half smile, stumbling on her words.

More tears fell down Clara's eyes, she didn't seem convinced. In all honesty, Emily wasn't convinced either.

"I'll see you tomorrow" Clara told her calmly, closing the distance between them to place a barely there kiss on the redhead's lips.

Then, she had shaken away Emily's grip on her wrist, had turned around and had left the flat. Emily hadn't even tried to stop her.

In retrospective, the petite girl should have known in that moment that things could only get worse.

They'd seen each other the next day, as Clara had said, but things had been different. Emily had felt uneasy and her girlfriend had been cold and standoffish.

The days that had followed had been characterized by bad sleep, an upset stomach and a constant feeling of having been punched in the throat for Emily. She hadn't been sure how they were for Clara, but she feared they hadn't been much better.

It had stayed like that though all the way to December. When the month had rolled in, everything had changed. When Clara had met her one evening at her flat, a sombre expression on her face, Emily had feared the worst. She'd been right to.

"Ems?" she said before Emily had time to kiss her. "Can we talk?"

The redhead felt her heart drop low into her stomach and gulped before nodding slowly.

"What's up?" she asked when they walked into the kitchen, sitting at the table.

Clara looked at her for a few seconds before sighing.

"Emily... I... You know I love you, right?" she said, her voice shaking a bit.

"Yes of course... and I love you too" the redhead replied, suddenly feeling nauseous.

"Good... So you'll understand this isn't easy for me..." she continued, tears forming in her eyes.

"Clara... what's wrong baby?" Emily asked, genuinely worried.

At the term of endearment, the tears trailed down the Brunette's cheeks.

"Christ..." Clara mumbled. "This is so hard... I... Ems... This... this is wrong..."

"What is?" Emily asked confusedly.

"Us, Ems... _We_'re wrong" she cried in response.

The redhead's heart winced in pain and nausea climbed up her throat.

"Wha- what?" she said. "Us? No... Clara, no! We're not wrong! We're... we're so good together!"

The brunette shook her head, more tears falling down her cheeks.

"No. It's not working... I... I can't do this anymore... Emily I love you so much, but this is just not working"

"What, why? How?" the redhead asked, tears forming in her own eyes now.

"How?" Clara repeated. "Don't you see? We've been together for over a year, yet I've never met your family and you've never met mine... We've been together for over a year, yet you won't even spend Christmas with me... Emily... this isn't working..."

"What?!" Emily choked. "You can't be serious? You want to break up with me because of the _Christmas_ thing?!"

"It's not just that..." Clara argued.

"Well what is it then?"

"I... I just... I don't think we're on the same page Ems..."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Emily asked angrily.

"It means that I love you more than I can say. I _love_ you Emily, I'm completely in love with you... But I don't think you feel the same..." Clara croaked through hiccoughs.

"What?!" Emily thundered. "Jesus baby! I _do_! I _love_ you too! I'm crazy about you! You know that!"

The redhead was horrified when Clara shook her head stubbornly.

"No Emily... I don't actually... Because... You _say_ you love me, but... but I feel... I feel this distance between us... Like you're not fully into this, like sometimes I want to see you and I _know_ you'd rather work on your projects... and I just... Don't you see that there is _never_ anything I'd rather do then be with you? And I know you don't feel that way and it fucking breaks my heart, you know..."

"A distance? No Clara, you're wrong... I... I..." Emily tried to argue.

The words caught somewhere between her throat and her mouth though.

"I think... I think you're not completely into this Ems..." Clara continued with difficulty. "Like... like you're not completely emotionally available and I just... I just don't think it's gonna change babe" she whispered before sobbing.

"Clara..." Emily tried to coo, but she was crying as well.

"I- I _know_ it can't change Ems because- because" Clara tried to push through her tears. "Because you're not that kind of person. You're not a guarded person babes... You're not the kind of person who just keeps an emotional distance for safety so... so... _Jesus_... So I ju- just think it's me"

The brunette stopped speaking as hot tears escaped her eyes and sobs climbed up her throat. There were so many things Emily wanted to say as the other girl cried, but none of these things found their way to her mouth.

"I- I think I'm just not the right person for you because if I was, there would be no distance... So... yeah... I just think it's better if we end this now" she finished painfully, her eyes so full of sadness.

"But... but Clara, I _do_ love you... I... Please let me find a way to fix this. I _love_ you" Emily insisted, her voice low and croaky from her tears.

Clara's eyes seemed to darken further and more tears fell out.

"I know you do... At least some, but... It's just... It's not enough... the love you feel for me is not enough" the brunette whispered sadly.

The words hit Emily like a sucker punch to the heart. Her head swam as an ugly sob escaped her lips. Clara cried harder as well, before sniffling and getting up.

"I'm sorry..." she said, walking away.

Emily didn't try to stop her. It was over. Her head fell into her hands and she cried, her heart jolting painfully with every beat. She'd never felt so lost before, so completely useless and clueless. How could Clara feel like her love hadn't been enough? Emily loved her, as much as she knew how, yet it hadn't been enough. That thought hurt more than anything she'd ever known.

She'd cried for a long time that night, long after Clara had left. In fact, Emily doubted she'd slept at all. She'd called in sick at work the next day, not feeling much better. One day had turned into the rest of the week and once she'd explained the situation to her boss quickly, the woman had been nice and understanding.

It had taken a week of Emily staying in her flat and doing nothing before Katie had come barging in, wanting to know exactly why her sister wasn't answering her phone. She'd been furious when she'd walked into the place, but when she'd spotted Emily, all the anger had left her body and she'd rushed over to comfort her twin who had immediately started crying again the second Katie's arms were around her.

After that awful first week, Emily had felt strong enough to go back to work, but every evening, Katie would come over to her flat for dinner. She'd tried to tell her sister it wasn't necessary, but telling Katie that was as pointless as telling a toddler not to put everything in its mouth- she could hear it and understand it, but that didn't change the fact that she was going to do it anyway.

In all honesty, Emily hadn't minded that much. It _had_ felt good to have Katie by her side. It was perhaps two weeks after the break up though that Katie's silent support changed and she dared to ask questions. Emily wished she hadn't.

"Emsy? Can I ask you something?" she said tentatively.

"Hum?" Emily replied.

"Did it have anything to do with Naomi? I mean... the reason you were so adamant about spending Christmas at mum and dad's... Did it also have something to do with your tradition with Naomi?" she asked seriously.

The question hit her like a brick. Not one second had she considered that when she'd been discussing her Christmas plans with Clara. Not once had she consciously realised that spending a Christmas outside of Bristol would mean skipping on her yearly tradition with Naomi. It hadn't crossed her mind, not that she could remember at least, yet now that Katie had asked, Emily found herself wondering.

"Course not..." she replied anyway.

"You sure?" Katie inquired doubtfully.

"Christ Katie, what are you even trying to say? That I chose Naomi over Clara? That I didn't want to go to Scotland for Christmas because I wanted to see Naomi more? That's fucked up" Emily spat back angrily, feeling only slightly guilty that she wasn't 100% sure that there was no truth to this theory.

"Emsy, I was just asking, please don't get angry" Katie backtracked immediately.

"No, I'm sorry" Emily sighed. "I don't know why I snapped... Truth is... I... I'm not sure why it was so important for me to be in Bristol for Christmas, okay? What I _do_ know for sure though is that my girlfriend just dumped me and it hurts like hell" she finished, her voice tight, her eyes tearing up.

Katie nodded and wrapped her arms around her and the subject was dropped.

Of course though, just like every little thing Katie had ever brought to her attention, Emily couldn't help thinking about it. In fact, she was still thinking about it a week later on Christmas Eve as she walked into the night, hands deep into her pockets, her nose buried into her scarf.

The traditional Fitch Christmas dinner had been a bit of a mess. Her mum had asked her countless times to explain her break up and Emily had felt like disappearing or exploding each time. If she'd not hated the time when her mother had been too terrified of her orientation to dare mention it, Emily might have missed it. As it was though, as painful as her mother's confusion and questions were, she still liked it better than the denial she'd splashed her with when she had first came out.

As good as her mother's acceptance was though, Emily was more than relieved when dinner was over and she stepped outside the house. Sadly, it took about a second for the relief to be replaced by anxiety and it was all Katie's fault.

As Emily walked, her head down, the silent night engulfing her, all she could think about was her sister's words.

_Did it have anything to do with Naomi?_

And as she walked more and more, her steps undeniably leading her to the pub where she _knew_ Naomi would be, Emily let herself wonder, did it?

_No_, was the first answer that came to her mind.

Sure, she'd felt this questionable unease at the idea of being out of Bristol for Christmas, but it hadn't because of Naomi, had it? Since she was a little girl, Emily had always spent Christmas Eve with her parents and that was what it had all been about. The dinner, the singing with her mother as she did the dishes, her father's boring stories and James' awful comments. That was what Christmas was for her. Every single detail of it was what made her heart flare with love and happiness. Her family, so dysfunctional at times perhaps, was still always _hers_ and no matter how they fought sometimes, Christmas always meant an unlimited amount of love.

That was what had been important to her.

And Naomi? Well, Emily wasn't sure. She guessed Naomi was an added bonus. Her little added Christmas light, she could concede to that, but not to the fact that Naomi had somehow been her main motivator. She couldn't be.

Emily arrived in front of the pub quicker than she expected. She pushed her way inside and quickly scanned the place. She wasn't overtly surprised when she didn't spot Naomi anywhere. She shrugged to herself and walked to the bar to buy herself a drink. The bartender greeted her happily and a minute later she was served and walking to a table at the back of the place. She sat on her own and waited.

She'd been sat for about 2 seconds when a huge wave of sadness washed over her. Emily closed her eyes to try and control the tears that were quickly developing, to try to ease the tension she could feel building in her throat.

Katie's theory was ridiculous, she thought. How could Naomi have been in any way a factor when it was clear to the redhead that she had been in love with Clara? She still was actually, she reminded herself, biting down on her bottom lip to stop a sob from escaping her.

"Hey" the unmistakable voice of Naomi said behind her.

_Great_, Emily thought. What a great timing.

"Been waiting long?" Naomi continued and Emily opened her eyes.

Her heart caught in her chest as she saw her, casual as ever, her hands in the pockets of the dark green jacket she was wearing. Her stomach churned and she frowned when Naomi didn't make any move towards her, but dropped down onto the chair facing the redhead instead. What, no hug?

"Sorry if I-" she started but interrupted herself.

Her eyes widened. Still so blue, Emily thought.

"Ems?" the blonde asked her, leaning a bit closer although her hands remained in her pockets. "I... Are you okay?"

"Wha-?" Emily started to reply, but felt the moisture on her cheeks.

She lifted a hand carefully to her face and realised the tears had fallen without her noticing. She blushed and brushed the tears away.

"I- I'm fine" she mumbled, not daring to look at the blue eyes.

She could feel that Naomi was uncomfortable and she hated it.

"So how was your year?" she asked as cheerfully as she could, her voice only breaking a bit.

Naomi's eyebrows furrowed further.

"How's Canada?" Emily continued.

"Emily..." Naomi muttered, her voice soft and filled with worry.

"Naomi, don't" the redhead brushed off. "I'm fine... Let's just... let's just talk about you, okay? Just... just" she tried to push forward, but her voice broke completely this time.

Emily stared at the table, new tears forming in her eyes. She felt so pathetic. Twice. Twice now she'd met up with Naomi with tears in her eyes and a broken heart.

Emily didn't move as she tried to control her breathing. If she could just focus on her breathing long enough, then she'd forget why it was so hard to breathe in the first place.

In her peripheral vision, she could see Naomi hesitating, static on her chair, her dark brows still furrowed confusedly. When tears fell down on the table though, Emily unable to stop them, something seemed to click inside Naomi and she quickly got up and walked over to the redhead.

The next second, her hands were on Emily's thighs and she turned the petite woman around in her seat to face her. When the redhead stubbornly kept her head down, her entire body feeling warmer now that Naomi was touching her, the blonde lifted her hands and placed then delicately on her cheeks, lifting her head up until their eyes met.

Blue met brown and the intensity of the stare burned. Emily gulped slowly, as tears strolled down her cheeks and Naomi observed her seriously. After a moment, she seemed to have formed a conclusion, because her face softened and she looked at the redhead sadly.

"Oh Ems..." she whispered. "You're not fine"

The statement hadn't been accusatory or assuming, but the second it crossed the blonde's lips, Emily felt something inside her chest break. More tears spilled out of her eyes and a rough sob escaped her and before she knew it, Naomi grabbed her by the neck and embraced her.

Emily fell into her arms automatically and without restraint. She grabbed fistfuls of the blonde's shirt as she hid her face in the crook of Naomi's neck, sobs making her entire body shake violently. Naomi held her close for as long as she cried. And cry, she certainly did.

Even when Katie had come round that first week, Emily doubted she'd cried as thoroughly as she did now. There was something about Naomi, something about the fact that all Emily's senses were invaded by her touch and her scent, that was making the redhead feel safe. She cried until her heart slowed down on its own, until tiredness washed over her. And then, she slowly let go of the blonde.

The petite woman wiped her nose on her sleeve and blushed when she noticed how crumpled Naomi's jacket was where she'd clutched it.

"I'm so sorry" she mumbled uncomfortably. "I keep doing that to you, I'm such a mess..."

"Don't" Naomi cut her off softly, a hand lifting to brush more tears off Emily's cheek.

A shiver travelled down the redhead's jaw and she averted her eyes.

"What happened?" the blonde asked, grabbing her chair and sitting much closer to Emily than she'd previously been.

"I..." Emily mumbled, her throat squeezing painfully.

"You don't have to tell me if-" Naomi started but stopped when the redhead shook her head.

"It's not that" Emily promised. "I don't mind telling you... I... My girlfriend broke up with me" she admitted bitterly.

"What, today?!" Naomi asked completely shocked.

The look on her face was so adorably confused and outraged that Emily felt a surprising surge of laughter ripple through her.

"God no! Not today, at the beginning of the month" she explained.

"Oh..." Naomi nodded. "Okay... well... good... wait, no! Not good, but like... better... Or I mean... Christ"

Emily giggled again, the sound weird with her post crying voice.

"I'm glad you're finding this amusing" the blonde commented, one eyebrow quirked curiously.

"I don't" Emily said with a sigh. "But your awkwardness is"

"I'm so glad I can be of service" Naomi scoffed and Emily smiled.

"Yeah... thanks for being here" the redhead continued, serious this time.

Every hint of amusement disappeared from the blonde's face.

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else" she said.

Emily gulped and they stared at each other intensely until Naomi blinked and blushed.

"So huh... do you want to talk about it? I mean... what happened?" she inquired.

"I'm not sure..." Emily sighed. "I... I thought everything was okay and then... then she said it wasn't working... That I was... emotionally distant..."

"She said that?" Naomi asked, her eyebrow shooting up again. "About you?"

"Yeah" Emily nodded. "What? Why are you looking so surprised?"

"It's just... Emotionally distant is not something I'd ever think to associate with _you_... More... well, anyway..."

"No, tell me. More what?"

"Well... more... _me_. That's something a lot of people have said about me actually, but you? I just... That's not how I know you at all..." Naomi admitted.

Emily smiled and tilted her head. It was a bit funny how Naomi seemed to know her, or at least how it felt like Naomi knew her when all they had ever had was one day every year. It felt impossible in a way, but the redhead could feel it in her bones. Naomi _did_ know her.

"I never thought anyone would say that about me either" Emily said sadly. "She said... She said she didn't think I loved her..."

Naomi seemed to hesitate this time, her teeth finding her bottom lip nervously. She cleared her throat and averted her eyes for a moment.

"And huh... Did you? Did you love her?" she asked, uncertainly, her eyes finding Emily's again as she asked.

Her expression was guarded, careful. Emily had never seen her look like that before.

"Yes, of course I did. I still do" she answered anyway, her throat squeezing uncomfortably.

The redhead wasn't sure if it was a figment of her imagination but she thought she saw the blonde wince. She didn't have time to confirm it though because the next second, it seemed like Naomi had rearranged her features.

"She was stupid not to believe you then" the blonde said evenly, almost clinically.

"She... she sort of did..." Emily recalled painfully. "I mean... she said... she said she knew I loved her in my own way, but..."

The redhead stopped speaking for a second, her throat burning. She could feel new tears forming in her eyes. She sniffled loudly and sighed.

"She said the love I had for her wasn't enough" she finished in a whisper, looking decidedly at the table in front of her.

She waited in silence for Naomi to say something.

"She said that?" the blonde eventually muttered. "Christ" she scoffed.

Emily lifted her gaze and her eyes widened when she spotted the look of disdain on Naomi's face.

"Look... I know you still love that girl, but can I just say? What a fucking bitch" the blonde said with a shake of her head. "I can' believe she'd say something like that to you..."

The redhead had rarely felt so torn over something in her entire life. On the one hand, she wanted to smile at Naomi's outrage, but on the other, she felt compelled to defend Clara.

"She didn't mean it like _I_ wasn't enough... She just... she felt like I didn't love her as much as she loved me..." she explained sheepishly.

"Who is she to decide that?" Naomi scoffed. "Who is she to decide how you feel?"

"She wasn't... I... I think she was just not feeling it... I know she didn't mean to hurt me when she said that. It was just how she felt"

"Didn't mean to hurt you? _Jesus_! How did she think you'd take something like that? That's something awful to say to someone"

Emily felt a wave of anguish flare inside her chest. She knew she shouldn't be defending Clara, but she really couldn't help it.

"She loved me" she heard herself defend sharply. "I _know_ she didn't want to hurt me and I know that I must have hurt her a lot if she came to the point of believing that my love for her wasn't as big as her love for me. This isn't just black and white Naomi, we both made mistakes. She just made the final decision."

Naomi bit her bottom lip anxiously once Emily was done speaking.

"I... I didn't mean... I'm sorry Ems..." the blonde mumbled softly. "I didn't mean to judge her, yeah? I just... I can't believe anyone who was lucky enough to have your love could just throw it away under the pretence that it wasn't enough..." she finished so quietly, Emily had to strain her ear to hear.

Her heart fluttered in her chest as she did though. There was something burning deep within Naomi's eyes that Emily couldn't quite place. She gulped slowly, suddenly feeling overwhelmed.

"Thank you..." she mumbled, her cheeks probably flaming red.

Naomi shrugged noncommittally, wrenching her eyes away from the redhead. They stayed silent for a few more seconds before Emily breathed in shakily.

"Can you... can you tell me about Montreal now?" she asked softly. "I... I'd like it if we'd talk about something else for a bit... I feel like the break up is all I've been thinking about lately... I'd like to focus on something else."

Naomi smiled and nodded.

"Of course"

Emily smiled along gratefully.

"So Montreal... I'm not sure where to begin Ems..." the blonde replied, a slow satisfied smirk crawling on her lips. "It's... pretty damn nice" she laughed.

"Yeah? So it's not deadly cold?" Emily asked eagerly.

"Oh shit _yes_! It really is sometimes! First week I was there last year, I had to buy a proper winter jacket. Temperatures were deadly. The wind was so bloody cold it froze my eyeballs, eyelashes... Christ, it even froze the inside of my nostrils!"

"That sounds thoroughly unpleasant" Emily giggled.

"It really is! But then, that's so not everything about the city... Remember what I said about festivals? Turns out it's really fucking true. There _always_ seems to be a festival going on. Winter or summer, whenever. It's everywhere and always and it's blinding. Like, I think it was barely a week after I got there last year, I was invited to this outdoor party... They call it Igloo Fest and basically it's clubbing, but outdoors in the middle of winter. People suit up in the most ridiculous outfits they can find, which, you know, often means a fluorescent one piece. I was dragged to a few of those and then, maybe two months after I got there, I was invited to this massive thing, they called it 'la nuit blanche'."

Emily blushed and bit her bottom lip.

"La what? Can you repeat that?" she asked sheepishly.

"Oh my God! Emily Fitch!" Naomi exclaimed with a giggle. "Don't tell me you're one of _those_ girls..."

"What?" Emily asked. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're one of those girls that gets all hot and bothered when they hear French!" Naomi accused, smirking.

"I am _not_!" Emily said.

"La nuit blanche" the blonde repeated.

The redhead felt her cheeks heat up and Naomi burst out laughing.

"You so are" she said through her giggles.

"Oh, shut up!" Emily snapped gently. "French sounds hot, alright?"

"God you'd love Montreal" the blonde mused. "So many beautiful girls, most of which are either open or curious or plain gay. And most of them speak French. It would be paradise for you"

Emily giggled and shook her head.

"Sounds like it..." she winked.

The second she had though, she remembered Clara and her heart sank a little.

"Maybe... maybe not right now though..." she mused.

Naomi gave her an apologetic smile in response.

"Anyway, tell me about this festival" Emily prompted.

"Right, well the name means that it's an all-nighter actually. So it's this big festival that takes place pretty much all over the city expect, like, the far east and west. Public transportations are open all night and so are many places like museums, theatres, shops and more. There are stages set outside with live bands, big inflatable spheres that turn out to be dance floors. Most of the activities are free and you can just wander around... There are people everywhere and it's kind of magical, even when it's freezing cold"

"That sounds great!"

"It really is! All the galleries open and free, everyone in such festive mood... I can't explain it properly"

"You're doing a good job..."

"Thanks" Naomi smiled. "And then, in the summer, the weather gets sticky hot and there are even more festivals. World festivals like the african nights or other ones like the jazz festival. In the summer, you can walk downtown and almost all the streets are closed off to cars. You can be strolling outside one day and stumble upon like... dozens of shows. All of which are free... It's just... kinda great. There are more people in the streets at midnight than noon. Oh and the food really is marvellous!" the blonde finished happily.

Emily looked at her dreamily.

"Wow..." she muttered with a sigh. "This all sounds... so amazing"

Emily stayed quiet for a bit after that and Naomi didn't add anything. She looked at her though. The redhead could feel the blue eyes on her. She wasn't sure if it was for this reason she continued her previous thought.

"All your travels... Everything you've done, everywhere you've been... It sounds... It sounds magical, something out of a book, you know? You've seen things I can't even imagine..." She said wistfully.

Naomi didn't say anything, but it was clear from the way she was twisting her mouth that there was something on her mind.

"What?" Emily asked her, an eyebrow rising.

"I'm just wondering... Why don't you, you know, _do it_... All the travels, all the adventures... You could do it too Ems..." Naomi suggested, her expression completely serious.

For a minute, Emily let herself imagine it. She didn't even have to close her eyes to see herself, hair tied into a ponytail, a large backpack on her shoulders, a wide grin on her face, about to board a train or walking along a dirt road. She could see herself overlooking mountains in Switzerland or walking through fields in Thailand. She could see herself looking at maps in confusion or stumbling into a foreign bed at night, her body aching and exhausted, but also bursting with passion and happiness.

For a minute there, she imagined it all. She let herself soak in the feeling of what a life as a nomad would feel like. And as she imagined it, she saw, right by her side, Naomi smiling, Naomi with her. She shivered.

Once the minute had passed Emily's reality shifted back into place and instead of travelling she saw herself in a home. She saw herself taking pictures, building projects. She saw her family, she saw kids. This time, she couldn't recognise anyone standing by her side.

She sighed and shook her head.

"I... it sounds wonderful when I think about it quickly, but... but I don't think it would make me happy in the long run, you know?" Emily told the blonde.

"Oh? Why not?" Naomi asked, looking genuinely curious.

"I'm not sure I could deal with a life like that... It sounds good, like fun... but it sounds... I don't know... lonely." she shrugged.

"Lonely how?"

"Well... If you're always on the move, you're never really anywhere, are you? It's like you're leaving trails of yourself a bit everywhere, but you don't belong anywhere... I think... I think I'd like to travel... Make a trip or something, a few even, but _always_ be moving? I'm not sure that's what I want..." She admitted.

Naomi tilted her head to the side before asking:

"And what is it that you want?"

"I just want something strong and stable... I mean... I want to build a life... I want to find someone and I want to _be_ with them... I want to invest my entire heart. I want to find that one person that makes my entire body vibrate with only a smile or a look. I want to find someone who I can trust with everything and with whom I can share anything, you know? I don't know... just develop this something so special that even a walk in the park feels special... And I guess one day I'd like to have a family, have kids and love them with all my heart... Just... simple life, filled with love really..." Emily finished.

As her words faded, she noticed how intently Naomi had been looking at her. She saw something flash into her eyes, but she couldn't figure what it was. After a few seconds, the blonde broke the silence.

"I have to admit... I find the idea a bit terrifying" She chuckled.

Emily smiled and chuckled along, but she felt sure that fear wasn't the emotion she'd seen on the other girl's face.

"What's so terrifying about it?" she asked.

"Dunno" Naomi replied with a shrug. "It sounds so... settled..."

"Bit afraid of commitment, aren't you Naomi?" Emily asked with a faint smile.

Somehow though, even if she was smiling, her heart felt heavy.

"I guess..." the blonde chuckled.

"Don't you ever..."

"Yeah?"

"Well... don't you ever feel, you know, lonely?" Emily asked tentatively.

Naomi pursed her lips together and shrugged.

"Not really..."she said vaguely. "I'm best on my own... and when I feel like I need company, I find some so..."

She shrugged again and Emily nodded slowly. The blonde looked awfully serious now though.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked that" the redhead said, suddenly feeling like a twat.

"Don't apologise" Naomi brushed off. "You can ask me anything"

"Yeah, but that was personal and-"

"Ems!" she interrupted. "You can ask me anything" she repeated. "Okay?"

"Okay..." the redhead confirmed with a smile.

After that, they chatted easily. They didn't bring up Emily's break up or Naomi's nomadic ways and it was better that way. They talked and laughed. They looked at some dancing couples, they smiled. Naomi asked Emily about her photography projects and told her about her favourite shots of the year.

It was easy and comfortable, just like every time they'd seen each other over the passing years. And sure enough, they stayed and talked until the lights flashed and it was time to go.

They walked together to the door and stepped outside. Naomi took out a pack of fags from her pocket but when she caught Emily's pursed lips, she smirked and placed it back into her pocket. The redhead smiled gratefully.

Then, the blonde stepped towards her and circled her shoulders. Emily snaked her arms around her waist and a sigh escaped her lips. Why was it so comfortable in Naomi's arms? Not for the first time, the redhead found herself wishing the friendship she shared with Naomi wasn't just a once a year thing.

Before they parted, Emily felt Naomi shift a bit, her chin lowering so her lips were just above her ear.

"Promise me to take care of yourself, yeah?" she whispered.

Emily nodded into her.

"Clara was a fool to let you go... and I know you're hurting right now, but promise me you'll take care of yourself and bounce right back from this, okay? Everything you're dreaming of... I can't imagine you wouldn't get it. All of it."

Emily squeezed her tighter and her throat burned. She didn't reply, just nodded again. She felt Naomi's arms squeeze her one last time before letting go.

"See you next year, Fitch" the blonde smirked, hands safely back into her pockets as she started walking away.

Emily grinned.

"Yeah, see you..." she muttered.

She watched until Naomi was out of sight and then hailed a taxi. Once she was safely sat inside it, she let herself relax.

Naomi had been right. She had to bounce back from this. Bounce back from Clara, take advantage of the break up to make sure her life was how she wanted it to be.

Emily smiled widely. Her life would be different next year, she could feel it.

.

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**8 down 4 to go. I will get through this even though it's definitely not Christmas anymore. Oh whatever! Comments? **

**Hope you have a tremendous week! xx**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I'm so excited! This is the first time ever I can post two chapters of my projects on the same day! How cool is that? I literally have 7 minutes left before I leave for work though and I'm still in my pjs... So yeah, not gonna go on forever! But I hope you like that one! Cheers and thanks for your never ending support which carries me through every chapter!**

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**Chapter 9: The Ninth year **

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Emily closed the door of her flat, a big smile on her face and a particular lightness in her step. The air outside was cold, just enough to make her cheeks flush, but not enough to make her want to scurry back inside and crawl under a blanket. Emily had to admit that, with the light layer of snow covering the ground, this was her favourite Christmas temperature. She started walking, hands in her pockets, still smiling happily.

As she walked and looked at the brightly coloured flats on her street, Emily couldn't help remembering how miserable she had been at that same time the year before. It was true that, a year ago, life had been looking pretty grim for her. Her girlfriend had just dumped her and she'd felt a bit lost in all of it. It had been tough for a few months, Emily couldn't deny it. She'd felt somehow like she'd lost her footing, like the life she thought she had figured out was suddenly not so simple. It had taken her a bit of time before she'd found the strength to get back on her feet and make some changes. She had now though, rebuilding her life piece by piece and she had to admit that the hard times had been totally worth it in the end.

Emily rounded a corner and her mobile started vibrating in her pocket. She retrieved it, frowning slightly. She smirked when she saw her sister's name and swiftly replied.

"You cannot seriously be missing me already," she said in lieu of greetings.

"As if!" her sister scoffed then chuckled. "What's up bitch?"

"Katie... I literally saw you like... an hour ago. There really is nothing new with me," Emily replied, rolling her eyes even though her twin couldn't see her.

"I know, still can't believe you left!" Katie whined.

"That's actually the best part about moving back to Bristol Kay. I get to be there for Christmas and I don't have to sleep at mum and dad's!"

"You'll be there in the morning though, right? I mean, it's like the tradition..." Katie asked sounding a bit worried.

"Aww, are you worried I'll skip our traditional breakfast?" Emily teased. "Is that why you're calling?"

"_No_!" Katie lied.

"I promise I'll be there Katie," she said anyway.

"Good," her sister replied, sounding relieved.

Emily chuckled and shook her head.

"I don't know why you'd want me to sleep home anyway" she mused out loud. "I thought you'd be well glad to have our room to yourself... I mean, I thought you'd want to celebrate with Jer."

Katie hadn't even replied yet, but Emily could already feel her happiness radiating on the other end of the line.

"True... We do need to celebrate." Katie replied, her voice so filled of joy, Emily felt herself grinning like a fool.

"I'm really happy for you Kay. Oh but before I forget, I need to tell you that if you decide on having pink bridesmaid dresses, God help me I will skip your wedding."

"Oi!"

Emily laughed in response along with her twin.

"I mean it," she said, once her laughter subsided.

"No you don't," Katie scoffed. "Anyway, not to worry, like I'd have pink bridesmaid dresses."

"I wouldn't put it past you, if only to make sure you were the fittest..."

"Oh, hun, come one. I'm _always_ the fittest," Katie said confidently.

Emily rolled her eyes again.

"Anyway, where are you? I can hear wind in the background. I thought you went home." her sister said, changing the subject.

"Oh, well I was and now I'm heading to the pub."

She heard Katie scoff on the other end of the line.

"I don't even know why I asked," her sister said. "Of _course_ you're heading to the pub."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Emily defended automatically.

"Oh please," Katie shot back and Emily could _hear_ the eye roll. "You wouldn't miss you yearly meeting with _Naomi_ now, would you?"

"Katie..." she said, her voice stern.

"I mean, totally friendly, _obviously_," her twin continued sarcastically.

"Kay..." she tried again.

"Like, why would _anyone_ ever think it was more than friendship right? You've just hung out with her without fail for what? 9 years? That's totally _normal_. And like, it's not because your last relationship ended because you couldn't break that little _totally normal_ tradition that it means it's weird, yeah? And it's not because you've not really dated since that it means this isn't just a _really great_ friendship."

Emily was blushing furiously by the time her sister had finished talking.

"Shut up Kay!" she mumbled when it was over. "You don't know anything about my relationship with Naomi..."

"Yeah yeah," her sister brushed off. "Just remember when you guys are like planning your wedding that if _I_ can't make my bridesmaids wear pink, neither can you."

"Fuck off!"

"See you in the morning sweetheart!" Katie finished in a singsong voice before hanging up.

"Bitch..." Emily muttered anyway, pocketing her phone.

She could feel that her cheeks were still burning with embarrassment. She hated when Katie was like that, like she knew things Emily herself didn't. Naomi had _not_ been the reason why she and Clara had broken up. And Naomi had _not_ been the reason why she had been so adamant about being in Bristol for Christmas. She just _hadn't_ been. Emily was sure, or at least pretty sure, of that.

Emily was still a bit grumpy when she arrived in front of the pub a few minutes later. When she walked in though, the familiar aroma of hops hit her and instantly she felt herself calm down. She took in the usual decorations, the branches of mistletoe, the tinsels, and a smile graced her lips. It really was beautiful here.

After a quick glance of the place, Emily walked to the bar to order herself a drink. As per usual, she hadn't seen Naomi. She didn't mind though. The blonde would find her, she always did. Besides, Emily had sort of given up the idea of surprising her. She guessed the fact that the blonde was always surprising her had become part of their little tradition. Anyway, she never had to wait too long for the blonde to show up.

She wasn't left disappointed when, a few minutes later, Naomi's unmistakable voice echoed behind her.

"Emily?" it said uncertainly.

Emily turned around with a huge grin, her eyes locking naturally with the blonde's blue orbs. Her eyes travelled automatically along Naomi's body, widening when she caught sight of the other woman's left hand, which just so happened to be wrapped in a cast. Before she had time to speak though, Naomi's own eyes widened and her mouth fell open.

"Oh my God Ems!" she exclaimed. "You dyed your hair!"

It took a full two seconds for Emily's brain to comprehend what Naomi had just said. Her hand automatically went to her now brown locks. She'd dyed it back to her natural colour months ago. It had been a while now and she'd forgotten that Naomi had never actually seen it any other colour than red.

"Oh yeah, do you like-" she started, but cut herself off when her eyes refocused on the blonde's cast. "Okay, never mind my _hair_. What happened to your hand?!"

"Eh?" Naomi said looking confused for about a second, before she looked down at her arm. "Oh! _That_! It's nothing!"

"But my hair is?" Emily teased, a smirk forming on her lips.

"Well my arm isn't news to me. Your hair is," Naomi replied smartly. "And, yes, I like it. I love it actually. I mean, I always thought the red suited you wonderfully, but this... I... I'm a bit speechless. You look... You look _beautiful_," she said seriously.

Emily blushed and bit her bottom lip.

"Thanks," she replied sincerely.

They grinned at each other stupidly for a few seconds before Emily rolled her eyes and moved in.

"Come here," she urged the blonde and snaked her arms around the girl's waist .

She buried her nose into Naomi's coat a little and squeezed tight before letting go slowly. As she did, she noticed that her heart was beating a bit faster. She brushed off the information though.

"It's good to see you..." Naomi said softly, her cheeks a light shade of pink.

"Yeah... likewise," Emily replied.

They stared at each other stupidly again, not really knowing what to say. Emily's entire chest felt warm and just before she had time to ask herself why exactly she felt so happy, the bartender arrived with her cider. A few minutes later, both she and Naomi had glasses of cider and walked to a table. They sat, took off their coats and the minute they did, Naomi set her blue eyes on Emily.

"So... What's new?" she asked with a smile.

"Nu-huh," Emily shook her head. "You have to tell me how you got this first" she finished, pointing at the cast.

"Oh, right! I keep forgetting... It's just, I've had it for a while now. I barely even notice it." Naomi said with a slight shake of her head.

"You're stalling," Emily said with a pointed look.

"What?! Of course not..."

"So why haven't you told me yet?"

"Okay, maybe I _am_ stalling..." Naomi conceded.

"Glad we cleared that up. Now fess up Campbell. How did that happen?" Emily asked again.

"Well it's a bit embarrassing,"

"Yeah? Christ, did it happen during sex or something?" the brunette asked uncertainly.

"Oh my god, no!" the blonde exclaimed. "What kind of sex life do you think I have?!"

"Well you said it was embarrassing..." Emily replied with a shrug.

"Not _that_ embarrassing." Naomi smirked.

"Well then?"

"It was a snowboarding accident if you must know."

"I didn't know you could snowboard!" the brunette said, clearly impressed.

"Not really as my broken wrist can attest," the blonde corrected, waving her cast in front of Emily's eyes.

The brunette chuckled.

"Oh... So... what happened?" she inquired curiously.

"Well, my friend Charlie had been pestering me to try it for like... _months_. Ever since the summer really. Bloody annoying, she was. I gave in eventually. I rented a board and everything. Charlie was well pleased. Anyway, she was trying to teach me how to snowboard and I fell like a twat and tried to like... I don't know, break my fall I guess. I'm not even sure how it happened, but I must have caught myself badly and I snapped my wrist."

Emily winced in sympathy.

"So I guess snowboarding is _not_ your sport, then?" she asked.

"Definitely not!" Naomi said seriously.

"But... that's not embarrassing..." Emily mused. "It's actually kind of cool, no? I mean, a sport injury is well tough..."

"Yeah well... That's because I failed to mention I was on the huh... bunny hill when that happened... See? Now you're laughing!"

"I'm not!" Emily tried to argue, although she was having a hard time controlling her smile.

"Alright enough about me! Let's talk about you. How was your year? I mean, I'm sure you've got _loads_ to say! You're a brunette and you actually look a bit tanned... What's the story there?"

Emily smiled broadly.

"Actually, I just got back from Cuba," she explained.

"Cuba?! Wow! Exotic! Why?"

"Well, a bit for pleasure and a bit for work. I was in dire need of a vacation and I knew Cuba had all these old cars from the 50's along with lot of very interesting local art and such. So I figured I could take some good pictures. I ended up taking a lovely series in a small village. Well, I say lovely, but really it's kind of harsh. It was a poor village... What?" Emily asked when Naomi didn't answer, but instead just stared at her in wonder.

"Nothing..." the blonde said with a slight head shake.

"Obviously not," the brunette argued with an eye roll.

"No, no please. Carry on. Tell me about the pictures you're proud of. Please?"

Emily eyed her uncertainly for a few seconds, but Naomi looked so genuinely interested and eager that she couldn't help herself. She relented.

"Okay well, I took this series in a small village. I was staying in this hotel in Santa Lucia and well, one day I just grabbed a bike from the hotel and decided to explore a bit and-"

"Explore?! Just you and your camera? Ems, are you insane? Jesus!" Naomi cut her off.

The brunette grinned and raised an eyebrow.

"Obviously nothing happened," she said.

"Something definitely could have! You were _alone_ and you have a big expansive camera! Besides, you're like... pocket size! Anyone could have attacked you!"

Emily chuckled.

"Your concern is touching. But I'm _fine,_" she pointed out.

"Yeah well don't try that in Mexico, alright?" Naomi grumbled.

"Promise," Emily replied with a small smirk. "Shall I continue?"

"Yes please."

"Right. So I did some highly dangerous exploring because I'm fearless..."

"Smartass..."

"And it was just... _so_ poor, Naoms... It was awful. Houses built with the most ridiculous things, roofs held on by bricks, dirt roads and shabby fences. It was something else. Very different than the fancy hotel I was staying in. So yeah, I was biking around the little village, taking pictures here and there and then I saw him. He was old, I'm not sure how old exactly, but he had short white hair and the beginning of a white beard. He was sat in front of a house, his legs crossed, his trousers and top covered in dirt, his skin dark from the sun. I don't know why he fascinated me, but he did. So I walked up to him. He was quiet, tapping on his lap absentmindedly. I sat next to him and he looked at me. He had these sparkling dark eyes, almost black. He didn't say anything to me and I was too mesmerized at first to speak. I sat by him for a bit and he just kept tapping. Eventually, I regained some of my wits and I told him in the only Spanish I actually know that my name was Emily. I'm not sure if it was my horrible accent or if it was my name, but then he just started laughing. Like actually, face splitting grin and laughter erupting out of him. His front teeth were missing, but in that moment he just looked so happy. So I took his picture. That set was the best I took over there."

Naomi looked fascinated when she was done with her story.

"Did you learn his name?" she asked.

"No. After he stopped laughing he just said 'abuelo' which I know means grandfather and then continued to tap on his lap, but this time there was more of a rhythm to it. So I copied him and we spent most of the afternoon making tunes together on our laps. People stopped to talk to us, but it was all in Spanish and bloody fast so I didn't understand a thing. The only thing I caught was that everyone else seemed to call him abuelo. Eventually I had to leave. I went back again after that. I'd sit with him and we'd tap. We didn't really say anything else... Okay, you're doing it again!" Emily pointed out once she was finished with her story.

"Doing what?" Naomi replied.

"You're looking at me funny!"

"No I'm not," the blonde defended.

"You _are_!"

"I'm not looking at you _funny_," Naomi said with an eye roll.

"What is it then?"

"It's just... You're absolutely radiant, do you know that?" The blonde admitted, biting her bottom lip. "Every time you talk about something you're passionate about your whole face lights up and your eyes twinkle and your lips curve just a tiny bit, like just talking is making you so happy... the result is a bit... enthralling. I can't help staring a bit, I mean, you get bloody gorgeous..."

Emily's heart thumped loudly in her chest at the admission. She wanted to reply, but she couldn't find the words. There was something about Naomi calling her gorgeous that was entirely too big for her to process.

"Anyway... When is this shoot going to end up in the magazine? By the way, the twats need to wake up! I've not seen your pictures in there for _ages,_" Naomi eventually said, breaking the silence.

"Oh my God! You're still subscribing to the magazine?" Emily said.

"Well, _yeah_."

"Naomi, I quit that job months ago!"

"Oh..." the blonde acknowledged, nodding slowly. "Well that explains the lack of your pictures..."

"I'm so sorry!"

"Don't be!" Naomi brushed off. "It's not like you had a way of telling me..."

"Yeah... I'm still sorry."

The blonde chuckled and rolled her eyes.

"You _would_ be, but really, don't worry about it. Just tell me though, what do you do now?"

"I freelance actually. I left the magazine on good terms so they still buy my pictures sometimes, which is why you've probably seen the one offs."

Naomi nodded.

"Why did you decide to freelance?" she asked, curiously. "I thought you liked the magazine."

"I did," Emily admitted. "They were giving me nicer projects and it was a steady job, but it's not like freelancing. I couldn't work on my own projects as much as I can now."

"Huh, well that's fantastic. Are you getting enough work?"

"Yeah, actually. I've been lucky! A friend of mine heard I wanted to start freelancing back in February and he invited me to participate to a joint exhibition."

"What?!" Naomi exclaimed, her eyes widening. "Your pictures were in an exhibition?"

"Just a few," Emily confirmed with a nod. "And it was a joint exhibition, so there were several other artists as well."

If Naomi had looked incredibly excited when the brunette had told her about Cuba, she was looking a lot grimmer now.

"What's wrong?" Emily asked, her hand finding Naomi's valid one on the table.

"It's just... you were in an _exhibition_," she said softly. "I don't... I don't suppose the expo is still ongoing, is it?"

"No, sorry."

Naomi nodded, looking grave.

"Naoms?" Emily pushed a bit when it didn't look like she was going to say anything.

She brushed her thumb on the blonde's hand and Naomi took a deep breath.

"I missed it..." she explained looking torn.

Emily noticed how nervous she'd been when she felt herself relax notably. She smiled.

"That's okay. You weren't even in the country," she reassured.

"No, but I... Well, I guess... I just wish I'd been able to see it. You first exhibition... It's a big deal."

Emily's smile widened. She couldn't believe how adorable Naomi looked despite the fact that she was visibly upset over this. Her bottom lip was jutting out in a pout and it really was indescribably cute.

"Naomi, it's okay. I promise. There will be other exhibitions," she reassured calmly.

"You promise?" the blonde asked childishly and when Emily started laughing she joined in.

"Promise," the brunette said with a wink, taking her hand away from Naomi's, instantly missing the contact.

Emily didn't want to focus on that though so she quickly changed the subject. They chatted like that for a while, laughing often, exchanging touches here and there. Every time they did, Emily's heart would jolt or her stomach would clench. Her lips would turn into a big goofy grin and, sometimes, if Naomi's touches lingered, she'd even blush a little. She wasn't sure what it all meant, but she certainly didn't feel like she was ready to find out.

"You moved to Bristol?!" Naomi exclaimed at one point when the subject came up. "Why are you just telling me now?!"

"It came up now!" Emily laughed.

"Still, you could have just given up the information freely," the blonde shook her head.

"I fail to see what difference it makes," she said with an eye roll. "Speaking of living arrangements and giving up information freely though," she continued as an afterthought. "Wasn't your Montreal deal a 2 year thing? Where are you headed off now?"

A flame erupted deep inside Emily's chest as she waited for the blonde's answer.

"Oh, right," Naomi replied, looking a bit sheepish. "I've actually signed for an extra year just before hopping back to England."

The flame inside Emily's chest subsided, leaving a bitter slap of disappointment in its stead.

"Three years in the same city?" Emily questioned, trying hard to keep her features neutral. "Careful Naomi. Before you know it you'll be settled."

The blonde laughed and shook her head.

"Actually, I'm going to be spending half of my time in Toronto."

"I knew it was too uncanny to be true," Emily teased and Naomi chuckled.

Somehow, joking about it was making it better.

They continued to talk after that, only stopping for the occasional refills and visits to the loo. It was so easy to talk to Naomi, Emily thought. One day a year and she felt like she'd known the other girl her entire life. There was something about their personalities that just seemed to fit. Like they were two pieces of a puzzle; completely different for the most part, but totally complementary.

Emily had spent most of the past year rearranging her life. She'd figured out her career. She'd moved. She'd sorted herself out after a break-up. Her life was, for all intents and purposes, set. Sure, she hadn't figured everything out, she was only 25 after all, she was allowed, but most of it _was_ figured. In that new plan, in that new life, Emily wasn't sure where Naomi fit. Objectively, she didn't seem to fit anywhere, but the brunette knew that she did. Their friendship was too natural, too easy for the blonde to not have any place in Emily's life.

The night carried on and it was almost closing time when Naomi absentmindedly lifted the sleeves of her shirt, revealing the full extent of her cast. Emily gasped when she saw it, her fingers quickly latching onto Naomi's, dragging her forearm closer.

"Naomi!" she exclaimed, her eyes riveted to the plaster. "Who did this? This is beautiful."

The blonde smiled as her own eyes travelled down to her cast.

Emily didn't speak for a few seconds as she took it all in. On the plaster, instead of the typical signatures and silly messages, there was an intricate drawing. Green grass, pink, lavender and blue rocks, two marguerites tangled in the middle, a sky with deep purple and orange clouds, the landscape on Naomi's cast was not typical at all, but it was breathtaking.

"My friend Yeti did that." Naomi answered. "I mean, Steph, my friend Steph. She's a really amazing artist. She can do about anything and on every surface. So when I learned I'd get a cast I asked her to use it as a canvas. Obviously she had fun with it."

"What did she draw that with?"

"Just sharpies." Naomi shrugged.

"Sharpies?! Come on! You're having a laugh!" Emily exclaimed.

"No I swear! She's just that amazing," Naomi smirked.

The brunette felt something in her chest pinch.

"Yeah? Are you two...?" she asked unsurely.

"Oh no! Not at all!" the blonde replied quickly. "Just friends! I mean, she's a wonderful human being, one of the kindest person I know and really attractive, but not my type at all. We're just mates."

Emily nodded, biting her bottom lip so she wouldn't smile happily at the information.

"How attractive?" she asked teasingly.

"Oi!" Naomi snapped, tugging her arm free from Emily's grip, laughing.

They laughed together for a few seconds, until Emily sighed softly.

"It's gorgeous," she said sincerely. "It's definitely worth not having any signature apart from the artist's on there."

"Actually..." Naomi cut her off, bending down to grab something from her bag on the floor. "I'd quite like it if _you_ could sign my cast," she said, a black sharpie clasped in her hand.

Emily's cheeks flared.

"What? But I couldn't!" she said automatically. "I couldn't ruin the drawing!"

"There's room here on the back," Naomi said, turning her arm to show Emily a small spot. "Just a small signature."

The brunette bit her bottom lip, the corners of her lips tugging up.

"Why d'you want my signature when no one else has signed?" she asked seriously, lifting her eyes to meet the blonde's.

Naomi shrugged and chuckled nervously.

"I dunno..." she replied. "I guess... Your signature is the only I'd care for really so... Besides... It would be nice to have, like, a reminder of you after today. Even if it's a bit silly."

The blonde's cheeks were bright red after she'd explained herself. Since Emily couldn't find words to reply to her, she just grabbed the sharpie from Naomi's hand and took off the cap. She grabbed the cast with her left hand and stared to write with the other. A few seconds later, she was done.

_Emily signed here :-)_

Naomi snorted and rolled her eyes, but her lips were firmly curled into a smirk and Emily could tell she was amused. They stared at each other, not knowing where to go from here. Emily's stomach was making all sorts of twists and turns and she wasn't sure what to do with any of that.

She was saved from answering though when the lights flashed and it was time to go. Neither one of them said anything as they put their coats on and Naomi grabbed her bag from the floor. They still didn't say anything as they walked into the outside air.

Once they were outside though, they faced each other, awkward smiles on both their faces. This was always the weirdest part, Emily thought, the goodbyes. She was still trying to figure out a way to approach this when Naomi beat her to it.

"Huh... before you go... I sort of, well... I have something for you," she said a bit shyly.

"What?" Emily said, her eyes widening in surprise.

Naomi chuckled and opened her bag, taking out a small rectangular box wrapped in shiny red paper from it.

"Well it just occurred to me that we _always_ meet for Christmas yet we've never actually exchanged gifts. I just thought we could make this year more Christmassy. So... here," she finished, extending the box to the brunette.

"Naomi... You didn't have to do this..." Emily whispered, her eyes set on the box.

She heard the blonde scoff.

"Just open it, will you?" she said.

"But I don't have anything for you..." The brunette admitted, feeling guilty.

"You can get me something next year. Now open it! I'm freezing my tits out there," Naomi laughed and that was all the permission Emily needed.

She always said she loved giving presents at Christmas, but secretly, she loved receiving them as well.

Emily noticed that her hands were shaking slightly as she ripped the red paper away from the box as fast as she could. Once the paper was off, she was left with a white box. She opened it, excitement bubbling inside of her. When her eyes settled on the object inside, her mouth fell open.

Inside the neat little box was a silver oval locket about the size of a small egg. The ornament was simply gorgeous. It looked old, darkened silver in some nooks. The design was delicate and elegant, with leaves twisting around each other perfectly.

Emily grabbed it, her eyes locked onto the thing. She turned it over and frowned curiously when she saw the words _'Since we were twelve'_ carved into the silver. Naomi took the box away from her and without even thanking her, Emily opened the locket. Her heart exploded in her chest when she saw two pictures inside it. On one side, a black and white picture of two women she didn't know, wearing big dresses and even bigger hats, but looking at each other with a knowing smile. On the other side, a picture of herself and Naomi, a bit blurry, the two of them huddled close, Naomi looking at the camera with a sloppy grin and she looking at the blonde, her eyes flashing with awe and something else.

Emily had to dig hard in her memory to know how the blonde had even managed to have a picture of them together, then she remembered. Naomi had snapped a quick picture of them when they'd dance a few years ago. A big lump caught in her throat as emotion rose inside her.

"It's an antique," Naomi explained in a whisper. "I left the original picture in there because I know how you love antiques and the locket didn't feel as authentic without it... The lady at the shop where I found it didn't know much about the locket. She said it was sold by one of the lady's nephew. She didn't know what the engraving at the back meant... She didn't know either if those two ladies were best friends or... well, _more_. All I know is that, as far as objects go, I thought this one had quite a big soul... So... well I thought you might like it."

Emily lifted her eyes from the locket to look at Naomi. The blonde tilted her head in amusement.

"Do you like it then?" she asked and it was all it took for Emily to jump into her arms.

Naomi caught her with a delicious giggle.

"I... I..." Emily said shakily, feeling tears form in her eyes.

She wasn't sure why she was so touched by the gesture, but she undeniably was. She doubted anyone had ever given her something so thoughtful before.

"I love it," She eventually managed to choke out. "I can't even tell you how much. Thank you."

The blonde squeezed her tighter and breathed in deeply.

"You're welcome," she muttered in the brunette's ear and Emily shivered.

She clung to Naomi like the other girl was a life-line. She let all her senses be filled, surrounded by everything _Naomi_, not trying to decipher why her heart was hammering inside her ribcage or why her body was vibrating violently.

Too soon, the blonde let go of her firm grip and Emily followed. Before they had untangled completely, Naomi bent low and pressed her lips against the brunette's cheek. Emily closed her eyes and felt goosebumps rise behind her neck at the contact.

"Merry Christmas," Naomi muttered when she moved away.

"Merry Christmas," Emily replied, feeling a bit in a daze.

Naomi looked at her for a beat or two. Emily was too shaken to move. The blonde nodded, smirked and started to retreat.

"Take care of yourself Emily," She said genuinely, a big grin on her face.

"You too," Emily said after her.

And as she looked at the blonde's retreating figure, something clicked inside her. Her chest burst open and the feelings invaded her. She clutched the locket inside her fist, bringing her hand close to her heart as her mouth opened.

At last, it made sense. At last, she _knew_ which place she wanted Naomi to take in her life and it decidedly wasn't a once-a-year-friend. It was so much more than that.

Emily let out a shaky breath and bit her bottom lip as she realised that Katie had been right all along - Emily hated when that happened. There was a reason why her relationship with Clara had failed and why she couldn't seem to find anyone to her fancy and that reason was quite simple.

She wanted Naomi Campbell. And now there would have to be an entire year before she could do something about it.

.

.

**I always seem to make them a bit daft about their feelings, don't I? Well now Emily has it figured out so... yeah! I'll do my best to get you year 10 extra fast!**

**That being said; Yeti/Steph is the only character I've ever written who's not a character but a real person. She's a friend of mine and a tremendous artist! I've posted a picture of the artwork hat inspired Naomi's cast this chapter on my tumblr! For those who don't follow me, it's mmekeek dot tumblr dot com. It's worth the look!**

**Thanks again for reading :) I can't wait to read your thoughts/comments! **

**(Holy crap! 4 minutes left!)**


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